The sky was laden with a haze, Winter in the city Options

[Guest_MikeKuss_*]

The sky was laden with a haze
that only a few people could understand.

The yellow glow from the sun had not
quite turned red yet, signaling to
those watching that it would be a
perfect evening.

Ah, the city sounds that will continue
for a few hours. Horns blaring,
brakes squealing, people yelling, all
trying to make it home or to some
promised destination.

As the city begins to settle in for
the evening, the sounds lessen and the
cold moves in.

Winter in the city is a magical time.
People move quickly, tempers rarely flare.
Everyone is searching for warmth.

Midnight and the city sleeps. A few brave
souls travel about, but most are safe and
warm within their concrete wombs. Awaiting
rebirth at the first light of dawn.

-Mike Kussmaul

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hello Mike,

Welcome to MM.

I'm not certain what level or type of feedback you are looking for in your postings, so I'll first just ask the question and await your reply. Alan has made the same observation I did on my first read. It reads very prose-like. Would you consider adding some inner rhymes and other poetic devices like personification, alliteration and assonance to this piece to give a bit more of a poetic feel?

If I can demonstrate for you, perhaps something might spark your own muse:

The sky was laden with a haze that only a few people could understand.

Maybe sprinkle in one or two inner rhymes and rearrage like this:

The laden sky shed tears
of a crazed haze that
but a few, who knew,
could understand.

Please let me know what you are looking for in a crit and I'll be back.
Cheers
~Cleo