Haiku, Japanese form Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Haiku is one of the most important forms of traditional Japanese poetry. Haiku is, today, a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables respectively.

Haiku (in English) usually appears as an unrhymed three-line verse. It should balance intense, fragmentary imagery with stress on rhythm and sound. Though it can be presented in three lines, a haiku structurally consists of two parts with a pause in between. The power behind it derives from the juxtaposition of the two images and the sense of surprise or revelation that the second image produces. A good haiku is like a good joke: the set-up, then the punch line.

In the broadest sense,Haiku is about Nature. In Japan, most haiku have a season word (Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, New Years) that links the poem with the vast, archetypal round of the Year of Life. Today, in place of the season word, some contemporary haiku poets use keywords that express common themes of human experience (for example, "mother"). This, however, is a matter of controversy in modern haiku.

Some examples of tradition Haiku are listed below by Japanese Poet, Kobayashi Issa for you to enjoy.

in falling rain
one man remains...
blossom shade

the cherry blossoms
that stirred me, shade me
no more

through falling snow
a spring breeze
blows

have you come
to save us haiku poets?
red dragonfly



Please feel free to add to this thread your own haiku..
Mosaic Musings Staff

[Guest_Brahms_*]

Seven sunrises
bumping up Tolt River Road
on the way to work.

A low gibbous moon
follows treetops and the bus
up the logging road.

Cascade eastwind blows
down long valley waking
young fir tips swaying.

I ride on logging roads
slippery with frost in the middle
of a sunrise fire.

Purpled pink hues pierce
frosted air to dance laketop
between mountain pairs.

[Aphrodite]

Seven sunrises
bumping up Tolt River Road
on the way to work.

A low gibbous moon
follows treetops and the bus
up the logging road.

Cascade eastwind blows
down long valley waking
young fir tips swaying.

I ride on logging roads
slippery with frost in the middle
of a sunrise fire.

Purpled pink hues pierce
frosted air to dance laketop
between mountain pairs.

Hi Stephen~

Marvelously sweet and shining   with colorful images!

Keep on writing!

Take care~


Aphrodite (Lindi)

[Cleo_Serapis]

Nicely done Brahms!  :sun:

Look forward to reading more haiku from you!  :pharoah2

~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Morgan le Fay]

A small collection:

Soft air, clear night skies
Katydids and crickets sing
Moonbeams stretch for miles

Raindrops glisten, fall,
Silver Spider's garden web
Tears of the twilight

The Blue Heron lands
A stately Pterodactyl
Ancient Oak limbs sway

Morgan le Fay
Mistress of Magic

[Guest_Brahms_*]

Very fine, Morgan, besides the 5-7-5 balance they so easily place me into the place and time you captured.  So good because that is part of the intention of haiku.  I shall be happy to share more of mine as I learn to ride the 3-1-2 balance, after I share my next poem.

Riding with new saddle,
Brahms

[Guest_Brahms_*]

Pasture Waiting

Water cascading
thin stream into water trough
summer layers land.

Munching horses bow
delightful evening dusk
extra hay now gone.

Horse-trough goldfish rise
up wondering dancing flies
anyone care dance?

Setting sun deepens woods
light green leaves becoming gone
quiet rests the land.

[JustDaniel]

Summer Leaves for Fall

sunned limbs twist inward,
packing up her trunk, leaving
memories to wind

© Daniel J Ricketts 01 Sept 2003

[Cleo_Serapis]

Very fine, Morgan, besides the 5-7-5 balance they so easily place me into the place and time you captured.  So good because that is part of the intention of haiku.  I shall be happy to share more of mine as I learn to ride the 3-1-2 balance, after I share my next poem.

Riding with new saddle,
Brahms

Hi Brahms.

In ALL the threads within "Karnak Crossing" - the 1:3:2 rule is NOT in effect. This is a learning forum and all the threads posted here do not have those 'rules' attached....

Cheers!
~Cleo  :pharoah2

[JustDaniel]

Hey, LorII!

Try ignoring THIS one!


Strawberries Blonde

cut off their green hair;

bowl them over at knifepoint

to serve, cream-caked, whipped

© Daniel J Ricketts 11 Sept 2003

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hey, LorII!

Try ignoring THIS one!


Strawberries Blonde

cut off their green hair;

bowl them over at knifepoint

to serve, cream-caked, whipped

© Daniel J Ricketts 11 Sept 2003

Daniel!    

Well, since I'm BLONDE AND I like starwberries, methinks me like!      

YUMMY!!!!!  

HUGAROOOOS!
~Cleo  

[Guest_Brahms_*]

Low clouds scuttling
gentle dark and white
these Trappist men.

Trappist quiet
rainsong
on the pond.

Gentle rain
wetting yellow grass
men move inside!

Youthful purpose widens
child and mother distance
walking home.

A hermit bullfrog
bellows all his eveings
over monk's path.

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi,

One can also have a haiku cycle where there are several verses (stanzas if one prefers) and in which the first line of the one verse is the same as the last line of the previous - with a final wrap-round at the end, back to the beginning. Moreover, the concept should also by cyclical. I present one below. I seem to remember that I had a doubt about the exact syllable count - I can never seem to assess those correctly. However, basically it is a genuine haiku cycle (it was written for a class in which I was a student some years ago). I will re-post this for crit at some future point; I post it here as an example of a haiku cycle (although you may make any comment if you wish - feel free). It is also in the haiku tradition of observing nature and its changes. By the way, it really was inspired by watching my dogs leap into the air in futile attempts to catch flies.

© James Oxenholme 2003. I, James Oxenholme, hereby assert and give notice of my right under Section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 (Law of Wales & England - as recognised by the international Berne Convention) to be identified as the author of the following article:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The World's Dog Days
by Jox (Writing as JL - # 0025)

Subtitle: The Splendid Futility Haiku
(With acknowledgement to Wilfred Owen)

Dogs jumping for flies;
An ancient tree gently dies.
Summer fades each day.

Summer fades each day;
Ferns turn brown along the way.
Winter's coming soon.

Winter's coming soon;
Insects wrap in their cocoon.
The World hibernates.

The World hibernates;
Frosty hoar clings to the slates.
All is quiet now.

All is quiet now;
Snow covers every tree's bough.
Spring awaits its time

Spring awaits its time;
Magically, brown turns to lime.
The World in flourish.

The World in flourish;
Life everywhere to nourish.
The sun's rays give life.

The sun's rays give life;
Why have a World full of strife?
Dogs jumping for flies.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi,

One can also have a haiku cycle where there are several verses (stanzas if one prefers) and in which the first line of the one verse is the same as the last line of the previous - with a final wrap-round at the end, back to the beginning. Moreover, the concept should also by cyclical. I present one below. I seem to remember that I had a doubt about the exact syllable count - I can never seem to assess those correctly. However, basically it is a genuine haiku cycle (it was written for a class in which I was a student some years ago). I will re-post this for crit at some future point; I post it here as an example of a haiku cycle (although you may make any comment if you wish - feel free). It is also in the haiku tradition of observing nature and its changes. By the way, it really was inspired by watching my dogs leap into the air in futile attempts to catch flies.

© James Oxenholme 2003. I, James Oxenholme, hereby assert and give notice of my right under Section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 (Law of Wales & England - as recognised by the international Berne Convention) to be identified as the author of the following article:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



-------------------------------------

The World's Dog Days
by Jox (Writing as JL)

Subtitle: The Splendid Futility Haiku
(With acknowledgement to Wilfred Owen)

Dogs jumping for flies;
An ancient tree gently dies.
Summer fades each day.

Summer fades each day;
Ferns turn brown along the way.
Winter's coming soon.

Winter's coming soon;
Insects wrap in their cocoon.
The World hibernates.

The World hibernates;
Frosty hoar clings to the slates.
All is quiet now.

All is quiet now;
Snow covers every tree's bough.
Spring awaits its time

Spring awaits its time;
Magically, brown turns to lime.
The World in flourish.

The World in flourish;
Life everywhere to nourish.
The sun's rays give life.

The sun's rays give life;
Why have a World full of strife?
Dogs jumping for flies.

WOW!  :artist:  :musicband:  :angel:

These are great! You've added another level to this form.

Wonderful!  :pharoah2  :cloud9:

Excellent sample as well!

Cheers!
~Cleo  :pharoah:  :fish:  :tigger:  :glitter:

[Guest__*]

Dear Jox

What'a all this about "I don't do poetic forms" !

This cycle is brilliant, and as said, takes us to a new level .....

Love
Alan

[Guest_Jox_*]

Cleo and Alan,

Thank you very much indeed. I really only dabble in poetry whilst trying to be a successful novelist (ie have one published!). Even more rarely do I use a form - think this and my recent toilet are the only two, apart from a three-line odd hikau. I suspect that the only time I can write in form is when the whim (sounding like Cleo now!) provides me with a strong tale to tell. Anything weaker and it has to be free-form.

Still, I have the scissors here and will be cutting your very flattering comments off the screen and framing them on the wall.

Thank you. Jox.

[Cybele]

Good Morning to all

Since this is my first visit to Haiku and since it is a form I have never yet tried, I address this to the inspirational pieces I have read here.

I ride on logging roads
slippery with frost in the middle
of a sunrise fire.                          

Horse-trough goldfish rise
up wondering dancing flies
anyone care dance?                    

Youthful purpose widens
child and mother distance
walking home.

Stephen these are wonderful mind pictures. I see them so clearly through your eyes.

Soft air, clear night skies
Katydids and crickets sing
Moonbeams stretch for miles  

Morgan - of all your lovely pieces, I absolutely love this one. I take it Katydids are some kind of cicada (what a wonderful name!)  


The World's Dog Days

James,

This whole cycle is very, very lovely.  The whole work causes emotional reactions in me, and I'm sure in everyone else who reads it.


Love and congratulations to you all

Grace

[Cybele]

Hello Daniel,

Summer Leaves for Fall

sunned limbs twist inward,
packing up her trunk, leaving
memories to wind

Clever use of colour to illustrate this one Daniel and a great image of Autumn's end.


Cheers

Grace

[Guest_Jox_*]

Grace; most kind of you (as always!). Thank you very much. That's one of the nicest things anyone has said about my writing. Keeps one going and all that. So, if anyone asks why I'm still turning out poems when I should shut up I'll blame you!

Again, thank you Grace. I really appreciate what you said.

Strangely, I have just been replying to a crit of that very poem (I have posted it in the poetry crit area now). So if you wish to take a look please feel free to do so.

James.

[Cleo_Serapis]

This is coming along nicely!  :)

Although I must admit that this one:

I ride on logging roads
slippery with frost in the middle
of a sunrise fire.                          

Is not Haiku (too many syllables per line) although it is pretty!  :sun: Brahms - would you like to re-write that one perhaps so it's 5/7/5?

Cheers!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi,

Brahams is arguing (see his crit of my Hikau cycle in the crit area) that 5/7/5 is merely a recent American constraint on the Haiku - nothing to do with the original Japanese. I am trying to find out more. He says 5/?/5 is the proper original Japanese format. Of course I hope he is right but if I - or anyone out there - can find evidence either way it would be useful.

J.

[Guest__*]

Haiku - THE RINGER
(A Tragedy In 17 Syllables)

This morning I rang
To ask you to marry me
But you were engaged .......

Alan McAlpine Douglas

[JustDaniel]

Here's one to break many of the 'rules' I've read of haiku:  titled, rhyming, acrostic, unseasoned:

S.O.S.

see a ding-a-ling
overkill this haiku thing;
scant impressioning

© M Lee Dickens’ son 26 Oct 2003

Lightly, Daniel  

[Michelle]

This is my first haiku.  A very knowledgeable
poet taught me his expectations of a haiku
and I wrote this hoping to impress him.  lol

bushy tail fox hides
green field camouflages frog
perilous limelight

[JustDaniel]

Bushed Fox?

vixen’s hoary tail
camouflaged nothing from frog;
who visits who’s pad?

© M Lee Dickens’ son 26 October 2003

[Guest__*]

The (Dahl-iesque) F R G

Take nothing from frog
and you spawn new word thus : frg.
Unpronouncable .....

Alan McAlpine Douglas

[JustDaniel]

The (Dahl-iesque) F R G

Take nothing from frog
and you spawn new word thus : frg.
Unpronouncable .....

Alan McAlpine Douglas

Hey Alan, you're in the wrong thread.  You're not supposed to extract frog's clothes or anything else in this one!!

Haven't we disgust this before?  

fall's frog in my throat,
slugs in nasal passages;
lungs drown in refuse

sLightly congested, Daniel  

[Michelle]

Tadpole grows strong legs
Surmounts pond, embarks on land
Splash! wash dust from back

[JustDaniel]

how about silly senryu?

Whether one hump
or two its always perfect
here on camel lot

© Daniel J Ricketts 29 Jan 2003

[Cybele]

First attempts at Haiku

from petrol droplets
swirling in a small puddle
A rainbow shines out

Sparrows in springtime
writing on telephone lines
their musical notes

In the pristine snow
birds tracking convict arrows
across the white lawn

[Guest__*]

Dear Grace

I prefer my haiku to be precisely 5-7-5, but that is not the only reason to LOVE your 3rd one :

In the pristine snow
birds tracking convict arrows
across the white lawn

What an image, what observation !

Love
Alan

[Cybele]

Good Sir Knight

Thank you for your kind comment.  :upside:  I see now the format involved and have corrected the first two. I think they now conform.  Haiku is great fun. Will attempt some more.


Love

Grace

[Cybele]

Dear Alan

Haiku - THE RINGER
(A Tragedy In 17 Syllables)

This morning I rang
To ask you to marry me
But you were engaged .......

Very clever, very poignant and very funny!!

Love

Grace

[Cybele]

Hi Michelle

I just love how Haiku can say so much in so few words.

bushy tail fox hides
green field camouflages frog
perilous limelight

This is a complete story.  I think these Haiku could easily give birth to full length poems.

Yours is very inspirational!!  :read:

Love
Grace

[Michelle]

Grace,  it's hard to believe this is your first haikus!  Wonderful!

All three are very good.  I like the third the best though.  

Great job!


Michelle


ooops,  thank you too for your kind words.

[Guest__*]

To the 12 minute double haiku-ist, aka Grace !

From my post to your brillaint corrections in less than 12 mins ! Who knows how many elapsed before you even saw my comment !

Now I LOVE all three.

You have an observational ability that I really enjoy, keep it up !

Love
Alan

PS and thanks for your comment on mine too !

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hello, excellent haikus everyone... good show.

Talking of "good show" - just a technical point which many of you might already know - so apologies if I am only telling you again. However...

It is "Quite Interesting" that the word "limelight" comes from the theatre. In the days before electric lighting, stage hands used to burn lime to illuminate the stage. This cast an eerie green glow upon the thespians. From then onwards, actors were said to "be in the limelight". So "wanting to be in the limelight" means that one wishes to be on show etc. Ok, everyone knew that? Well I've done no harm then! And I enjoyed my moment in the limelight.

Toodle Pip, J.

PS I knew that Michelle would like that "foxtail" reference!

[JustDaniel]

Thanks for the info, Jax.  I for one never understood the "limelight" thing, never having experienced it!

It occurred to me this morning that the appropriate sentence for the California arsonists, should they find them might be the following:

Punishment Fits Crime

west coast arsonists
seem to long for the limelight;
burn them at the stake

© M Lee Dickens' son 28 Oct 2003



And Grace, exquisite stuff!  I hope you'll forgive this take-off (I know; it burned up before landing! )  

ICU Phone Home

wintering sparrows
lined up itinerary;
crossed wires – last fryday

© M Lee Dickens' son 28 Oct 2003

[Cybele]

Hi Daniel,

Thank you for your comments

After reading your last two offerings I think you should choose a new pen name, how about Jean D'Arc?  Might be a good time to stake your claim to this one.

Cheers
Grace

[Cleo_Serapis]

Just so no one gets confused, this tile is for the serious HAIKU postings.

We have dubbed Alan's "Extraction Haiku tile" as the one for comedic haiku.

Thanks all!

~Cleo  

[Guest__*]

Dear Cleo

Ha, I have a problem : My haiku, while I hope funny, usually have a serious intent behind them. So do I post twice ?

love
Alan

[Cleo_Serapis]

Dear Cleo

Ha, I have a problem : My haiku, while I hope funny, usually have a serious intent behind them. So do I post twice ?

love
Alan

Sure - why not?  :cowboy:  :grinning:  :read:  :viking:

[Cybele]

Having started writing Haiku, I now can't stop... help!!!



borne on the spindrift
a seagull feather takes flight
without its owner

footsteps skip lightly
child carrying a balloon
after the party

sepulchral ship's horn
attempting to pierce the fog
seeking safe harbour

laughing impishly
grand daughter tickles my cheek
with butterfly kiss

tipsy butterflies
dreamily drunk on pollen
all their curtailed lives

through the woodland trees
Snow Moon points bone-white fingers
at nodding snowdrops

the swing still moving
she has run away laughing
but she is still missed

soapy bubbles fly
puppy, tiring of the chase
flops down, falls asleep

[Guest__*]

Dear Grace

"I now can't stop... help!!!"

Answer : GOOD !

Out of these 8, there were only about 7 I liked. Some I even loved, they give such a concise pinpoint pen picture.

May I suggest ship's horn ? alliteration !

Grace has haiku bug :
she is occupied painting
pinpoint pen pictures .....

Love
Alan

[Michelle]

James,  thank you for the information.  I had no idea
of its origin.  You've taught me something today.

Grace, your haiku are wonderful.  I especially like:


tipsy butterflies
dreamily drunk on pollen
all their curtailed lives

I find this one has great depth.

I dug up another one of mine.



Salmon fights current
Berries lead black bear to stream
Fated compulsions

[Cybele]

Hello Michelle,

Such a wonderful mind picture.  I wish I was there with my camera. I am crazy about photographing wildife and this is the nearest I shall ever get to a grizzly. You have taken me right into this picture. Thank you  

Love

Grace  

[Cybele]

Hello Alan

Thank you.  I never could distinguish between ship and boat. Certainly sounds much better now.

This is great fun. I'm sure some of these will lead on to poems, but I am having great fun writing them.

Thanks to you and Michelle for the encouragement.

Love

Grace  :farmer:  :cloud9:

[Guest__*]

Dear Grace

"I never could distinguish between ship and boat"

Nor can half the nation, there is a correspondence going on in the D Telegraph just now on this very point.

Bit like the Q "What's the difference between a dog and a flea ?" - "Well, a dog can have fleas, but ....." - generally, a ship can have boats .....



Love
Alan

[Guest_Brahms_*]

New pasture bride-way
600 foot mud puppies
from wetland to here.

[Guest__*]

Dear Brahms

Not being in the least a country boy, I have to ask

1.  what is a bride-way, or do you poss mean bridLe-way ?

2.  What's a mud puppy ?


Love
Alan

[Cleo_Serapis]

Merging into HAIKU thread.....

Nicely done!

[JustDaniel]

Hey, Grace, you're a natural!  Sorry I'm so unnatural!  I guess that's why I created my own form, HeadCase Haiku!  Sorry, LorII for my cowpie-ing this thread... but looks like someone else just did too?

casting rays of joy
sweet voice awakens day’s sun;
laughter lingers long

© Daniel J Ricketts 24 March 2003

[Guest__*]

WASTE, OR WAIST ?

Hallowe'en's over:
Trick is with leftover treats,
Wouldn't want to waist .....

Alan Mcalpine Douglas

[JustDaniel]

fall of dignity

trees refuse to leave;
they’ll cast costume to the wind,
stand stark, arms outstretched

© Daniel J Ricketts 03 Nov 2003

[JustDaniel]

fall beclouds

shadowing daylight,
then reigning o’er noon’s parade,
what be fall’s clouds? mist?

befogging our daze,
they loft, leave a cirrusly
cumulous affect

feigning memories
their wisp a ring in silence
as they diminish

leaving trees baring
shivering limbs with trunks packed,
but nowhere to go.

© Daniel J Ricketts 04 Oct 2003

[Cybele]

December roses
brave the kiss of falling snow
with  sweet submission

Grace

[JustDaniel]

December roses
brave the kiss of falling snow
with  sweet submission

Grace

My muse has twisted words again, Grace!

Quiet Resign

cold North Sea sailors
immerse themselves deeply in
covert sub mission

© M Lee Dickens’ son 08 Nov 2003

[Cleo_Serapis]

Nice reading in here!  

OK - I'll try one!

Whispers of the wind
waltz in perfect unison
with rhythmic motion.

[Cybele]

Whispers of the wind
waltz in perfect unison
with rhythmic motion.

Nice alliteration Lori, evoking the whoosh of the wind.

Aquilegias stand
like tall, elegant ladies
in smart, pink bonnets

This is fun!  :dance:  :dance:

[JustDaniel]

sign: Custard's Last Stand
ice cream drive-in furthest south
at the Jersey Shore

sLightly askew, if you ask me, Daniel  

[JustDaniel]

mirrors

wakened, squinting eyes’

vengeful mourning reflection

getting back at me

© Daniel J Ricketts 12 Nov 2003

[Cybele]

unmourned,  with throats cut
on the fresh-mown Summer lawn
murdered daisies lie

Grace

[JustDaniel]

How un-Graceful, Cybele!  

poetic just is

stirring in your wake
as you chuckle off to bed
is pay-back enough

©M Lee Dickens’ son 30 Nov 2003

[Cybele]

Hi Daniel,

Sorry, I just always feel so sorry for the daisies!



Love

Grace  

[Cybele]

on the log cabin
ice crystals hanging from eaves
rainbowed by the sun

[JustDaniel]

jack’s flap house crystal

in jack’s Log Cabin
crystallized maple syrup
wreaked havoc on pour

© Daniel J Ricketts 01 Dec 2003

[Cybele]

my head tilted back
to catch  raindrops on my cheeks
end of Summer’s drought

Grace

[JustDaniel]

Hi, Grace!  Lovely, indeed!

When you posted this, I was painfully suffering through my last day at the hospital on the CPM machine... with a newly discovered bed sore... and twelve hours later was transferred to the rehab hospital.  

I'd love to have been able to read you poem then.  I love summer rain!  Thank you.

past the bend

running was my bent…
such pressure… fell to my knees;
limped through Guide’s strait gait

© Daniel J Ricketts 18 Dec 2003

[Cybele]

Good Morning Daniel,

How lovely to hear from you.  I have been thinking of you and praying everything went well with your operation.  Not the dreaded bedsores!
I know exactly how this feels. I suffered badly from them after acquiring my new hip.

I hope your recovery will be very speedy and that you will at least be comfortable for Christmas.  

Glad you liked that one. In 1976 we had the longest Summer drought of all time. On 31st July in rained for the first time in about 5 months after a scorching Summer. It rained so hard that within 2 minutes the roads were flooded to a depth of about 6 inches because the drains were full of dust and couldn't cope with the sudden deluge. People were dancing in the rain!

Summer slinks away
hidden by autumnal mist
unseen, unnoticed

Love and best wishes to you Daniel


Grace

         

[Guest__*]

Dear Grace

Quite lovely !

Lets see if I can respond :


WHIMPERS

Summer slinks away
hidden by autumnal mist
unseen, unnoticed

Autumn, fading, hides
its many hues and colours :
blanketed, banked, blanked.

Shush, speak not of slush;
winter's end fills busy drains,
green springs sprout afresh

Spring's dated newness
fades, all cloaked by greenery;
Earth, primed, produces .....

Grace Galton  (verse 1)
Alan McAlpine Douglas (verses 2-4)

[Cybele]

Good Morning Alan,

Great response!

 
WHIMPERS

Summer slinks away
hidden by autumnal mist
unseen, unnoticed

Autumn, fading, hides
its many hues and colours :
blanketed, banked, blanked.

Shush, speak not of slush;
winter's end fills busy drains,
green springs sprout afresh

Spring's dated newness
fades, all cloaked by greenery;
Earth, primed, produces .....

a Summer meadow
dappled with blood red poppies
where the skylarks rise


Grace Galton  (verse 1 and 5)
Alan McAlpine Douglas (verses 2-4)

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Grace,

unmourned,  with throats cut
on the fresh-mown Summer lawn
murdered daisies lie

I'm with you! (I don't mow interesting flowers out).

All these veggies and tidy gardeners massacring all the plants.

Anyway, a jolly good Haiku 'twas - and back to the original Japanese theme of nature.

on the log cabin
ice crystals hanging from eaves
rainbowed by the sun

Lovely, pastoral and very evocative.

my head tilted back
to catch  raindrops on my cheeks
end of Summer’s drought

Great for today's murky day... good job we can share it; I'm tempted to let Daniel have it for his pains (Hi Daniel! Welcome back) but I don't need to... you've given it to us all. Thank you.

1976 - I remember it well - we called in native American shamen to dispel the heat and encourage the rain. What a terrible Summer! I love saunas - but I also love to step out of them.

And yet another fine poem!

Some other excellent poems on here from Daniel and Alan and others but I think yours strike especially true for me, Grace. Absolutly fantastic!

Well done to all.

James.

[JustDaniel]

Agreeing with James' assessment...

we now move from the sublime to the ridiculous:

lashed words in tasty mint

‘tis grace to right wrongs
but graceless to write them down;
wronged rite ~ o bit tongue

© M Lee Dickens’ son 26 Dec 2003  

offered Lightly, Daniel  

[Cybele]

still wrapped in your love
tears dry on my cheeks, pain salved;
hold me forever

[Guest__*]

Dear Grace

Loved the haiku, and can respond with a few on the same subject, very much with you and Ralph in mind .....



Still, rapt in our love,
my cheeks tearless, salvation
holds us forever.

Though flesh will perish,
the glowing raptures we know
cannot be ruptured.

From beyond the grave,
there's levity in your voice;
I know your laughter .....

Physically gone :
gravity may own your bones;
I've the real you, still .....


Love
Alan

[Cybele]

Good Sir Knight

Thank you for your empathy and beautiful, responsive haiku, I have saved them to read whenever I need to.

20th December 2003

gold- rimmed clouds today;
the last perfect sky we see
together my love

Love

Grace

[Cybele]

albino badger
viewed in a floodlit garden;
crunches ginger nuts

[JustDaniel]

if you'll pardon an askew senryu...

painting outside…

the yellow paint dries
arcing in dots from the lane
where I’d passed line truck

© M Lee Dickens’ son 16 Jan 2004

[Cybele]

Good Morning Daniel,

A very vivid picture indeed. I assume these are the central road lines dividing lanes? Ours are white,yellow being reserved for No Parking areas.


Millie the farm horse
her big brown eyes begging me;
any mints today?

[Cleo_Serapis]

Warm sun glistens frost
on a brisk morning of hope;
Can you feel the air?

[JustDaniel]

Interactive Haiku, anyone?

Millie the farm horse
her big brown eyes begging me;
any mints today?

- cybelle

any mints today?
only snow-crusted apples
warm sun glistens frost

- Daniel

Warm sun glistens frost
on a brisk morning of hope;
Can you feel the air?

- Cleo

can you feel the air?
it’s glistering with snow flakes
breathed out from above

- Daniel

[Guest__*]

Dear Daniel

can you feel the air?
it’s glistering with snow flakes
breathed out from above

breathed out from above
God's seasons each in its turn
except Florida

Love
Alan

[JustDaniel]

Dear Daniel

can you feel the air?
it’s glistering with snow flakes
breathed out from above

breathed out from above
God's seasons each in its turn
except Florida

Love
Alan

state of the south

accept Florida;
you can if you concentrate:
frozen?  orange juice!

© Daniel J Ricketts 18 Jan 2004

Lightly snowed,
Love, Daniel  

[Guest__*]

Dear Daniel

You had me LOLling about "! A what a title !



Brazen orange juice
is served with or without "bits",
always in yer face .....

Love
Alan

[Cybele]

Dear Daniel,

Not to spoil your initiative. Just trying to write again.

in the hushed woodland  
Snow Moon points bone-white fingers;
snowdrops nod gently


Grace

[Cleo_Serapis]

OOOhhhhhhhh  

This looks fun!  

Ok:

in the hushed woodland  
Snow Moon points bone-white fingers;
snowdrops nod gently

Grace

Snowdrops nod gently
spredding white dust over trees;
Pines give 'thanks' for coat.

Cleo

[JustDaniel]

Pineys: Thanks fer coat!
collar always in yer face,
snowdrops gnawed gently

deLightin' in y'all  :sun:

[Cybele]

Hi Daniel,

Still not able to think of witty follow-ons at present, so please skip over this one and continue the fun.


full moon regarding
its pale face in icy pond;
true mirrored image


Love

Grace

[JustDaniel]

Well!!!  I never!  Moon us, will ya, Grace!?

pale moon

wan-skinned grace… she mooned
from icy stair, pond… er…ring,
both lobes reflecting

© M Lee Dickens’ son (Daniel) 21 Jan 2004

Light cheekily, Daniel  

[Cybele]

onslaught of winter
sprinkle of fine dandruff;
the scarecrow buckles  

[JustDaniel]

onslaught of winter
sprinkle of fine dandruff;
the scarecrow buckles  

Awesome piece, Grace...and I got your note.  Thank you for sharing; my heart is with you in the transition.  Please feel free to email me?

... and I feel the grief in your haiku, Grace...

winter slaps my face;
darkness now shrouded in white
soon melts to new life

© Daniel J Ricketts 22 Jan 2004

sharin' de Light in darkness, Daniel  

[Guest_Dove_*]

The sweetness of full,
orange nectarines turns purple;
the sun and moon waltz.

[JustDaniel]

Con sensual

Lust posing as love
turning a world inside out;
bad feels good, pure dull.

[Cybele]

winter stars glitter. .
sailor blows warmth in cupped hands
dreaming of hot tea



Grace

[Guest_Dove_*]

Purple violets
are warmed by children's laughter
and the orange sunlight.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Flakes fall ubiased
sprinkling kisses of cool love
to warm a shy smile.

[Cybele]

Good Morning Dove and Cleo,

Two lovely pieces, one colourful and cheery - the other soothing and loving.


bouffant snowflakes swirl,
the yellow-eyed cat crouches
beneath a green car


Love

Grace

[Athena]

Delightful, Grace!

Won't you come and try our new interactic haiku, too?

Blessings,
Dolly    

[Cybele]

Hello Dolly,

Thank you for your kind words.  I shall keep looking in on the inter-active haiku and I will certainly join in again as soon as I feel able. At present though I am finding it a little hard to communicate in the true spirit of camaraderie and don't wish to spoil the fun for others.

If I see one I feel I can tag on to without depressing everybody I shall.

Love

Grace

[Cybele]

the snow covered roof
of the garden bird table;
robins dining out