Image by the Stormy Sea, surprise challenge Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

While Pandora's been busy with Merlin chasing his horse and owls (see second Sep challenge), Imhotep talked me into adding another IMAGE for your musing. While not technically a 'Pandora's Chaos' challenge, why not have a go at this one?

Your task:
Write about the image below and include the phrase: "The *tangerine sky"

Good luck! There is no announced end date for this challenge.

~Cleo and Imhotep    

*Changed the color to tangerine 9/15/03.

[JLY]

TWO SINGING HEARTS

As the raging surf
pounds the rock strewn shore,
I think of the many reasons
that make our lives seem new.

Two singing hearts are fluttering,
like a gently windswept balloon.
Sunny souls forever in tune,
in unison we always commune.

You’re my perpetual radiant lighthouse,
illuminating my psychic horizons,
synchronizing my dormant sensitivities,
fortifying our quotient of connectivity.

My life has been instilled
with an ever-flowing fountain of love,
affording me the resolve to reach out
and touch God’s tangerine sky.

[Aphrodite]

Bleeding ice cream sky buries jagged
silhouettes shading distortion...

brushing blended hues of reflected truthfulness

Speckled heart drops mask unsympathetic waters
spilling consternation…

brushing blended hues of reflected truthfulness

Suspended sunset releases tangerine sky
sugared velvety smooth...

brushing blended hues of reflected truthfulness

Where lies truth?

[Guest_Jox_*]

Sorry; I came to comment but I do not understand the poem... would you explain it to sometbody feeling very unintelligent, please? Thanks in anticipation, Jox.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Lindi!  

Congrats for being the first challenge replier for this colorful image! A reflection of a 'sherbert' sky I see mingled with distorted truths. I like your use of 'unsympathetic' metaphor for waters that are 'churning and out of control' like just as a storm hits the surf in one's mind!    Clever!

Nice aliteration too! Where is our rainbow in the carpet of tangerine dreams?

Cheers!
Cleo  

[Guest_Brahms_*]

Thank you, Lindi, for using and sharing your talent
which lightly entranced me, as is.

Brahms

[Aphrodite]

Hey Lori~

Thanks, and I appreciate you supplying an inspiring picture to write about.

Have a great day.

Lindi

[Aphrodite]

Hello Brahms~

Thanks, so much for taking the time to read and comment.
There is such melody in your words, including the lovely responses you leave.

Take care~    
Lindi

[Aphrodite]

Sorry; I came to comment but I do not understand the poem... would you explain it to sometbody feeling very unintelligent, please? Thanks in anticipation, Jox.

Hello Jox~

It is a pleasure to meet you! I am happy to explain the meaning behind my poem. Did you look at the picture that Cleo provided?
Well, here I go....
PS I tend to me somewhat abstruse in a lot of my poems. Also, I used quite a few "art" metaphors in this piece.:)

Ice Cream Sky (the sky looks like sherbet ice cream, to me)

Bleeding ice cream sky buries jagged
silhouettes shading distortion...

colorful (wounded) sky hides (like a band aid) rough edges or times
and through the beauty distorts the reality of pain

brushing blended hues of reflected truthfulness

an artist's brushing and blending of colors, (true emotions) slightly revealed

Speckled heart drops mask unsympathetic waters
spilling consternation…

again, through specks of color and beauty-unhappiness and gloom shows through

brushing blended hues of reflected truthfulness

glimmering hope

Suspended sunset releases tangerine sky
sugared velvety smooth...

light at the end of the rainbow, through the darkness......brightness

brushing blended hues of reflected truthfulness

Where lies truth?

A play on words: Where (lies) (truth)

In other words, things are never quite what they appear to be. Whether a seemingly "wonderful" relationship, or a bright glorious sky about to roar with thunder.  

I hope this helps. Thanks, for taking the time to ask and I look forward to reading your poem soon.

Take care~  
Lindi!

[Guest_Jox_*]

Lindi,

Great to meet you too and thank you very much indeed for explaining; much appreciated.

I had seen the picture and considered it with a view to attempting a response. However, I am afraid I did not like the picture - but did not hate it either. In other words, although I did not care for it I have no strong feeling therefore was unable to produce any useful response. (It reminded me of a typical student wall poster of the 1970s I'm afraid!). The other problem is simply hearing The Beatles' Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds (LSD) song about a tangerine sky. And then there is another of my favourite bands - Tangerine Dream who are named after that Beatles song. After thinking of the music of those two bands the picture stands no chance at all in my mind!

I think that all the people who are making a response are doing very well - I have no idea how you did it.

I had realised some of what you said - but there are a good many subtleties which I had certainly missed. I have read and re-read your poem (in the light of your explanation) and it is starting to make sense to me. (No poem should give-up all its treasures at once).

Thank you for taking the trouble and time to reply and for enabling me to appreciate your word painting.

Jox.

[Aphrodite]

Hello Jox~

Thanks, for stopping back. I appreciate your kind words as well.

See ya around the Mosaic! :)

Take care~
Lindi    

[Arnfinn]

Hi Lindi




Bleeding ice cream sky buries jagged
silhouettes shading distortion...>>>>>>>>>nice.....cherry on top

brushing blended hues of reflected truthfulness

Speckled heart drops mask unsympathetic waters
spilling consternation…>>>>>>>>>threatening

brushing blended hues of reflected truthfulness

Suspended sunset releases tangerine sky
sugared velvety smooth...

brushing blended hues of reflected truthfulness


Is this a specific POETRY form............or is it a LINDI


Hmmmmm...........The single line, beneath the couplet.........sets the tone for the couplet.


Very good


Arnie  :troy:

[Aphrodite]

Hey Arn~

Thanks for your nice remarks. You are so sweet!              
       

Take care~

Lindi

[Aphrodite]

Hello Arn~

How are you? This piece is a pretty obscure and "deep" one. I guess, my message is: things aren't always what they seem, and if you look deep enough you'll see the truth underneath the covering!

I use this form with repeating lines, from time to time. The great thing about contemporary poetry is that almost anything goes! Right????

I always appreciate your perspective, and respect how you search deep within the lines!      

Take care~        
Lindi

[Arnfinn]

Hi Lindi


Yeah! I could see the way the poem was set out that you were reinforcing a message in the couplet........I think it's a good form construction.........because by using two lines........what your saying doesn't get cluttered up and lost.........and the single line underneath becomes a sort of repeated text..........That's why I enquired.......whether it (the poem) was a recognized form

I'll call your poem a duet-text form


He He...........


Arnie

[JustDaniel]

Light Aweigh

Reflect – and quickly – ‘neath three shades of blue;
pontificate your light oe’r whimp’ring see.
Your rocky coastal passage still lies true
beneath a shimm’ring beam your eye sends free.

O, beacon with a cape, lift up your head
to see a fruitful sight . . . a tangerine
sky squeezing out sweet dew till sun is dead
beneath a wat’ry grave spread out between.

Yes, high and mighty there, keep shedding truth,
but also send some help . . . and that, in force!
This spectacle makes drunker than vermouth;
a poor distracted captain’s now off-course.

Show Coast Guard cutter through this citrus night;
one soul's gone overboard.  Divert its flight.

© Daniel J Ricketts 19 Sept 2003

[Cleo_Serapis]

Well done Daniel!

You've certainly done us proud on this lovely response!

HUGS!
Cleo  

[Guest_Brahms_*]

Daniel, good passage o're the ways of your story.
Sailing nautical terms used so well they easily
place us to your scene.
The conclusion effectively wraps one to the end
of your unanswered presenation.

Brahms

[Cleo_Serapis]

Wow John!

What an awesome response here to the Image by the Stormy Sea!

I love the whole piece, and if I had to pick a favorite line, it would be:
:\"You’re my perpetual radiant lighthouse,
illuminating my psychic horizons,"...

OK - so fav couplet..  


Well done!        

~Cleo  

[Guest_Artemis_*]

I'm afraid I'd have trouble writing about this one...

The lighthouse reminds me far too much of That Tower on the cover of the Little Mermaid video!  Yes...  **That** tower!  The one that some folks claim is supposed to be a......

...but it's not really that. It's just a tower.....

oh wait!
here's apoem... it snuck up behind me, and took me by surprise!


Virile,
a beacon
pierces tangerine sky,

and brings a wry
tear to my dry eye.
I'd rather peruse a Cruise.

The sky becons...
vanilla


gena
artemis

[Guest__*]

Dear Gena

Very ingenious !

The singer Melanie (Brand new rollerskates, remember her ?) also had a song about anything that is longer than it is broad, is an, erm, uh, a lighthouse !

Love the inverse use of "beacon", wonder if you mean "beckons" ?

Love
ALan

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Gena!

You fooled me!  

What an intriguing entry! Love it!
Do you mean beckons?

HUGS!
~Cleo  

[Guest_Cailean_*]

Some great work here! *clap*

Cailean

[Guest_marym_*]

Hi Lindi ...:) I like your verses and enjoyed the on-going discussion which made it more lively.

Keep writing. Mary

[Guest_marym_*]

Wow Artemis... splending poetry. "Virile"... that really hit me. Keep writing. Regards, Mary

[Guest_marym_*]

Hi John, "fortifying our quotient of connectivity."... This line is excellent. It seems detached, yet it strikes me. Regards, Mary

[Guest_Pandora_*]

The beacon spies the ungovernable waters.

Winking to the invited and trespassing on jetted foam.

Those basking and baking lose footing from the slope.

Shallow blackness idles for its time.

Prisoners of comfort plead for relief.


Who of you can chart the mingled sea of the soul?

Hope bridges the sod and sea and tangerine sky.

Fate decided by the diligence of the keeper.

Laura

[Cleo_Serapis]

Who of you can chart the mingled sea of the soul?

Hope bridges the sod and sea and tangerine sky.

Fate decided by the diligence of the keeper.

Laura

Hi Pandora!  

Welcome to another challenge of images from our gallery!

You've responded in style with your fine piece!  

My fav is highlighted in your quote..

Awesome!
~Cleo

[Guest_Pandora_*]

Dear Cleo:

Sorry for the delayed reply! My PC had a melt down and I have been out of the loop for a few weeks. I'm glad you liked the piece! I thought the image was a nice selection. Thanks again for taking a look!

Laura

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi All

Pardon my gibberish. The picture looked abstract and...

Madness' Light

On jagged coast
hovering gray leaks
streaks of mercury
below
schizophrenic
sea rocks
subliminal
hoist
unfriendly cots
maroon wrecked
souls.

On the mend
lone lighthouse
gripping land’s
end
ignites fire
pilots waves dire
unconscious red
soon
blue light of hope
the tangerine sky
aglow.

[Cleo_Serapis]

WOW Tao!



What a great response to the image! Intesting word choices and rhyme schemes!

I am fond of:
gripping land’s
end
ignites fire
pilots waves dire
unconscious red
soon
blue light of hope
aglow
the tangerine sky.


Nice response!
~Cleo :)

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi Cleo,

Thank you very much. I actually forgot the word "hoist" and you saw it before I came back to add it. Yeah, I can do abstract, but would anyone understand?

Tao

[heartsong7]

I hope this challenge is ongoing....I see no recent activity...but here's mine.

Signs

A tangerine sky
hugs a sapphire sea
awakening morning,
She knows immediately,
her captain must take warning
or he and all his crew will surely die
in a perfect storm.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Yes - an onlgoing one Sue. Our members like iamge challenges.

This is wonderful! A vivid image full of colors almost surpassing the image itself!
Well done!
~Cleo :pharoah2

[Guest_Bren_*]

Night approaches
and two sentinels stand watch.
One of craggy,brooding blackness,
the other, a gleaming ivory finger
powdered with just a touch of deep orange;
towering silhouttes set against
a backdrop of low curling evening fog
beneath the tangerine sky.

The slowly sinking molten orb
paints the receding tide,
and in the rock-scattered shallows
retreating wavelets play
in flashes of sun-caught color.
Soon Night will reign supreme
and envelope all;
till Day rides triumphant
once again.

Brenda Ascott Fry

[Cleo_Serapis]

What a beautiful addition Bren!

I admire this line the most:
The slowly sinking molten orb
paints the receding tide,

Well done!
~Cleo  

[Blank_Canvas]

Imprints

The lonely lighthouse sentinel-
An imposing feature atop isolated clifftops.
It stands guard over white capped waters
and craggy, barren coastlines;
neglected and forgotten over time,
outdated by man's technology.

The tangerine sky of dawn-
An eerie reminder of stormy nights
when blood stained the waters red.
Mariners lost their struggle with the sea
to be crushed upon the hidden outcroppings,
drowned in the violent surge of sea,
buried in the mysterious depths......
all in the shadow of the watch tower's beam.

Moans and cries now echo hauntingly in the wind.
Ghostlights glow from the abandoned spotlight
as it continues to warn of eminent danger.
Vintage ships forever sail the desolate waters
disappearing into the spray and fog-
in search of lives lost.
Imprinted memories of the past....
Never finding the way home.

2005 Marcia

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hello Macia and welcome back to MM!

I love your entire piece! It speaks of long lost beacons whose light never dims.

I love the ending too:

Vintage ships forever sail the desolate waters
disappearing into the spray and fog-
in search of lives lost.
Imprinted memories of the past....
Never finding the way home.


A bit sad - but written very well! :pharoah2

Cheers!
~Cleo

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Marcia,

Welcome back from me, too! New name I think as well?

Some interesting and really good phrases to your response - muchly enjoyed thank you.

As Lori says, well-written sadness. That last line is really powerful.

Thanks for the read.

J.

[Guest_Jox_*]

This challenge MUST be the longest-running on MM (almost two years old). Many members will not have had the opportunity of doing it (well, ok it's been there but maybe not very obvious) So if anyone wants a go?

I've thought about it but can't quite "get" it yet. Will try if I can.

J.

[Cleo_Serapis]

I don't believe I've written a response to this one yet myself!

One of these days (my latest motto)! Shock

~Cleo

[Blank_Canvas]

Thanks Lori & James for the welcome back.....makes me feel very nice. I have missed many things about MM, but especially you people who seem like old friends. This is the first poem submitted in many many months. Have written very few since being away. I appreciate your comments and am glad you found it enjoyable to read. So glad you stopped by to read and voice your thoughts.~ smile ~ Thought I would start out with a few challenges, as having guidelines and visuals to inspire me often gets me motivated and the creative urges flowing. This was fun....felt very good to write something original again.
And, yes, Lori was kind enough to accomodate my name change. Have been considering it for some time. Don't mean to confuse everyone...it just seems a better fit for me.
                                   Thanks, guys....
                                     Marcia

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Marcia

Well done with this challenge, a very moving poem.  I could see the ghostly shadows of old ships and hear the moans and cries, feel the eerie atmosphere you depict.

I agree with James about the last line, it is very powerful.

I'm glad you found inspiration from this.  I hadn't seen this challenge before.  It is an interesting picture.  I may have a go at it myself.

I hope we see many more of your poetry on the board.  I didn't know your old screen name so I'm not confused.  Good you see you back on here and I look forward to interacting with you some more.

Nina

[Blank_Canvas]

Nina,
    Thanks for commenting on my first attempt upon returning. Glad you found it had some praiseworthy attributes. Do so appreciate the encouragement friends offer here.....
     My former screen name was nubian healer. Came up with that in the beginning when a lot of historical references were popular. I am a former nurse, hence the healer......
     I am a gemini, and I favor change and variety.....I just found a title that fit me better and ties in with my quote on the bottom of my postings. Making a new start and starting out with a fresh attitude and a new name. Can't change the person within much, but I'm trying to make a few changes in her, too ! ~laugh~
                                            Marcia  

Do give this challenge a try.....one photo can impact each person in a totally different way and the poems can become as varied as the people themselves. Hear that Lori and James? What's holding you guys back ?  Do Bren and I have to do all the work around here ?   ~just teasing~

[Cleo_Serapis]

Tee hee!

Now Marcia, everyone knows that it takes me at least a month AFTER I promise to do something that i actually do it. :p Thanks for whipping me into the spirit though! I've got this one, Grace's train image challenge and the Sept Pandora to do. Nd I mustn't forget the snowball fight! WHIPPPEEEEE!

I'll be there real soon!
Cheers
~Cleo

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Marcia

Thanks for telling me what your screen name was.  A change can be good thing quite cleansing.  I'm a scorpio.  I'll have a look at the picture and if it inspires me, I may write something.

Nina

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Twilight’s Last Gleam

Lone citadel on peninsulas fingery point,
light flows both ways in the tangerine sky.
Neon artistry pierced by a slow circle of yellow-white,
at times fog enshrouded your groaning echoes
from the rocks and the low scudding clouds.

Barnacled encrusted cliffs cut the rolls
of overrated vapors in twain.
A lone sea Tern cries out his disgust at being
roused at early dusk.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Steve.

What a fab response to this image!  

Some of your phrases like Lone citadel, fog enshrouded and lone sea Tern really mark the title of your piece well - last gleam.

I enjoyed this one!

Cheers.
Cleo  

[Blank_Canvas]

Steve,
Am just reading this, but I must echo Lori and say this was a wonderful response. Your lines evoke images and are beautifully written.
Marcia

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

I wanted to post this before reading and posting to the others.


The Devil's Lighthouse

Some say it is a legend,
others see only a curse.
To me it is a story,
to share with you in this verse.

Upon the eve of summer,
beneath a tangerine sky,
come vessels for the slaughter,
for here is where they will die.

It’s called the Devil’s Lighthouse,
this tower that holds the sea.
It’s light guides every sailor
to where their last breath will be.

“Come to me blue-jackets all,
follow the warmth of my glow.”
The song is quite deceiving
for beams hide the rocks below.

As the sky fades to twilight,
if you be a passer by,
you’ll only see the splinters
and hear the skeletal cries.

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hi Steve

You have so much vivid imagery woven within this poem. You covered the aspects of strength, beauty, mystery, time, and humor most amazingly. Huzzah!

[Guest_shaggy breeks_*]

hello my names james
Im about four years old and i love living with my daddy in the lighthouse, he makes me so proud because i know that know one will hit the shallow end of the sea because my daddy has turned the lights on for them.

The other day mum went to the post office just down the road and she saw a really fun magazine that she said would really squeeze my creative juices.

I was a little confused when she said that becasue i checked and i couldnt find any creative juices in me at all. perhaps she got her words muddled up.

When she got home she put on a cd, she says this is what makes my creative juices flow. She sat down at the piano and played along with it. I watched for ages and ages but she didnt even look a little bit juicy at all. In the end i turned to my magazine, atleast that wont make my head go blurry.

I was so wrong! On the front where super specs they say it can make you see 3d, i dont think id ever seen 3d before so i was really exited. As i put them on the whole world went funny, my mum turned green and the fruit in the fruit bowl where all the wrong colour. I ran to my mum and told her that these glasses make everything the wrong colour but she was too busy singing about tangerine skies with mr beatles.

In desparate need of answers i ran up and up, and then up about another 100 trillion times to my daddy who was going to be turning our big night light on soon. I got to the top and the sight that greeted me was so pretty. The waves had orange riding on them like surfer people and the rocks werent brown anymore they where black, just like my mums piano but less shiny. that wasnt the best bit though, up in the sky shining through the clouds which where red was a sky just like the words in my mums song.

The tangerine sky!

[Cleo_Serapis]

Tee hee!

A very creative response (despite what your 'narrator' might say). Welcome to Pandora's Chaos!

Enjoyed!

~Cleo

[wordsart]

Hope this is right ? Not sure if I shoudl use reply or new topic?

I posted in the wrong place initially.

Tangerine Sky Song

The tangerine sky crept over last Tuesday
as I picked my way through the rocks.
you said good bye on that purple and blue day
and left me to ponder the flocks
of sea birds who gathered to watch your departing
under a crepusculed sky, where it seems,
the lighthouse and I have each played our part in
crushing my tangerine dreams.
The turquoise rock pools and the dark chocolate sands
will weep with me 'til they are dry.
How I yearn to see you return to me
under the tangerine sky.

Feb 10th 2007

[Larry]

Misconception

A boiling, caustic sea ascends in blue-grey clouds
to quench, appease an angry fire, insane rainbow,
from palette of humanity’s insanities;
a blow.

Accusing finger’s bones ignite, through white hot shrouds
of melting skin, point to a planetary glow.
Conception of man’s esoteric vanities
will grow

into a beacon; candle in the stellar crowds.
Extinction… as the tangerine sky’s garish show
reflect death’s mushroom colors; grotesque fantasy’s
shadow.

My apology is offered, in advance, to the artist who created this vibrantly colored painting of a lighthouse by the ocean.
My first impression stayed with me and I could think of nothing else but "a moment" depicting the impending result of a neuclear holocaust.
That is why I titled the poem as I did.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Why hello wordsart!

Sorry fot not seeing this sooner - yes, this is the correct place to reply for this particular challenge. I enjoed your
Tangerine Sky Song response! It starts so sincere then whoops, turns to the crushing realization of the parting of the couple. Not sure if this is 'death' or something else, but that's how I interpret it. Well done with soft rhymes and a brilliant message.

Enjoyed!
~Cleo


Hello Larry!

Thanks for the reminder to visit this thread!

What a fab opening to your response, filled with wonderful inner rhymes and imagery! I love the visual of an insane rainbow and it being a palette of humanity’s insanities - AWESOME!!!! Great lead in to the thoughts of the Haulocast and those horrific events.

S2 keeps the inner rhymes and theme of such despair going smoothly and distinctly - a bit gross but poignantly worded.

S3 - a great follow through and new twist on the utter toil of death and devastation that insane, sick, twisted man Hitler wrought. I think you could make this poem even stronger and more violent if you should choose to further this along.

Enjoyed the read and the message!
~Cleo

[Larry]

Lori,
You picked up on the "Hitler" nuance but didn't get the follow-through into the total extinction of mankind and the self destruction of a nuclear holocaust and the making of a "new" candle among the brighter stars of the universe. That is, of course, what would/will happen if all the nations' bombs went Ka-blooie. I am glad you liked the poem and await your "long promised" addition to this particular challenge.

Larry

[Cleo_Serapis]

Ok Larry,

You asked for it, LOL - so here it is..

Aftermath

The world screams unto deaf ears…

A bronzed-tangerine sky
envelops crystal-blue eyes
that no longer yearn to see.

In a sea of climacteric tears,
she weeps --
questioning why the Existence
she once recognized
has withdrawn itself.

No more do Sun and Moon rise
to glorify new beginnings!
Today, they hide from truth.
Their purpose…
untold;
misplaced to evolution.

Once the vapors clear,
she will open her eyes
to light the way to fresh starts,
but for what or whom,
she cannot say with certainty.


_{Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 29 Mar 08}


This idea came from watching a tv program recently called 'Aftermath' intended to show how the earth will change if all humans are wiped off it. A great show!

[Larry]

Hey Lori,

A very nice prosaic summation of the bitter end to which mankind is rushing. I have only one small nit (if nit's are allowed in this forum).

You split the "Tangerine Sky" with bronze. You could have said "A bronzed tangerine sky" to maintain the directive for this challenge.

Otherwise, I loved your addition to this thread (finally).

Larry

[Cleo_Serapis]

HI Larry - thanks so much!

Sure, one can offer advice here, but remember it's not an official crit forum. I have posted this for crtis however, in Seren's here: http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=11976 and have made some changes which I'm not certain are better or worse, lol!

If you'd be so kind, I'd enjoy hearing your thoughts on it.

Thanks so much! Hope to post some responses, but am straight out at work for the past two weeks plus next four on that ongoing project...

Take care,
Lori

[Cleo_Serapis]

haiku

Bright tangerine sky
gleams demise of the tempest
sailor’s paradise

[Keith Logan]

Around the same time this challenge was posted here (or earlier), I had only recently discovered poetry sites and started writing. On the other website where this challenge was made (unrestricted in any way), I had just been severely criticized for using two words ending in -ing in a dramatic piece. This dreadful fau-pas required an act of contrition. I wrote the poem below.

Lighthouse

Waves keep coming, crashing, clashing;
water's running, rippling splashing
against the lighthouse rock still dashing,
as undulations breaking, smashing
on the shore.

While the autumn sun's descending,
colours, tints and hues are blending,
to tall lighthouse now is lending
defiant spirit, strong unbending
at its core.

Let her light continue beaming,
steadfast 'gainst the ocean's scheming;
great ships in streams yet steaming,
passengers in carefree dreaming
pass the door.

By the brightest signal waving,
darkest sky is now engraving;
souls of floating masses saving
whom the elements are braving,
ever more

To fit in with the limits of this challenge, I would have needed to do something with the second verse to include "The tangerine sky" maybe...

The tangerine sky with blues blending,
as the autumn sun's descending,
to tall lighthouse now is lending
defiant spirit, strong unbending
at its core.

the happy chappy

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hey Keith,

What a nice response! I do not view having a poem with lines ending in 'ing' (present participles) as a fau-pas. I'm sorry you were chastised for using them - I rather like this piece!! Not sure what site that was, as this is my challenge (and image) and I didn't post it anywhere else, so someone must have pinched it. What was that poem you wrote (if you would share)?

Keep at it - maybe even post this in Herme's or the non crit forum here for comments.

Enjoyed the read!
~Cleo

[Keith Logan]

Hi Lori,

The above poem was the one I posted at the time.

I can't help identify the site though, I drifted in and out of at least half a dozen over a 4 or 5 year period.

I initially started writing poetry because my physical problems affected my concentration and I had to give up reading altogether. It was my way of trying to keep the brain active. There was something in the rhythm, that allowed me to even comment on other people's verses.

As to posting to non crit. forums, nay I'd rather have honest feedback.

Keith, the happy chappy