Musical Seduction :sunny: Options

[Guest_Nina_*]

Musical Seduction   (revised)

Crystal-pure notes,
filtered on zephyrs,
swirl through
sun-dappled trees.

Mesmerising melody
entices me, unresisting,
into forest’s secret glade.

Tendrils of harmony
coil around my being;
draw me into your arms;
weave a shared destiny.

As music spins enchantment,
we spiral upwards:
an inter-twined,
shimmering presence,
whirling into infinity.




----------------------------
Musical Seduction (original)

Crystal-pure notes,
carried on the breeze,
swirl through
sun-dappled trees.

Mesmerising melody
entices me, unresisting,
into forest’s secret glade.

Tendrils of harmony
coil around my being;
draw me into your arms;
weave a shared destiny.

As music spins enchantment,
we spiral upwards:
an inter-twined,
shimmering presence,
whirling into infinity.

© Nina  2006

Nina

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Nina,

carried on the breeze, (Cliche - and rhymes with "trees")

Mesmerising melody (Good allit)
into forest’s secret glade. (v evocative)

coil around my being; (v clever)

Nina, this is a very romantic piece which uses clever woodland metaphores - it reminds me that Shakespeare set romances in forests.

I could pick almost any line for singling-out as very well written etc - but have highlighted just a few.

A most enjoyable read, thank you.

J.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi J

>J>carried on the breeze, (Cliche - and rhymes with "trees")

Is it?  Ok will change it.  Hadn't noticed the rhyme

>J>Nina, this is a very romantic piece which uses clever woodland metaphores - it reminds me that Shakespeare set romances in forests.

Thanks.  I hadn't thought about Shakespeare's romances in forests but you're right he did that in Midsummer Night's Dream. I wanted to capture a dreamy magical feeling in the woodland.

>J>I could pick almost any line for singling-out as very well written etc - but have highlighted just a few.

thanks muchly.

>J>A most enjoyable read, thank you.

I'm chuffed you enjoyed it so.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Nina

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Nina  a very fine sparkling wine of a poem, a musical gambit with forest overtones that fall into place like magic...good form and great write...
Steve

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Steve

Thanks very much, I'm pleased you enjoyed the read.

Nina

[Eisa]

Crystal-pure notes,
filtered on zephyrs,
swirl through
sun-dappled trees.

Mesmerising melody
entices me, unresisting,
into forest’s secret glade.

Tendrils of harmony
coil around my being;
draw me into your arms;
weave a shared destiny.

As music spins enchantment,
we spiral upwards:
an inter-twined,
shimmering presence,
whirling into infinity.

This is very romantic Nina. I enjoyed every line.

filtered on zephyrs,

I love your revision of this line.

Mesmerising melody

Nice alliteration here.

Tendrils of harmony
coil around my being;

Very romantic

I like the spinning/spiralling theme of the last verse and intertwined being reminiscent of the tendtils in the previous stanza.

Great read

Snow

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Snow

Thanks for popping in here to read.  I'm pleased you love the revision I made.

>S>This is very romantic Nina. I enjoyed every line.

Thank you very much.  I thought it about time I wrote something a little more cheerful for a change.

Thanks for your comments

Nina

[Psyche]

Hi Nina !  :lovie:

This is so magical and romantic ! Delicately written, with wonderful images of nature and love interwoven. The musical background makes it even more beautiful. I can imagine the scene, a figure drifting up to meet her lover, the two of them joined in infinity.... metaphorical, maybe, but I like to think it's about real feelings, Nina.

Here again, of course, it could be a picture of death in her nicer aspects. After all, many a time death has been described as shining light, music, a person spiraling up to meet the loved ones that went before, and so on... An altogether lovely poem.

Hugs,
Sylvia  :butterfly:

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Sylvia

>S>This is so magical and romantic ! Delicately written, with wonderful images of nature and love interwoven. The musical background makes it even more beautiful.

Thank you very much.


There were several images in my head, partly metaphorical, partly fantasy and partly the couple coming together sexually and spiralling to a climax.


>S>Here again, of course, it could be a picture of death in her nicer aspects. After all, many a time death has been described as shining light, music, a person spiraling up to meet the loved ones that went before, and so on... An altogether lovely poem.

It is interesting you should mention death. The notion did flit through my mind (I can't resist the dark side, lol), though I hadn't considered spiralling to meet loved ones who have already died.

Thanks very much for your thoughtful comments, much appreciated.

Nina

[Cyn]

how did I miss this one of yours?
I do like this one quite a bit Nina, your to zephyrs is great. I too readf in a death metaphor, interesting.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Cyn

>C>how did I miss this one of yours?

not to worry, you've found it now.

>C>I do like this one quite a bit Nina, your to zephyrs is great. I too readf in a death metaphor, interesting.

thank you.  I'm glad you like the change to zephrs.  It is interesting that you also see the death metaphor.

Thanks for reading.

Nina

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Nina.

What a lovely melody on the melody of a seduction. You've certainly drwn me into your rhythms here.  :lovie:

This is simply beautiful!  :cloud9:

Crystal-pure notes,
filtered on zephyrs,
swirl through
sun-dappled trees.
Love this opening - puts me visually into a crisp outdoor setting where breezes blow.

Mesmerising melody
entices me, unresisting,
into forest’s secret glade.
My only nit here is the singular: melody - I want to say "melodies" entice me - the idea of a secret place is very calming.

Tendrils of harmony
coil around my being;
draw me into your arms;
weave a shared destiny.
This is so beautiful - each word draws to the next and visa vie. "coil around my being - cool!  :hsdance:

As music spins enchantment,
we spiral upwards:
an inter-twined,
shimmering presence,
whirling into infinity.
a very strong, succinct and beautious end!

Wish I could stay in this magical place a tad longer.
A beauty Nina!  :cloud9:

~Cleo  :rose:

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Lori

thanks so much.  I'm chuffed you found it so magical and beautiful.

Nina

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Hi Nina,

I don't know how I missed this but I'm glad I found it!  I love it!  The dreamy, fantasy aura is lovely and sensual.

Crystal-pure notes,
filtered on zephyrs,
swirl through
sun-dappled trees.

I think I like these lines the best!  lol  I can see the little notes drifting around on soft winds, in and out of the leaves as though they are playing!  I love the picture it brings to my mind.  

Thanks for sharing!

Cathy

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Cat

>C>I don't know how I missed this but I'm glad I found it!  I love it!  The dreamy, fantasy aura is lovely and sensual.

I'm glad you found your way here eventually and I'm delighted you love it so.

Crystal-pure notes,
filtered on zephyrs,
swirl through
sun-dappled trees.

>C>I think I like these lines the best!  lol  I can see the little notes drifting around on soft winds, in and out of the leaves as though they are playing!  I love the picture it brings to my mind.

Thank you.  :)  

>C>Thanks for sharing!

and thank you for reading and commenting

Nina

[Siren]

Excellent imagery here Nina,

I'll be back with a more thorough comment.

Hugs
Night
Dani

[Guest_Nina_*]

Thanks Dani

I look forward to your comments.

Nina