Around the Day in 8 Worlds Options

[Guest_Tao_*]

Around the Day in 8 Worlds

Po,
daystar thaws into his fluid bed
as hula skirts brush sandy flames,
milling over buried dinner in salt air.

Night,
roos roost ‘round rusty Rock,
a late snack, neatly stacked three-layer cake
sliced in half by her fall.

Yiea,
moonlit child snuffs out the pyre
in his dragon-head paper lamp,
wishing upon himself in her Shanghai.

Notte,
sailor-tailored boatman ushers in
his last fare, the engaged travelers,
in his Venetian gondola.

Nacht,
music is played in minuet,
closing stanza of Black Forest finale,
to echoing applause on Salzburg’s banks.

Nui,
erects the Eiffel in luminescence
under slippery beret on the artist’s easel
with each homesick tug of accordion.

Noche,
cascading rosa petals from
flamenco dancer pluck solitary guitar
while she spirals to warm her dress.

Oiche,
tallies Druid’s telling annulus
the light of another day in an
almanac of timeless moments.

And she speeds, across the Atlantic
over sunken Atlantis,
forever a step behind,
chasing his wake.

All but the last stanza starts with the local word for "night."

[Ephiny]

Hi David  :wave:

This is magnificent!!!  What a way to celebrate the night..I just love it!  You have not only used the words..but brought in such delicious descriptions of each place that you used, can't decide on my favourite but perhaps it is

Yiea,
moonlit child snuffs out the pyre
in his dragon-head paper lamp,
wishing upon himself in her Shanghai.  So beautiful


Also love this erects the Eiffel in luminescence because I've seen this and it's exactly what happens!  And the Venice one..I think they're all really well done

I also think that the end is excellent, particularly "sunken Atlantis"..adds quite a timeless and magical element..which of course is what we love about night time!!

Brilliant work  :dance:

[Guest_Tao_*]

Whoopee!  :sings:  I'm tickled you enjoyed the trip around the world, Lucie.

I had wanted to add more countries from other continents, but I think eight is enough...for now! The sad thing is though, I've only been to one of those places in real life, the rest were booked through the travel agency of the imagination. Gives new meaning to cheaptickets.com!

Michael Palin (sp) of Monty Python fame recently did a documentary series where he followed Hemmingway's globe trotting footsteps - most inspiring and amusing!

Thanks for the read and your wonderful comments.

David

[Cybele]

Good Morning David,  

Another "David" original. Loved the trip!

I also thought this stanza was great

Yiea,
moonlit child snuffs out the pyre
in his dragon-head paper lamp,
wishing upon himself in her Shanghai.

But the title  - shouldn't that be Around the Night in 8 Worlds ??  :lol:

BTW Michael Palin has recently traversed the Himalayas and the programme has just started on the BBC. Very absorbing stuff!!

Love

Grace

[JustDaniel]

... or Around the Night in Eight wee Words

... or even Around the Word in Eight e-Nights

[Guest_Brahms_*]

Tao, your written talent has visitors of this
group remember the fun diversity of creativity.
I appreciate this journey of yours,

Stephen

[Guest_Tao_*]

Good Morning Grace and Daniel,

Thank you both for visiting. And thank you for your title suggestions, most ingenious !

Around the Night in Eight wee Words – good one, Daniel!

I’ll provide my reason for using Around the Day in the title. See if that makes sense to you?

I didn’t want to mention “night” again in the title or within each stanza since the word was already being used to create a repeating structure.

Obviously, night is “her” throughout this piece. But there is one more actor in this play, though not mentioned until the last line of the last stanza. The night follows her opposite – him – daylight, thus chasing his “wake.” The two of them combined, and going around the world once, is “a day.” I was going to call it “Night and Seek” as the lovers speed from east to west (as told by the scenes) in a never-ending pursuit. Around the Day also describes the plight of night, revolving around her lover.

Hope that makes sense. I did it again, Grace, like that Thunder piece, or Moon to Her Lover. Thank you both, very much.

David :)

p.s. Grace, love Palin, such a hoot! You Brits put out some terrific documentaries. I love David Attenborough's (sp) nature series too.

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi Stephen,

Glad you enjoyed the ride. You're welcome to hop aboard anytime and take us on a journey of your own. Shall we look for another summary of the debate from you tonight?

David

[Psyche]

Hi Tao !!
Simply love this moonlit trip around daylight !! How original, how brilliant, how beautifully worded. How heliocentric, too !!  :sun: Reminds one that we're NOT at the hub of the Universe... but we can board your Ship of Night and enjoy all those marvels... wow !!
Of course I picked out "noche" for myself, even tho' flamenco is Spanish not Argentine. Maybe u could write a little extra stanza with tango included?! A poscript !!  :)

Noche,
cascading rosa petals from
flamenco dancer pluck solitary guitar
while she spirals to warm her dress.

I like the Italian one, too:

Notte,
sailor-tailored boatman ushers in
his last fare, the engaged travelers,
in his Venetian gondola.

but then i've always been partial to gondolieri, i'm fatally hooked on this one, David...

Marvellous piece, so glad u posted it, keep them coming  :kitty: purring.....
Hugs, Psyche

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hola Psyche,

Es mi placer que te gusta esta musica noche pequena!

I'm afraid I skipped the entire New World but did stop in Espana. I started off heading west in the Pacific and ended by crossing the Atlantic. I figure I also missed the Middle East and Africa, in fact this is a bit Euro-centric as well as heliocentric. There's that academic vocabulary of yours!

The "philosophe" that you are, you're most perceptive with the meanings of this piece. BTW, I ventured another guess at the meanings behind your Scattering Ashes. Am I getting warmer?

Why, I can dedicate an entire piece to South America, or tango alone!

Hugs tambien...
David

[Cleo_Serapis]

Just a quick "hello" from Vegas David!

I feel as though we've been complimenting your piece here as we've been around the ??? in almost 8 days too!

Let's see:
There's the Venetian, Bellagio, Caesar's Palace, Luxor, Imperial Palace, Excaliber, New York, New York and Aladdin all in a day's walk! Cool!

Seriously, what a clever piece that I look forward to reading and critiquing when we return home....


~Cleo

[Aphrodite]

Hello David~

This is absolutely exquisite and your words are as breathtaking as the journey you take us on!

What an imaginative ride!

Blessings~
Lindi

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi Cleo,

I thought you were home already. I logged on early this morning and you were already there, posting a new Pandora's challenge and making replies! But then, New York is not the only place where they never sleep. What's the tag line for Vegas? What happens here stays here. I was told that by my manager once upon a business trip - after hours.

Sounds like you're having fun in Sin City, er, the adult playground of the world as they call it. Boy, talk about around the roulette wheel in 8 shades of emotion!

David

[Guest_Tao_*]

Dear Lindi,

Your most welcome comments are as delicate and expressive as the standard you've set for your poetry. Very glad you came along for the ride. I promise: no jetlag from this sojourn! :)

David

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Cleo,

I thought you were home already. I logged on early this morning and you were already there, posting a new Pandora's challenge and making replies! But then, New York is not the only place where they never sleep. What's the tag line for Vegas? What happens here stays here. I was told that by my manager once upon a business trip - after hours.

Sounds like you're having fun in Sin City, er, the adult playground of the world as they call it. Boy, talk about around the roulette wheel in 8 shades of emotion!

David

David!

Yeah, it's always HARD to adjust to the three hour time delay - seems we keep waking up at 4, thinking it's 7?  

One more day and we'll be home tomorrow night..

Ummmm - tag lines for Vegas:

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas is THE tag line..

We have some others:

Dreams stay dreams

Where dreams are nightmares in disguise

Lost Wages

Travel the World in a day  

Showgirls and more......  

Don't bet the farm on that machine!

Sports book is fun to watch! and we did that with the Red Sox yesterday - GO SOXS! Lot's of Sox fans here amazing to us as Anaheim is right next door practically!  

Tee hee! Anyway - you have to maintain a chipper outlook here and only bring what you can afford to lose, that is our motto. Don't think you're gonna win and you'll be pleasantly surprized when a good hand or spin comes your way! Yesterday was such a day for us - put in a $20, hit a $500 jackpot - COOL!        

ANd that Wheel of Fortune game, NOT!!!!!  

I actually wrote that poem, "My Name is Grace" in Homer's somewhere from our last trip here - the sadder side of the city....
Anyway - sorry for taking up too much of your thread..

Cheers!
~Cleo  

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hi Cleo,

Try going to Hawaii! You're in the last time zone in the US, other than Guam I think, and six hours behind the East Coast. What I liked was there's no daylight saving time there, never have to change your clocks. Of course, it got a little messy when the rest of the nation did. People can't figure out if you're two, three, five or six hours behind.

Showgirls? That's our territory!  :speechless: But Lost wages is right! Congratulations on your big win!  :sings: Hey, if you can win back your travel and hotel costs, you're way ahead.

David

[Guest_Zeus˛_*]

David,
plus all the song titles with Night you could have done. Too manyh to print.
Catch the other half of the world in your sequel.
Nitey, Nite.
 :jester:
Larry

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hello Zeus,

Welcome back from your "mini-vacation." I think you're thinking of Stranger in the Night again. Have you ever heard of Stranglers in the Night? The manager in a restaurant where I worked used to sing that as we started dinner shift. Oh yes, song titles...there's at least one poem in those, maybe more. Hmmm...

David