 Stone Lady (change to structure of stanzas), Crit *** |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse  |
 Sep 4 13, 16:18
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#1
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
 Stone Lady (revision 4) Moon spills into his studio, replete with scattered chisels and unhewn rock. His murmurs blend with magnolia rustling in summer's breath. Will he sculpt your tousled waves, caress cool lips into a smile, drape the curve of your breasts? Elegantly fashioned, you pose where bumbles and admirals flit beneath the willow arch entwined with honeysuckle scent. Are you yesterday's love ablaze like floribunda beds, dampened with autumn's melancholic tears? Or perhaps a midnight phantom lured into Morpheus's realm -- your vision cleaved into porphyry. ----------------------------------------------- Stone Lady (rearranged St1&2) Moon spills into his studio, replete with scattered chisels and unhewn rock. His murmurs blend with magnolia rustling in summer's breath. Does he sculpt your tousled waves, caress cool lips into a smile, drape the curve of your breasts? Elegantly fashioned, now you pose where bumbles and admirals flit, beneath the willow arch entwined with honeysuckle scent. You are yesterday's love, ablaze like floribunda beds, dampened now with autumn's melancholic tears. Or perhaps a midnight phantom, lured into Morpheus's realm your image cleaved into porphyry. --------------------------------------- Stone Lady (tweaked) Who fashioned you, elegantly poised where bumbles and admirals flit, beneath the willow arch, entwined with honeysuckle scent? Moon spills into the studio, replete with scattered chisels and unhewn rock. His murmurs blend with magnolia rustling in summer's breath. Does he sculpt your tousled waves, caress cool lips into a smile, drape the curve of your breasts? Maybe you are yesterday's love, ablaze like floribunda beds, dampened now with autumn's melancholic tears. Or perhaps a nightly phantom, you lured him into Morpheus's realm carving your image in his memory. ----------------------------------------- Lady of Stone Who fashioned you, elegantly poised where bumbles and admirals flit? Beneath the willow arch, entwined with honeysuckle scent. Moonlight spills through the window; a studio, replete with scattered chisels and unhewn stone. His murmurs blend with magnolia rustling in summer's breath. Does he sculpt your tousled waves, caress cool lips into a smile, drape the curve of your breasts? Are you yesterday's love, ablaze like beds of scarlet roses, now dampened with the melancholy of autumn's tears? Or are you the nightly phantom that lured him into Morpheus's realm scorching your image into his memory? ·······  ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner            |
  
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Sep 6 13, 02:04
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#2
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 Egyptian  Posts: 399 Joined: 11-April 13 From: Australia - The great Southern Land Member No.: 5,178 Real Name: Maureen Clifford Writer of: Poetry Referred By:arnfinn |
I had to come back to this - I read it yesterday and really liked it - and read it again just now and still really like it - I think it is well crafted and the story line is quite delightful - well done and thank you for sharing this lovely sensitive poem
Cheers Maureen ······· ······· |
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Sep 9 13, 00:51
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#3
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 Ornate Oracle Posts: 10,021 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Lovely poem, Eira. This is my first read. The imagery flows smoothly and I like the lights and shadows in it. A painting... Does this piece refer to a real sculpure, perhaps of somebody famous? I'm dim at 3 a.m., sorry! I'll return to savour it better.  ((hugs)) Syl*** ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner      |
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Sep 13 13, 07:29
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#4
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
This is a beautiful poem. You are still writing such incredible words. A pleasure to read. Bev QUOTE (Eisa @ Sep 4 13, 23:18 )  Lady of Stone Who fashioned you, elegantly poised where bumbles and admirals flit? Beneath the willow arch, entwined with honeysuckle scent. Moonlight spills through the window; a studio, replete with scattered chisels and unhewn stone. His murmurs blend with magnolia rustling in summer's breath. Does he sculpt your tousled waves, caress cool lips into a smile, drape the curve of your breasts? Are you yesterday's love, ablaze like beds of scarlet roses, now dampened with the melancholy of autumn's tears? Or are you the nightly phantom that lured him into Morpheus's realm scorching your image into his memory? ······· ······· |
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Sep 20 13, 18:01
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#5
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Thanks Maureen, I have tweaked this a bit and will post a revision soon.
Eira ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Sep 20 13, 18:06
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#6
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Psyche @ Sep 9 13, 06:51 ) Lovely poem, Eira. This is my first read. The imagery flows smoothly and I like the lights and shadows in it. A painting... Does this piece refer to a real sculpure, perhaps of somebody famous? I'm dim at 3 a.m., sorry! I'll return to savour it better. ((hugs)) Syl*** Hi Syl I have been to a number of Gardens recently and lots of them have a statue of a lady, which is what inspired me to write this. I am tweaking a bit at the moment and will post a revision soon. Hugs Snow 
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Sep 20 13, 18:07
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#7
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Thanks Bev
It's so good to see you here! Come again soon. Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Sep 22 13, 08:59
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#8
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 Egyptian Posts: 327 Joined: 17-May 08 From: San Juan Puerto Rico Member No.: 508 Real Name: Sergio Ortiz Writer of: Poetry |
this is a beautiful poem, I feel like there is not a single words wasted. Excellent job, Snow. Wow Brava!
Sergio ······· ······· |
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Sep 30 13, 16:11
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#9
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (saore @ Sep 22 13, 14:59 ) this is a beautiful poem, I feel like there is not a single words wasted. Excellent job, Snow. Wow Brava! Sergio Thanks Sergio. I have rearranged St1 & 2 - I hope this works for you. Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Oct 22 13, 17:18
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#10
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
A few more tweaks!
Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Oct 23 13, 01:14
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#11
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 10,021 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Hey, Eira, what a good idea to begin your poem with that lovely line "moonlight spills into his studio" and to have used that stanza first. It gives it a more intriguing feeling. Makes one want to know more about the sculptor and his work. Superb difference! Wish I had thought of it myself...LOL...  Hugs,  Syl*** ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Oct 27 13, 10:45
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#12
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Snow,
I love this! Since I am not prolific with free verse, I would change the structure of the stanzas so each thought stands alone, allowing the reader to ponder without necessarily needing to use commas. That is totally up to you of course as you wish. My only nit is the word ‘now’ ’ in S2 & S3. I would delete ‘now’. Is the willow arch entwined with the honeysuckle plant which radiates a sweet perfume? Here is how I would arrange the stanzas, with slight edits for punctuation: Moon spills into his studio replete with scattered chisels and unhewn rock. His murmurs blend with magnolia rustling in summer's breath. Will he sculpt your tousled waves, caress cool lips into a smile, drape the curve of your breasts? Elegantly fashioned, you pose where bumbles and admirals flit beneath the willow arch entwined with honeysuckle’s radiant sweet scent. Are you yesterday's love ablaze like floribunda beds dampened with autumn's melancholic tears? Or perhaps a midnight phantom lured into Morpheus's realm . . . your image cleaved into porphyry. Enjoyed! ~Cleo  ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Oct 27 13, 14:49
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#13
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Egyptian Posts: 327 Joined: 17-May 08 From: San Juan Puerto Rico Member No.: 508 Real Name: Sergio Ortiz Writer of: Poetry |
Your revision works fantastically for me. Great job.
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Oct 28 13, 18:14
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#14
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Psyche @ Oct 23 13, 06:14 ) Hey, Eira, what a good idea to begin your poem with that lovely line "moonlight spills into his studio" and to have used that stanza first. It gives it a more intriguing feeling. Makes one want to know more about the sculptor and his work. Superb difference! Wish I had thought of it myself...LOL... Hugs, Syl*** Thanks Syl - I keep chipping away at this one! LOL! Hugs Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Oct 28 13, 18:17
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#15
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (saore @ Oct 27 13, 19:49 ) Your revision works fantastically for me. Great job. Thanks for your encouragement, Sergio. Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Oct 28 13, 18:21
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#16
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hi Lori,
I have written another revision, based on your suggestions and used most of your ideas. I think it reads better.  Thanks Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Oct 29 13, 12:51
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#17
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Snow!  I like this one!!! ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Nov 18 13, 11:21
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#18
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Snow,
Would you be opposed to this being nominated for the next IBPC? I like it as the subject is original and your word choices are filled with sensory delights! Let me know. ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Nov 19 13, 03:47
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#19
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
QUOTE (Eisa @ Sep 21 13, 01:07 ) Thanks Bev It's so good to see you here! Come again soon. Snow Hello Snow, trying. Life is not the same as it was. But, I am trying to get back into the inspirational mode. I do miss you all. Big hug to you. Bev ······· ······· |
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Nov 19 13, 22:07
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#20
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Egyptian Posts: 399 Joined: 11-April 13 From: Australia - The great Southern Land Member No.: 5,178 Real Name: Maureen Clifford Writer of: Poetry Referred By:arnfinn |
it just keeps getting better - great revision - works perfectly for me
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Nov 20 13, 05:34
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#21
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
Awesome Snow! Hugs. Bev ······· ······· |
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Nov 22 13, 11:44
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#22
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Snow,
 I just nominated this one "officially".  One last thought on these stanzas: Are you yesterday's love, <<< remove comma ablaze like floribunda beds, dampened with autumn's melancholic tears? Or perhaps a midnight phantom, <<< remove comma lured into Morpheus's realm -- your vision cleaved into porphyry. Enjoyed the read again!  ~Cleo
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Nov 22 13, 16:43
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#23
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Nov 18 13, 16:21 ) Hi Snow, Would you be opposed to this being nominated for the next IBPC? I like it as the subject is original and your word choices are filled with sensory delights! Let me know. ~Cleo Hi Lori I seem to have missed this reply. I am happy to be nominated - wow! Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Nov 22 13, 16:49
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#24
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Peterpan @ Nov 19 13, 08:47 ) Hello Snow, trying. Life is not the same as it was. But, I am trying to get back into the inspirational mode. I do miss you all. Big hug to you. Bev Yes, Bev - life is constantly changing. I don't write nearly as much as I used to. Hope you get inspiration soon, I always loved your poetry. Snow ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Nov 22 13, 16:52
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#25
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Maureen @ Nov 20 13, 03:07 ) it just keeps getting better - great revision - works perfectly for me Thanks Maureen! Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Nov 22 13, 16:55
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#26
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Nov 22 13, 16:44 ) Hi Snow, I just nominated this one "officially". One last thought on these stanzas: Are you yesterday's love, <<< remove comma ablaze like floribunda beds, dampened with autumn's melancholic tears? Or perhaps a midnight phantom, <<< remove comma lured into Morpheus's realm -- your vision cleaved into porphyry. Enjoyed the read again! ~Cleo Thanks for nominating this one Lori - made my day! I'll remove those 2 commas now Snow ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Nov 30 13, 00:25
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#27
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 10,021 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
I'm so glad Lori nominated this one for IBPC, Snow!  You've polished it beautifully, it's like a brilliant diamond.  Congrats and best of luck, hugs, Syl***
······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Dec 1 13, 15:03
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#28
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Lots of luck Snow - I've just sent this in for the December comp.
 Cheers, ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Dec 1 13, 23:28
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#29
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 10,021 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
That's great, Lori! I'm seconding Snow's nomination for IBPC!! I wish you the best of luck, Snow Hugs, Syl***
······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Jan 2 14, 18:58
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#30
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Thanks everyone!
Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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