Rictameter, Poetic form exercise Options

[Athena]

A rictameter is short form of poetry, which uses nine lines. The 1st and last lines are the same. The lines are developed by syllable count, which is as follows:


line 1 - 2 syllables - same as line 9
line 2 - 4 syllables
line 3 - 6 syllables
line 4 - 8 syllables
line 5 - 10 syllables
line 6 - 8 syllables
line 7 - 6 syllables
line 8 - 4 syllables
line 9 - 2 syllables - same as line 1

They can be lots of fun when you challenge yourself to use meter and a rhyme scheme, although the poetry form does not insist on either. Have fun!

EXAMPLE:

A Son To His Father

Father
console me now:
Though I stand here a man,
I am but a boy lost beneath
a soldier’s attire...still mourning a loss
I learned to grieve in younger days,
when you were strong and I
was not yet a
father.

EJD

Good Advice

In morn
when  I awoke
I clearly understood
what had been confusing last night.
I had been so ready to disagree ...
Perhaps the docs are all correct
when saying we must sleep
to awake refreshed
in morn?



©  D R Harris - 7 February 2004

Now it's your turn to try one.  C'mon .. they're fun!    

Here's to fun writing,

Athena    

[JustDaniel]

Yes, Dolly, they can be fun...

A muse
will stir ewe up;
it’s faun’d of satyrs too.
Can’t see the forest for the trees?
Well, don’t give up! Acorn is all I knead
to fill or sophic’ly reflect
upon a subject here
attempting to
amuse.

© Daniel J Ricketts 07 Nov 2003

or descriptive...

A rose
slowly opens
delicate fragrances
while petals beautifully unfold,
exposing stemmed sweethearts in ornate urns
yet freely mingling baby's breath
with mature greenery
once fresh waters
arose.

© Daniel J Ricketts 06 April 2003

or dreamily romantic...

Adrift, I Stare Awake

Adrift
I find you here
beside me where you were
when we'd begun to slowly move
our lips, then more, so liquidly until
most quietly you'd slipped upon
me, undulating there
to find my gaze
adrift.

I stare
at ebon eyes
then on inside of you
to find that sweet serenity
I've come to cherish so in fleeting words
we too infrequently have shared
while yearning yet for more,
so here in mist
I stare.

Awake
again with you
amazed how much you love
in ways I'd never dared to dream,
with such capacity and radiant warmth,
a hearth, security and peace
a living, breathing joy
each day when I
awake.

© M Lee Dickens' son 29 April 2003

even haiku-like reflective...

blossom
faded though fair
yet withered of a hope
only yesterday emblazoned
on opulently hued petals, fiery sweet
scents permeating a warm breeze
now stale, acrid, hanging
from a tear-streaked
blossom

© Daniel J Ricketts 22 May 2003

and much more...

but yes, they are fun to write, and they can spawn creativity.  Soooooo... write on!

lovin' deLight, Daniel  

P.S.  What a wonderful first rictameter yours is!  Keep it up, Ms Athena!

[Cleo_Serapis]

Adorning Dawn

Sunrise
wakens creatures
to her sparkling splendors,
casting chaotic stimuli
feeding firmaments of glitter and glee
on cushioned clouds. Dreams dwindle, sleep
struggles unrelenting.
Subservient
sunrise.

© 2004 Lorraine M Kanter

[Athena]

Hi Daniel!!

Heyyy Daniel, no one will ever call YOU stingy!!  Six Rictameters!!!  And all good ... sheeeesssshhh ... and here I think it's a big deal to even write one!!
Most of these are very thought provoking, too, but all are superb!!  Thank you!!

Hi Lori,

That's a wonderful Rictameter!  Hmmmm wonder why I'm the only one to recently "discover" them?  Thank you, Lori, you seem to do everything well that you set your hand to.  Thank you!

Hi Alan,

Thanks for making a monkey of me, my friend!   I really don't remember that other thread.  I'll get busy and move them all in together, methinks.  Thanks for pointing it out to me ... you're so sweet...

Always trying to learn,
Dolly

[AMETHYST]

A rictameter is short form of poetry, which uses nine lines. The 1st and last lines are the same. The lines are developed by syllable count, which is as follows:


line 1 - 2 syllables - same as line 9
line 2 - 4 syllables
line 3 - 6 syllables
line 4 - 8 syllables
line 5 - 10 syllables
line 6 - 8 syllables
line 7 - 6 syllables
line 8 - 4 syllables
line 9 - 2 syllables - same as line 1

They can be lots of fun when you challenge yourself to use meter and a rhyme scheme, although the poetry form does not insist on either. Have fun!

EXAMPLE:

A Son To His Father

Father
console me now:
Though I stand here a man,
I am but a boy lost beneath
a soldier’s attire...still mourning a loss
I learned to grieve in younger days,
when you were strong and I
was not yet a
father.

EJD

HI Liz - just centering this one for ya!
Cleoi

[Cleo_Serapis]

OOhhhh Thanks Liz!

Here's one of mine (remember this one?):

Adorning Dawn

Sunrise
wakens creatures
to her sparkling splendors,
casting chaotic stimuli
to feed firmaments of glitter and glee
on cushioned clouds. Dreams dwindle, sleep
struggles subservient.
Unrelenting
sunrise.

© Lorraine M Kanter 17 April 2003

[AMETHYST]

Here's a new one:


Do you
remember me?
...My blushing cheeks aglow,
the whisper of your soft hello
would kindle my darkest lustful longings
then you'd fly away, come morning.
I miss you once again
so I pretend ~
do you?

Very lovely Liz!

A great example with an aliterative flair!  :love:  

Awesome!
Lori

[AMETHYST]

Nothing Compares

Her heart
at times, is weak.
Compelled by love...she'll seek,
all greater gifts by far, would fail
to please her more than he. As others pale;
when she compares his poetry.
With words, like art, he paints
the canvas of...
her heart.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Nothing Compares

Her heart
at times, is weak.
Compelled by love...she'll seek,
all greater gifts by far, would fail
to please her more than he. As others pale;
when she compares his poetry.
With words, like art, he paints
the canvas of...
her heart.

Absolutely lovely!!!! :tophat:

Cheers!

:love:

We love adding tiles like this pretty one!  :angel:

Thankies!
Luvs!

[Cleo_Serapis]

Chartered Footpaths

Walking
on earthen floor
coursing chartered footpaths,
I veer off track to a place where
heavy burdens relinquish with each step.
Nature's spirited song breathes birth
and harmonizes paths
pioneered by
walking.

[AMETHYST]

That night,
the moon lit sky
in crimson red--had bled
pear shaped tears for her broken heart,
to wash away her pain and mend her faith.
The moon; sole witness of her blush
when she had fell in love
and he slayed her,
that night

[JustDaniel]

Ego
got in his way;
appeared to be the best
at almost everything he tried,
yet always wanted everyone to know.
But who knows, since he disappeared?
Balloon one day ka-boomed!
No queries, Where’d
‘e go?

© Daniel J Ricketts 12 Sept 2003

[Cleo_Serapis]

Ego
got in his way;
appeared to be the best
at almost everything he tried,
yet always wanted everyone to know.
But who knows, since he disappeared?
Balloon one day ka-boomed!
No queries, Where’d
‘e go?

© Daniel J Ricketts 12 Sept 2003

Where is that masked man?  :wall:

Ahhh -so GOOD to see you posting at Mosaic! Please, more more!  :wizard:  :dance:

Cheers!
~Cleo  :pharoah:  :pharoah2  :cloud9:

[Cleo_Serapis]

That night,
the moon lit sky
in crimson red--had bled
pear shaped tears for her broken heart,
to wash away her pain and mend her faith.
The moon; sole witness of her blush
when she had fell in love
and he slayed her,
that night

Ahhhhh Amethyst!  :lovie:

VERY surreal! I love it! You know me, I like (tasteful) controversy!

Well done!

~Cleo  :pharoah:

[JustDaniel]

Well, you asked for it, LorII!

Here's one I've not posted anywhere:

Adrift, I Stare Awake

Adrift
I find you here
beside me where you were
when we'd begun to slowly move
our lips, then more, so liquidly until
most quietly you'd slipped upon
me, undulating there
to find my gaze
adrift.

I stare
at ebon eyes
but on inside of you
to find that sweet serenity
I've come to cherish so in fleeting words
we too infrequently have shared
while yearning yet for more,
so here in mist
I stare.

Awake
again with you
amazed how much you love
in ways I'd never dared to dream,
with such capacity and glowing warmth,
a hearth, security and peace
a living, breathing joy
each day when I
awake.

© M Lee Dickens' son 29 April 2003

[Cleo_Serapis]

Well, you asked for it, LorII!

Here's one I've not posted anywhere:

Adrift, I Stare Awake

Adrift
I find you here
beside me where you were
when we'd begun to slowly move
our lips, then more, so liquidly until
most quietly you'd slipped upon
me, undulating there
to find my gaze
adrift.

I stare
at ebon eyes
but on inside of you
to find that sweet serenity
I've come to cherish so in fleeting words
we too infrequently have shared
while yearning yet for more,
so here in mist
I stare.

Awake
again with you
amazed how much you love
in ways I'd never dared to dream,
with such capacity and glowing warmth,
a hearth, security and peace
a living, breathing joy
each day when I
awake.

© M Lee Dickens' son 29 April 2003

WOW Daniel!

I didn;t know you had sensuality within you to share?!  :huh:  :dance:

Nicely done!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

[JustDaniel]

<font color='#000000'>

WOW Daniel!

I didn;t know you had sensuality within you to share?!    

Nicely done!
~Cleo  

Hmmmm

So you must think Eileen is totally bored, huh?   ???

on Critiquing

Come back
to simply say
that you just don’t concur
or that you’d rather let it stay
as a fleeting moment’s inspiration
now memorialized in words
so sacred that your gut
bellows some crude
comeback.

© Daniel J Ricketts 15 Sept 2003

</font>

[JustDaniel]

[/b]

ORIGINAL

on Critiquing

Come back
to simply say
that you just don’t concur
or that you’d rather let it stay
as a fleeting moment’s inspiration
now memorialized in words
so sacred that your gut
bellows some crude
comeback.

© Daniel J Ricketts 15 Sept 2003

Here's a complete REVISION of the previous post:

Conscentsual Critiquing

Come back
to simply share
how you cannot concur
or that you’d rather let it lie
a fleeting moment’s inspiration gone
somehow memorialized in words
ineffable – your bowels
let out a crude
comeback.

© Daniel J Ricketts 11 Oct 2003

Note:

If  concentual = possessing harmony, accordant

and  consensual = (agreement) existing by consent

then must not conscentsual = ascent toward harmony existing with a distinct air about it ?

[JustDaniel]

<font color='#000000'>And another example of rictameter, since several have been asking about the form:

Back to My Roots

What's wrong?
Would you believe
that I have been depressed?
"But how could you be sad?" you ask.
I've always felt that I must be the best
to ever be worth anything.
How wrong, it seems, I've been!
His love accepts
what's wrong.

All right:
perfectionists
are moved to take control
of all perceived as dangerous;
'survival' comes from doing things just so,
contorting to avoid all hurts.
It never was enough;
I couldn't do
all right.

Holy
means set apart.
none other has this place;
it is reserved for You alone.
There's no one.. no thing... compares with You.
No matter what woos otherwise
I cease to shrink from You;
I give myself
wholly.

Transformed
cannot take place
by coup, or overnight.
There will be struggles, pain ahead.
I must go through them daily, step by step
. . . in place of constant busy-ness,
and then, in brokenness,
just walk with God
transformed.

How deep
should my faith go?
How real is what I've been?
Do I live out what I believe?
"God faithful is, Who brings it all to pass"
. . . not superficiality!
So when God says, "Dive in,"
I'll only ask,
"How deep?"

© Daniel J Ricketts 25 May 2003

</font>

[Cleo_Serapis]

WOW Daniel!

You have a knack for structure poems!  :read:  :lovie:

Come back
to simply share
how you cannot concur
or that you’d rather let it lie
a fleeting moment’s inspiration gone
somehow memorialized in words
ineffable – your bowels
let out a crude
comeback.

   I get the message...

These are wonderful!!!  :pilgrim:  :cloud9:

~Hugs!
Cleo  :pharoah:

[JustDaniel]

Thankies, LorII!

Here's one on a much more serious, reflective note:

potter

reshapes his earth

immersing his spirit

into every nuance of touch

sometimes leaving inexplicable marks

unmerciful wheel spins questions

seemingly pointlessly

who controls this

potter

© Daniel J Ricketts 26 Oct 2003

Held Lightly by gravity, Daniel  

[JustDaniel]

I slept

without a stir

alone in my West Wing;

body’s Law and Order sacked me.

Such News frightened me awake but briefly,

whispering, You’ll doze off Tonight.

Good knight woke me this morn

offering a toast;

ice leapt.

© Daniel J Ricketts 06 Nov 2003

[Cleo_Serapis]

You are very clever and original with these Daniel!

Love 'em all!  :cheer:  :sings:  :wave:

Hugarooos!
~Cleo  :lovie:

[JustDaniel]

You are very clever and original with these Daniel!

Love 'em all!      

Hugarooos!
~Cleo  

Thankies, Ms Cleo!  I miss our occasional early morning exchanges... but alas I just am not around much for awile!  Waaaaaaaa!

Blossom
faded though fair
yet withered of a hope
only yesterday emblazoned
on opulently hued petals, fiery sweet
scents permeating a warm breeze,
now stale, acrid, hanging
from a tear-streaked
blossom.

© Daniel J Ricketts 22 May 2003

[Cleo_Serapis]

No worries - we're all so busy!

My PC FRIED yesterday at work at 1 PM. Our IS department hasn't been back since! LOL!

So, I am without a pc at work (been using Lindi's in the afternoon). I do HOPE they at least tell me what's up today! I've been SOOOOOO STRESSED at work (ask Lindi) on a project to go live on Monday (big deal at Bose, been the project manager on this one since April) - I finally see the light and POOF  - black screen syndrome! LOL!

At least it's at WORK and not our home pcs.

My advise nevertheless: Back up your data OFTEN!

I spy a poem coming on - my MUSE is stirring!

Catcha later!
Cleo  :pharoah:  :alien:

[JustDaniel]

No worries - we're all so busy!

My PC FRIED yesterday at work at 1 PM. Our IS department hasn't been back since! LOL!

So, I am without a pc at work (been using Lindi's in the afternoon). I do HOPE they at least tell me what's up today! I've been SOOOOOO STRESSED at work (ask Lindi) on a project to go live on Monday (big deal at Bose, been the project manager on this one since April) - I finally see the light and POOF  - black screen syndrome! LOL!

At least it's at WORK and not our home pcs.

My advise nevertheless: Back up your data OFTEN!

I spy a poem coming on - my MUSE is stirring!

Catcha later!
Cleo    

I surely don't want to get your back up, LorII!  So, get your back-up!

A muse

will stir ewe up;

it’s faun’d of satyrs too.

Can’t see the forest for the trees?

Well, don’t give up! Acorn is all I knead

to fill or sophic’ly reflect

upon a subject here

attempting to

amuse.

© Daniel J Ricketts 07 Nov 2003

deLightingly, Daniel  

[JustDaniel]

Death’s Blind Faith


“No Death?”

Eye’d move away

to sense reel  life… apart

from God, who’d better save His Breath.

No guilt… I’d feel exhilaration’s thrill to fly

on eagle’s wing… then realized

too late… without His wind

I’m fallin’… Oh

no! Death.


© Daniel J Ricketts 23 Nov 2003

[Athena]

Capricious March

Blowing
wind carresses
the trees making sea sounds
nudging debris into ravines
completely out of sight, so we're left
beauties of slow arriving spring
one day cool the next warm
one still, next one
blowing

© D R Harris - 12 February 2004

(Well, I'm still new to rictameters ... they'll get better ... I hope)  

[heartsong7]

I was turned on to this form a few days ago. This is my first. Mine will usually have meter and rhyme.

Gardener

Lush lawns
like emeralds
surround a sapphire gem
whereon the windblown ripplets run
and reach as if to capture beams of sun.
The music of the morning has begun.
As songbirds sing for him,
he starts to mow
lush lawns.

[JustDaniel]

Excellent piece, Sue...

please forgive my response:

Guardin’ ‘er

rush in
to lounge upon
his lucioius carpet green
more plush than I have ever seen
then furtively we’ll slip away, dive in
to cool ourselves until that mean
old gard’ner comes to bean
us; watch that fool
rush in

© Daniel J Ricketts 13 July 2004

[heartsong7]

Amazing...How in the world do you do that so quickly...and well?
I'm speechless
with awe,
Sue

[JustDaniel]

rictametric key

the key
to everything
is choosing that first line
anticipating how you'll close;
the rest will come to you, if patiently
you plod along not fearing how
you'll lock the door behind
because you have
the key

© Daniel J Ricketts 13 July 2004

[heartsong7]

Loving
hands caress her,
coaxingly undress her,
and stroke her cheek to still a tear.
While nibbling on the soft lobes of her ear,
he scoops her up and off to bed,
his sweet words in her head
for a night of
loving.

He leaves
before the dawn,
packs up and travels on
and never even says goodbye.
She sees him go but barely bats an eye,
for in the evening every day,
he wanders back her way
before, once more,
he leaves.

[JustDaniel]

Well, young lady, whoever you are...

you have marvellously captured the essence of rictameter.

I bow to your prowess!

deLightingly, Daniel  :sun:

[Guest_Cathy_*]

 Twilight to Dawn        

                                             Twilight
                                     fades with the dawn,
                                  bright yellows and roses
                                ascending o'er the horizon
                            announcing the arrival of new day.
                                 Captive stars in dark night
                                     bring sweet serenity.
                                          Gaze upon
                                            Twilight
                                             

[JustDaniel]

Twilight to Dawn

Twilight
fades with the dawn
of bright yellow and rose
ascending o'er horizon's mourn
announcing arrival of a new day.
This beauty is so different
from night's serenity
with sparkling stars
that lay captive
Twilight

Write Wright

To right
un-centered piece
do not forget that words
like of and the do not belong
as line-ends on a tight rictameter.
Select two sounds you want
to start as well as end
then just proceed
to write.

© MLee Dickens’son 15 Nov 2004

[Guest_Cathy_*]

I've changed it, does it qualify now?  lol

Thanks Daniel for pointing out my oops!  You did miss one though, I had too many lines in the last half!
                                               :jester:
Cathy
         :lovie:

[JustDaniel]

I've changed it, does it qualify now?  lol

Thanks Daniel for pointing out my oops!  You did miss one though, I had too many lines in the last half!
                                               
Cathy
         

Your revision seems pretty good to me... though I've always found it helpful to others reading such a thread as this, to quote the original so that learners can see the progress of our own learning.  That sort of thing always helps me, at least.  (I know we all learn in very different ways.)

And you're quite right; I did not count the syllables or the lines, and you slipped that in on BOTH of us, it seems... but you get the last laugh about your last half!

Those words (not your laughing at me, because I certainly don't sense that!) have mused another rictameter!  Here goes:

a good guffaw

last laugh,
it's said, laughs best
by those who seem to know,
but if it's at someone’s expense
who's not agreed up front to pay the tab,
I've found it much more apropos
to (with some subtlety)
let them have it...
last laugh

© MLee Dickens'son 15 Nov 2004

sLightly deviously, Daniel  

[Cleo_Serapis]

Give thanks
for our blessings
received in bountiful
doses from near and far by friends
who touch all with a cornucopia
of generosity and love
laced with just the right blend
of spice so nice
Give thanks

[Cleo_Serapis]

.
. .
. . .

Snow falls
serenading
whipped cream dollops dancing
in freckled white powdered sugar
sprinkled with a dash of nutmeg spices
glazing picturesque scenery
on marshmallow bi-ways
tinted cocoa
snow falls

. . .
. .
.

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Hi Cleo!

You make snow sound so delicious!  :snowflake:  :snowflake:

Makes me want to run to the kitchen!

Cathy  :cloud9:  :lovie:

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Cleo!

You make snow sound so delicious!    

Makes me want to run to the kitchen!

Cathy    

Tee hee!

Thanks Cathy! I was trying to write about hot cocoa but I will probably write another - it's more like snow methinks.  :snowflake:

Yum yum!
~Cleo  :ornament:

[JustDaniel]

Two yummie ones, Cleo!

common grounds

coffee
freshly brewing
streams anticipation
down at Daniel’s Bagel Parlor
where the clients steep in stimulation
on each other and their palates
Thursday mornings early
complementing
coffee

© Daniel J Ricketts 07 Jan 2004

[JustDaniel]

May we
admire your tower?
. . . one eyeful, so we hear . . .
and could we see your graceful arch?
O might we peek in through the louvers where
we’d blush to view plush nakedness
that friends have said is art?
Greets gay Paris:
Mais oui!

© MLee Dickens’ son 16 Feb 2005

[JustDaniel]

an assignment for a local poetry group for next week, to write a poem using the word "secure":
Secure

seek your
poetic voice
in everything you write
until it seeps out from the page
to whisper softly… shout across the room
in tone that’s unmistakably
no other’s voice but yours
to make your mark
secure

© MLee Dickens’son 26 April 2005

... and another that just occurred to me while talking with an associate at work:

ComPlain

Complain
but wait a while
until it settles down
so you can think the matter through
and figure out a way to make things right
apart from bitterness that could
come blurting out too soon;
with calm, words can
come plain

© Daniel J. Ricketts 26 April 2005

[JustDaniel]

RICTAM’TER


response

in graphic verse

creating diamond shape

to focus reader on one thought

about whatever’s in the poet’s mind

meticulously shaped and phrased


‘til writer’s satisfied

each word is his

response


© Daniel J Ricketts 04 May 2005

[JustDaniel]

HazMatters


Will you

need a placard

saying you’re Explosive ?

that you’re a Hazardous Dump Site ?

Are you prepared to contain your discharges;

get rid of bitterness, anger;

treat all with dignity;

keep a Light on?

Will you?


© Daniel J Ricketts 09 May 2005

[Cleo_Serapis]

Giving


Giving

of yourself is

a courtesy that when

nurtured properly flourishes

in kind, spreading our wills, desires, hopes

amongst the masses intent on

capturing the delights

that is shared by

giving.

[JustDaniel]

Wow... a lot of time has past since you posted this one, Lori...

I guess there isn't much interest in rictameters here, huh?  I simply overlooked it.  Yours in excellent in every way!


Here's one of my recent spate with which I'm reasonably happy:


Slight Revision:

revenge

anticipates

an evening of odd

and even paradoxical

events to find a satisfying end

to all the fire that burns inside

but when the smoke is gone

ash leaves its own

revenge


© MLee Dickens’son 21 Jan 2005

Original L4:  'or even contradictory'

[JustDaniel]

caught up

on wings of words

too sore on feathered wheeze

I rise above my chair, then perch

on Microsoftly down to peer about

perhaps to sharpen taloned fowl

who scratch about below

while we get all

caught up


© MLee Dickens’son 25 Jan 2006

what’d

I think about

on waking up today?

did I remember that His grace

is new each morning even ere the sun

comes shining through the clouds — or not?

will wonder fill my day?

I need my edge

whetted


© MLee Dickens’son 27 Jan 2006

[JustDaniel]

wood wee


would we

call specialist

meaty urologist

after workouts at a health spa?

and would friend be meteorologist

whether or not he’d known whether

we’d have snowy weather today?

we’d not call fat scientist

meatier-ologist

would we?


MLee Dickens’son 09 Dec 2005

[JustDaniel]

critique critic


critique

slowly arrives

or maybe not at all;

I stumble over feedback need.

I think... I think... awry about myself

or maybe I'm just insecure,

but weight excruciates.

Am I my worst

critic?


© MLee Dickens'son 22 Feb 2007

[Cleo_Serapis]

Excellent poem Daniel. I imagine we all feel insecure wiht the critique process and am almost always a tad impatient...

Here's two I just wrote for this weekend's flash stimulus:

Heaven's Caress


Caress
this day and learn
my love for you has grown
beyond measure; you light my nights,
soothe my days and reaffirm commitment.
Without you by my side, surely
I’d not be this person
who yearns for your
caress


Heaven
sent you to me
on this beautiful day
when one kiss sealed our fate’s caress;
Love’s coupled desire of absolute peace.
Your smile assures me “Life is good”.
You understand my needs;
our wedded bliss -
Heaven

© Copyright Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved as an unpublished work

[JustDaniel]

Beautiful expression, Lori, in each of these... and of course I like the fact that you've linked both words in your title. Your corporate piece reminds me of the fact that...

Marriage
is more than words
sealed with a ring and kiss
solemnized, witnessed by good friends
who celebrate with tossed rice and dancing;
it's an hour-by-hour commitment
for hand to share with heart
while both flesh out
marriage

© MLee Dickens'son 26 Feb 2007

[Cleo_Serapis]

Thanks Daniel.

Your response is stunning as well! YOu should check out the Acropolis forum today as this was the flash challenge....

Cheers
~Cleo

[JustDaniel]

Thanks, Lori... I haven't been there for ages. I was a little late, but I posted it anyhow:

flowers
cannot express
the smoke and fire I sense
when heaven brings your face and hands
to share another moment with this man
but my desire to stroke your hair
caress your loving smile
grows as your kiss
flowers

© MLee Dickens'son 26 Feb 2007

[JustDaniel]

sometimes
we have to try
a form we haven't used
for so long we can't remember
even how to form the blessed thing;
but here we are trying again
to write a piece that makes
memorable
some times

[Larry]

Even
numbered lines are
what the doctor ordered
whenever I’m feeling at odds
and am needing a new form to explore.
I believe this one fits the bill
as a mind exercise
I could spend an
eve in.

[JustDaniel]

number
all your fingers
and you'll see they add up
to ten -- if you rename your thumbs
but since those digits are retractable
it really is not such a stretch
and the fingers won't mind
if they're not made
number

[Larry]

playing
this kind of game
can become addictive
as well as limber up the mind
but unlike other narrative formats
the only thing required here is counting
while you are typing up your thoughts,
pecking your keyboard while
some fingers are
playing

[JustDaniel]

pliers
of this format
cannot but find themselves
writing with many syllables
that dance across the page in matching pairs
but occasionally they drink
an errant screwdriver
and they can't use
pliers

[Larry]

first try
and I screw up
by mixing Tetractys
middles with the Rictameter
and duplicating ten syllable lines
instead of double checking forms
so my apologies
are sent for my
first try

[JustDaniel]

To act
as though I am
someone who I am not
involves my lying to myself.
I close my eyes to God, who ever sees,
and think my private life is hid in dark
to Him who watches through the night
and sees as day. It's time
I bare my heart
to act.

[Larry]

Okay Daniel,

Howzit spozed to be?

2,4,6,8,10,8,6,4,2

or

2,4,6,8,10,10,8,6,4,2

You've written it both ways and I'm just starting in this genre. Help!!!

Larry

[JustDaniel]

So sorry to have misled you, Larry. I HAVE written with an extra 10-syllable line several times, it seems, and each time was a MISTAKE!!

I've been working on our property in Vineland with my son, with hopes we'll be able to start moving there in the early summer, so I've been distracted from participating here, coming home from the work there very tired. But I hope to soon catch up again!

Have your heard from Alan? Missing his participation!!

Giving
to those who need
because it comes from God
reminds me that it isn't mine
By grace you have received, so freely give
The love of money is the root
of evil of all kinds
Grace is what spurs
giving

[Larry]

Vineland
is beautiful
so I hope you complete
all your repairs and are able
to start moving before it’s summertime
because by then it will be hot
so you can’t mow the yard
and it looks like
vine land.

[JustDaniel]

To go
where no one's gone
should cause its burial
so followers don't step in it
and wonder what poor soul had squatted here:
Why couldn't he have found some leaves
to cover up the mess
from when he had
to go?

[Larry]

actions
carry more weight
than speeches to spur them.
Anyone can say they will help
but those who pitch in without being asked
will show the world, without saying
that kindness can be mute.
A word without
acts, shuns!

[JustDaniel]

feelings
aren't bad or good
but have connection to
discordant, contradicting thoughts
that need to be talked out with caring friends
to help sort out the person lost
inside some secret fear
that shames those hid
feelings

[Larry]

green leaves
sprouting in spring
give off lots of pollen
causing massive sinus problems
if you happen to have that allergy
but for me, it's not a problem;
I always become sad
whenever the
green leaves

[JustDaniel]

left one
of my clippers
on the hood of my truck
after we'd been trimming our trees
on our new property in North Vineland;
we had all stopped to have the lunch
when the clippers slipped off
stabbing in my
left one

[Larry]

She’s dead
but never fell
because all her children
she had scattered throughout her life
had grown tall and strong. Her leaves had turned brown
and fell to form a soft cushion
for her eventual
resting place where
she's died

[JustDaniel]

What is
the difference
if you simply slack off?
Do most people care any more?
When I was growing up I learned to do
the best I could no matter what
my fellows want to do;
I will show them
what is.

[Larry]

Lacking
the incentive
to change your choice in life
and doing what you want instead
may be satisfying in the present
but in the future we all share
death will come with judgment
and you’ll be found
lacking.

[JustDaniel]

Aw, some
wild black cherries
have fallen in my pool;
each day I have to fish them out
so I may as well use them for something.
First I must remove the large pits;
so far I don't know how,
but once I do...
awesome!

[Larry]

Bings go
in a large pot
of boiling hot water
so as to soften the tough skins.
Then strain and drain and gently press each one.
The large pits should pop out with ease
and hopefully, the smell
of chlorine’s gone.
Bingo!

[JustDaniel]

'Wild' ones
are very small
and they say 'plup' not 'bing'
and there's no chlorine in my pool
except what the salt water system makes.
Some say to use a colander
and press them till the pits
are all that's left--
wild ones.

[Larry]

Wild ones
can be bitter
so it’s best to taste it
before going to the trouble
of removing the pits from sour fruit.
Some varieties are real sweet
and if you have that kind
you will find that
wild won.

[JustDaniel]

I'd ride
to any place
someone may show me how
to take out pits with small effort
but since pits constitute half the wild fruit,
the work it takes to get them out
has caused a little tear
in that sad eye
I dried

[Larry]

I tried
to find answers
to your pit dilemma
and I found a number of things.
A paper clip, a pastry tip and then
a drinking straw; all tedious
and time consuming too.
So, I’d just let
it ride.

[JustDaniel]

We will
not be trying
to use the wild cherries;
as you say, it's too much trouble.
There aren't that many that will be plupping
in our pool now, since most have dropped,
It's a good thing though since
I have such a
wee will.

[Larry]

weak Will
penned his sonnets
until he had enough
to put them all in a book form,
which no one had money to buy and read
so he wrote plays for the masses.
He still could not afford
much ink for his
wee quill

[JustDaniel]

While weak
the old con man
devised plans to defraud
the neighborhood's recent widow
but he could not seem to get her to date
because she saw that he was ill;
he continued trying
but found he had
weak wile.

[Larry]

Wields wok
for Chinese food
while watching the cartoons
but I seldom see folks eating
so I’ve always wondered if they’re hungry.
When that rabbit ever gets shot,
and Bugs will not stay dead;
old Elmer Fudd
wields wok.

[JustDaniel]

Real rocks
cover the bed
of the cold mountain stream
where we come to fish each summer.
Mt. Rainier National Park remains great
for throwing lines in fresh water
but if they're tied to nets
you're likely to
reel rocks.

[Larry]

Real rock
covers the mind
with a blanket of sound
and makes the body want to move
with the spinning rhythm of the music.
Dancing until you get dizzy,
being held by someone
who makes your heart
reel… rocks!

[JustDaniel]

heart-felt
performances
and creations of art
line the history of a child
in the room in which she formerly played
before she was hit by a drunk
driver just off her porch
now covered with
felt hearts

[Larry]

Hey Daniel,
I sure hope that was not fact but just fiction.

Larry

dart felt
much too heavy
for competitive play
but he decided to use it
and won the championship that evening.
Though not an Olympic event
it was satisfying
to know how good
darts felt.

[JustDaniel]

false start
without wheat flour
but the baker moves on
preparing what he has around
then adds his secret fruit ingredients
and pops them in brand new oven;
when they are taken out
his helpers praise
false tart

[Larry]

frogs start
croaking in rain
because they love water;
that is where they all started life.
In South America things are real strange;
frogs can be many bright colors
but you shouldn’t touch them;
people call those
frogs dart.

[JustDaniel]

grog art
is imagined
know-how of mixing up
various liquors and other
strange and exotic ingredients for
a strange-looking intoxicant
used as a punishment;
thou now drunk by
grog art

[Larry]

art blog
is pretentious
when being critical
of what’s considered to be great
because it’s just the writer’s opinion;
without seeing his credentials
or qualifications;
he might not like
Bogart

[JustDaniel]

booger
stuck in his nose
so he poked in a pen
but the thing stubbornly held on;
next he got out his faithful handkerchief
to clean it out, but he blew it.
Finally tried finger
and out it come;
Bugger!

[Larry]

beggar
was too uncouth
when asking for money
but from mercy, I gave him some.
Much like the wife with the lazy husband
who laid around but wanted sex.
She always pitied him
but he had to
beg her.

[JustDaniel]

her bug's
one V. W.
purchased in Germany
and transported here on shipboard;
she was proud of it, or perhaps snooty.
She tended to look down her nose
with her little mirror
so she could find
her bugs

[Larry]

herb rugs
are scented mats
with a nice aroma
but that seems to be a real waste
when so many are used in the kitchen
for cooking and spicing up foods
and may be used in baths
as softening
herb rubs

[JustDaniel]

sub herbs
used by sailors
serving under the sea
to spice up their mundane cuisine;
make such an impression upon them there
that they duffel-bag them away
to save for retirement
for their life in
suburbs

[Larry]

superb
new neighborhood
where we built our dream home
went up in flames from arsonist
who liked all the pretty colors in fires.
The court ruled him to be insane
and our only recourse
wound up being
sue perp

[JustDaniel]

pure soup
made from chicken
cures many illnesses
or at least makes you feel better
even if your are lying on your bed
(where you should be telling the truth
even though what you say
is often just
pure soup)

[Larry]

pure sap
makes good syrup
when it comes from maples
but it must be cooked properly
because high heat turns it to rock candy
making it difficult to pour
on your morning pancakes
so don’t be a
pure sap