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Request, Sonnet from a picture challenge |
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Oct 29 16, 18:18
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,417
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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UNICORN_AND_MOON.jpg ( 322.7K )
Number of downloads: 1Request With great respect he asked once more, “How long must we remain within this realm?” A tear now etched its lonely path; he felt it wrong to dwell where everything which once was dear to creatures such as he. The elf and gnome stayed hidden in dense forest or dark cave while dragons and fierce griffons made their home in lofty mountain holds. None dared to brave the eyes of man. Not so in ancient days when innocence had reigned; all lived in peace and harmony. Mankind had changed their ways and so the Unicorn pled for release. His answer came; “Stay for a little while!” said Luna with her bright familiar smile.
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Oct 30 16, 07:46
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,779
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Greetings, Larry. Another beautiful, touching sonnet, my friend. Excellent use of your enjambment. You certainly utilized it in abundance here! I deeply grieve my not having the time yet to focus on writing, but I'll be back eventually to have you challenge me on again. I only have one nit to suggest to you, as to grammar. In S2L1 I believe your "him" should be "he". If "him" were the direct object of the preposition "to", which it is not, you'd be correct. But I think it's rather "as he (is/was)", if I'm not mistaken. As always, simply take it into consideration or charge on... er, no, stay for awhile! deLightingly, Daniel
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Oct 30 16, 13:42
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,417
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hey Daniel,
Thanks for popping in for a read. Glad you enjoyed. You are, of course, correct in your assessment of my grammatical error. If it is any consolation, I made the mistake when correcting that line which had read, "to creatures just like him" and replaced it with "such as". I was probably grammatically wrong in both instances so thanks for the heads-up. It will be corrected.
Hope you get your house moved and everything set in order. I know it to be a big job from seeing all the people down here who were flooded and had to move or throw away most of their belongings. What a nightmare.
Again, thanks.
Larry
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Oct 30 16, 19:26
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 9,045
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Hi Larry and Daniel,
So glad you moved this sonnet from Acropolis, Larry. You've already benefited from Daniel's grammatical crit! And I've finally found a moment to upload the image that inspired your lovely piece.
It's beautiful from beginning to end. As I said before, I've always been fascinated by unicorns, ever since I was a child. All mythical creatures attract me enormously, even dragons. Maybe a few others are too horrible, best forget about them.
Daniel, it's a surprise to find you here. You've been laboring hard lately. Moving and setting up a new home is exciting, but can be stressful. I wish you all the best!!
I'm off to upload the unicorn in Plato's, I believe Larry posted this stunning sonnet over there as well. Hope so!
Best to all, Syl
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Oct 31 16, 14:58
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,779
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Hey, let me in on what is Plato's!
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Oct 31 16, 15:05
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,417
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Daniel,
You are asking that in jest, correct? If not, Plato's Pearls of Wisdom for poetry exhibition is two doors down from Hermes's Homilies. I try to post there on occasion when I feel I have a finished poem.
Larry
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Nov 1 16, 03:34
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,779
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Actually, I wasn't, so thank you for that pearl of wisdom!
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Nov 1 16, 13:27
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,417
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Daniel,
The reason I said what I did was that I've seen your posts there commenting on other people's work. It has been a long time since you visited; nearly 11 months ago but you don't/didn't visit very often.
You are welcome for the reminder.
Larry
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Feb 18 17, 16:05
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Oh boy! I LOVE this - the image is wonderful (it was my high school mascot)! I wouldn't change a thing! Perhaps I should try this challenge? I'm so rusty, and dealing with my newly broken leg is taking up most of my thought process at present. But I did want to comment that I was here - and enjoyed and again - no nits! ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Read our FLYERS - click below
Reference links provided to aid in fine-tuning
your writings. ENJOY!
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