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> Tanka, 5-7-5-7-7 [or less]
JustDaniel
post Sep 15 06, 11:23
Post #41


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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 20,858
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Note: I'd thought there had been a post on this form earlier, but I could not locate it. If I'm incorrect, please let me know.

Tanka is a Japanese form of poetry of 31 onji; the closest we Americans come to that is to think in terms of 31 syllables. The lines are generally 5,7,5,7,7 syllables in length -- or preferably less -- short-long-short-long-long.

I'm told that the earlier tanka shifted rhythm after the 12th onji; the more modern ones de-emphasize the location of shift or switch after the 17th.

At any rate, here are some of my own attempts, for whatever they may be worth:


Stumbling

Stumbling into growth
may be bloody painful stuff,
but scars remind me
this vulnerability
opens my heart to loving.

© MLee Dickens'son 05 July 2002



Jesus’ Earthy Dad


kept her a virgin
miraculous conception
of Mary’s Joseph
whose union was further blessed:
four sons and unnamed daughters

© MLee Dickens'son12 Dec 2003

- Matthew 1:25; Mark 6:3



annuals vs. perennial


‘lovers’ seek to come
seasoned and with wild bouquet
pretending to root;
a love is but one… who blooms
when planted in nurtured ground

© MLee Dickens'son 18 Dec 2003


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Posts in this topic
- JustDaniel   Tanka   Sep 15 06, 11:23
- - Larry   make a flush and feel that you have a winning hand...   Feb 25 19, 16:27
- - JustDaniel   when four asses land in the four-seater out house ...   Feb 26 19, 02:08
- - Larry   before you are out from swinging bats through the ...   Feb 27 19, 16:08
- - JustDaniel   ball with no cover and everyone will see you do it...   Feb 27 19, 23:58
- - Larry   her privacy gives sufficient time to enjoy the res...   Feb 28 19, 22:38
- - JustDaniel   old age might annoy Lori so she doesn't look d...   Mar 1 19, 10:33
- - Larry   oozes on the page are unctuous platitudes which ma...   Mar 3 19, 14:56
- - JustDaniel   having gratitude is the surest way to peace the wo...   Mar 4 19, 18:16
- - Larry   lost all their marbles when the ruling was announc...   Mar 5 19, 18:01
- - JustDaniel   he said heads would roll and Old MacDonald proved ...   Mar 6 19, 00:39
- - Larry   because it will hold pomade is good for the hair a...   Mar 6 19, 23:11
- - JustDaniel   I don't have enough that would ever make it li...   Mar 7 19, 15:07
- - Larry   that I did not shave is what I hear from my wife ‘...   Mar 10 19, 11:22
- - JustDaniel   I guess that my life is not so complicated my wife...   Mar 15 19, 14:44
- - Larry   it makes me bristle when I walk through the tall g...   Mar 17 19, 16:52
- - JustDaniel   lawnmower needs gas back yard looks like a wheat f...   Mar 18 19, 15:52
- - Larry   head of the owner is now shining and sunburned and...   Mar 21 19, 08:08
- - Larry   now he has learned “but” should not be found at th...   Apr 11 19, 22:12
- - JustDaniel   send an afterthought some time after digesting get...   May 27 19, 06:52
- - Larry   just put up a stink about participation; it’s not ...   May 30 19, 22:25
- - JustDaniel   don't anticipate anything profound from me; ey...   Jun 1 19, 08:14
- - Larry   clean the pool filter after the dog swims around; ...   Jun 4 19, 14:15
- - JustDaniel   scat all over ground where the dog took morning wa...   Jun 7 19, 10:55
- - Larry   pooper scooper use helps in keeping your hands cle...   Jun 10 19, 22:51
- - JustDaniel   smelling out Ob scene were homicide detectives fou...   Jun 28 19, 06:18
- - Larry   policemen checked her on the lighted street corner...   Jul 12 19, 21:51
- - JustDaniel   John caught joinin' 'er ended up in the ho...   Aug 19 19, 14:03
- - Larry   out of the oven for the miner infraction of diggin...   Aug 20 19, 12:42
- - JustDaniel   a large infection found him scratching genitals; h...   Aug 20 19, 21:00
- - Larry   expected bargain when shopping for what’s offered ...   Aug 24 19, 22:36
- - JustDaniel   believe a coffin will never hold your body? need a...   Aug 30 19, 12:41
- - Larry   view that you will die because it happens to all e...   Sep 2 19, 15:07
- - JustDaniel   available gall is shouted in the mean streets gull...   Sep 2 19, 18:10
- - Larry   To adversaries, I would suggest you make peace for...   Sep 12 19, 10:34
- - JustDaniel   will rivalries cease? will the Hatfields and McCoy...   Sep 12 19, 16:49
- - Larry   their line finds a trace of reasoning for the feud...   Sep 19 19, 13:09
- - JustDaniel   someone must be screwed for family's seed to p...   Sep 23 19, 06:15
- - Larry   Feud emerged screaming from the peace which used t...   Oct 11 19, 14:40
- - JustDaniel   unfeigned hatred eliminates guesswork look down th...   Oct 14 19, 07:38
- - Larry   collect from your roof all of the branches and lea...   Nov 13 19, 14:40
- - JustDaniel   in long winter, heave all the snow off your sidewa...   Nov 19 19, 05:25
- - Larry   you can’t walk in springs without getting your fee...   Dec 12 19, 00:02
- - JustDaniel   you'll have feet of clay if you pretend to be ...   Dec 12 19, 04:01
|- - Psyche   QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Dec 12 19, 06:01 ) yo...   Dec 26 19, 11:12
- - JustDaniel   Great to see you visiting in Karnak, Sylvia! ...   Dec 27 19, 23:42
- - Larry   Interspersed with twigs is what's left of my g...   Jul 16 22, 15:31
- - JustDaniel   Your line four is a syllable short for the typical...   Aug 8 22, 08:08
- - Larry   A hunting license requires some prerequisites; the...   Aug 9 22, 18:59
- - JustDaniel   Havin' pain ain't fun nor is an amputation...   Aug 9 22, 23:57
- - Larry   Right leg gets cut off which is a drastic measure ...   Aug 10 22, 17:49
- - JustDaniel   minding our treasure could devolve into hoarding i...   Aug 11 22, 10:04
- - Larry   I haven’t found it because memory’s hazy so I’ll j...   Aug 12 22, 15:51
- - JustDaniel   Ah, a rhyming tanka! Great job, Larry... an...   Aug 12 22, 20:20
- - Larry   Daniel, I had to pause for a while because your Ta...   Aug 13 22, 08:31
- - JustDaniel   she's surely not miffed for it's being use...   Aug 13 22, 12:12
- - Larry   Service now and then is where I should be going fo...   Aug 14 22, 11:03
- - JustDaniel   He bestows blessing even when we're not lookin...   Aug 14 22, 12:42
- - Larry   Looks like it is rhyme time in Tanka town! T...   Aug 14 22, 17:43
- - JustDaniel   chancy on the lake if you don't wear a life ve...   Aug 14 22, 17:56
- - Larry   A funeral fest is normally called a wake but I los...   Aug 14 22, 19:29
- - JustDaniel   must make decision about whether I should rhyme li...   Aug 15 22, 06:13
- - Larry   It takes too much time when he’s getting his hair ...   Aug 15 22, 15:49
- - JustDaniel   drying in the sun drudgery for a raisin being grap...   Aug 18 22, 08:01
- - Larry   It’s blazing on rack so I lowered the grill’s heat...   Aug 18 22, 14:34
- - JustDaniel   Overcooked meat sucks at your summertime cookout ...   Aug 19 22, 03:39
- - Larry   A stout homeowner might consider losing weight if ...   Aug 19 22, 14:06
- - JustDaniel   When your plate's smaller you'll tend to e...   Aug 19 22, 23:45
- - Larry   Each bit will be chewed at least twenty times or m...   Aug 20 22, 10:46
- - JustDaniel   Stomached food hit floor having not been digested ...   Aug 21 22, 07:36
- - Larry   I got congested with the pollen and the rain so I ...   Aug 21 22, 10:20
- - JustDaniel   Covid causes strain when we have to wear a mask Th...   Aug 22 22, 02:35
- - Larry   If you ask to peek do you want to see my face or j...   Aug 22 22, 17:01
- - JustDaniel   It's only by grace that each of us is alive. W...   Aug 24 22, 04:32
- - Larry   We survive to live every moment of each day so don...   Aug 24 22, 15:19
- - JustDaniel   Speaking of that, Larry, would you please read thi...   Aug 25 22, 06:13
- - Larry   You cling to His Word feeling prayer is not enough...   Aug 26 22, 20:45
- - JustDaniel   our fading trouble can be written in rondeau and t...   Aug 28 22, 03:25
- - Larry   Our contest for show and tell is at your behest fo...   Aug 30 22, 15:18
- - JustDaniel   They want what you know because you've shown t...   Aug 30 22, 15:28
- - Larry   Demonstrate their flair with some eclectic rondeau...   Sep 1 22, 23:31
- - JustDaniel   Each of them has grown in editing their rondeaux m...   Sep 2 22, 09:43
- - Larry   Judging will be hard with their Rondeaux of the Fa...   Sep 2 22, 22:42
- - JustDaniel   We threw them the ball and with rondeaux they thre...   Sep 3 22, 00:23
- - Larry   Feedback’s good for them when the rhymes and metri...   Sep 5 22, 07:27
- - JustDaniel   spooning's perfection in loving relationships ...   Sep 5 22, 17:43
- - Larry   For your lips giving a taste of friendship and lov...   Sep 8 22, 11:23
- - JustDaniel   through your sole it flew that nail sticking from ...   Sep 9 22, 18:30
- - Larry   Explore nurse’s feet like podiatrists might do whe...   Sep 10 22, 10:14
- - JustDaniel   a sensible shoe doesn't help my phantom foot i...   Oct 9 22, 17:38
- - Larry   All medications have many a side effect so expecta...   Oct 10 22, 09:01
- - JustDaniel   neglecting your meds can result in side effects dr...   Oct 10 22, 15:32
- - Larry   If balance matters, eyes, ears and limbs must be u...   Oct 11 22, 18:30
- - JustDaniel   refuse bone-break falls is therapist's main ad...   Oct 21 22, 16:12
- - Larry   A simple bone-break is a misnomer at best. for wha...   Oct 22 22, 13:00
- - JustDaniel   therapists' patients are tested regularly lest...   Oct 23 22, 03:45
- - Larry   Over exercise and you will tear down muscle in you...   Oct 25 22, 21:16
- - JustDaniel   hustling your bustle quickly emphasizes rear but s...   Oct 26 22, 01:39
- - Larry   Resting your body after some exercising may cause ...   Oct 27 22, 10:56
- - JustDaniel   she's compromising herself sharing her body ob...   Oct 27 22, 12:14
- - Larry   The mores they keep should be considered a sin. So...   Nov 5 22, 12:12
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