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Tanka, 5-7-5-7-7 [or less] |
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Sep 15 06, 11:23
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 20,858
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori

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Note: I'd thought there had been a post on this form earlier, but I could not locate it. If I'm incorrect, please let me know.
Tanka is a Japanese form of poetry of 31 onji; the closest we Americans come to that is to think in terms of 31 syllables. The lines are generally 5,7,5,7,7 syllables in length -- or preferably less -- short-long-short-long-long. I'm told that the earlier tanka shifted rhythm after the 12th onji; the more modern ones de-emphasize the location of shift or switch after the 17th. At any rate, here are some of my own attempts, for whatever they may be worth:
Stumbling Stumbling into growth may be bloody painful stuff, but scars remind me this vulnerability opens my heart to loving. © MLee Dickens'son 05 July 2002
Jesus’ Earthy Dad kept her a virgin miraculous conception of Mary’s Joseph whose union was further blessed: four sons and unnamed daughters © MLee Dickens'son12 Dec 2003
- Matthew 1:25; Mark 6:3
annuals vs. perennial ‘lovers’ seek to come seasoned and with wild bouquet pretending to root; a love is but one… who blooms when planted in nurtured ground
© MLee Dickens'son 18 Dec 2003
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Posts in this topic
JustDaniel Tanka Sep 15 06, 11:23 Larry make a flush and feel
that you have a winning hand... Feb 25 19, 16:27 JustDaniel when four asses land
in the four-seater out house
... Feb 26 19, 02:08 Larry before you are out
from swinging bats through the ... Feb 27 19, 16:08 JustDaniel ball with no cover
and everyone will see you
do it... Feb 27 19, 23:58 Larry her privacy gives
sufficient time to enjoy
the res... Feb 28 19, 22:38 JustDaniel old age might annoy
Lori so she doesn't look
d... Mar 1 19, 10:33 Larry oozes on the page
are unctuous platitudes
which ma... Mar 3 19, 14:56 JustDaniel having gratitude
is the surest way to peace
the wo... Mar 4 19, 18:16 Larry lost all their marbles
when the ruling was announc... Mar 5 19, 18:01 JustDaniel he said heads would roll
and Old MacDonald proved ... Mar 6 19, 00:39 Larry because it will hold
pomade is good for the hair
a... Mar 6 19, 23:11 JustDaniel I don't have enough
that would ever make it li... Mar 7 19, 15:07 Larry that I did not shave
is what I hear from my wife
‘... Mar 10 19, 11:22 JustDaniel I guess that my life
is not so complicated
my wife... Mar 15 19, 14:44 Larry it makes me bristle
when I walk through the tall g... Mar 17 19, 16:52 JustDaniel lawnmower needs gas
back yard looks like a wheat f... Mar 18 19, 15:52 Larry head of the owner
is now shining and sunburned
and... Mar 21 19, 08:08 Larry now he has learned “but”
should not be found at th... Apr 11 19, 22:12 JustDaniel send an afterthought
some time after digesting
get... May 27 19, 06:52 Larry just put up a stink
about participation;
it’s not ... May 30 19, 22:25 JustDaniel don't anticipate
anything profound from me;
ey... Jun 1 19, 08:14 Larry clean the pool filter
after the dog swims around;
... Jun 4 19, 14:15 JustDaniel scat all over ground
where the dog took morning wa... Jun 7 19, 10:55 Larry pooper scooper use
helps in keeping your hands cle... Jun 10 19, 22:51 JustDaniel smelling out Ob scene
were homicide detectives
fou... Jun 28 19, 06:18 Larry policemen checked her
on the lighted street corner... Jul 12 19, 21:51 JustDaniel John caught joinin' 'er
ended up in the ho... Aug 19 19, 14:03 Larry out of the oven
for the miner infraction
of diggin... Aug 20 19, 12:42 JustDaniel a large infection
found him scratching genitals;
h... Aug 20 19, 21:00 Larry expected bargain
when shopping for what’s offered
... Aug 24 19, 22:36 JustDaniel believe a coffin
will never hold your body?
need a... Aug 30 19, 12:41 Larry view that you will die
because it happens to all
e... Sep 2 19, 15:07 JustDaniel available gall
is shouted in the mean streets
gull... Sep 2 19, 18:10 Larry To adversaries,
I would suggest you make peace
for... Sep 12 19, 10:34 JustDaniel will rivalries cease?
will the Hatfields and McCoy... Sep 12 19, 16:49 Larry their line finds a trace
of reasoning for the feud... Sep 19 19, 13:09 JustDaniel someone must be screwed
for family's seed to p... Sep 23 19, 06:15 Larry Feud emerged screaming
from the peace which used t... Oct 11 19, 14:40 JustDaniel unfeigned hatred
eliminates guesswork
look down th... Oct 14 19, 07:38 Larry collect from your roof
all of the branches and lea... Nov 13 19, 14:40 JustDaniel in long winter, heave
all the snow off your sidewa... Nov 19 19, 05:25 Larry you can’t walk in springs
without getting your fee... Dec 12 19, 00:02 JustDaniel you'll have feet of clay
if you pretend to be ... Dec 12 19, 04:01  Psyche QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Dec 12 19, 06:01 ) yo... Dec 26 19, 11:12 JustDaniel Great to see you visiting in Karnak, Sylvia!
... Dec 27 19, 23:42 Larry Interspersed with twigs
is what's left of my g... Jul 16 22, 15:31 JustDaniel Your line four is a syllable short for the typical... Aug 8 22, 08:08 Larry A hunting license
requires some prerequisites;
the... Aug 9 22, 18:59 JustDaniel Havin' pain ain't fun
nor is an amputation... Aug 9 22, 23:57 Larry Right leg gets cut off
which is a drastic measure
... Aug 10 22, 17:49 JustDaniel minding our treasure
could devolve into hoarding
i... Aug 11 22, 10:04 Larry I haven’t found it
because memory’s hazy
so I’ll j... Aug 12 22, 15:51 JustDaniel Ah, a rhyming tanka! Great job, Larry...
an... Aug 12 22, 20:20 Larry Daniel, I had to pause for a while because your Ta... Aug 13 22, 08:31 JustDaniel she's surely not miffed
for it's being use... Aug 13 22, 12:12 Larry Service now and then
is where I should be going
fo... Aug 14 22, 11:03 JustDaniel He bestows blessing
even when we're not lookin... Aug 14 22, 12:42 Larry Looks like it is rhyme time in Tanka town!
T... Aug 14 22, 17:43 JustDaniel chancy on the lake
if you don't wear a life ve... Aug 14 22, 17:56 Larry A funeral fest
is normally called a wake
but I los... Aug 14 22, 19:29 JustDaniel must make decision
about whether I should rhyme
li... Aug 15 22, 06:13 Larry It takes too much time
when he’s getting his hair ... Aug 15 22, 15:49 JustDaniel drying in the sun
drudgery for a raisin
being grap... Aug 18 22, 08:01 Larry It’s blazing on rack
so I lowered the grill’s heat... Aug 18 22, 14:34 JustDaniel Overcooked meat sucks
at your summertime cookout
... Aug 19 22, 03:39 Larry A stout homeowner
might consider losing weight
if ... Aug 19 22, 14:06 JustDaniel When your plate's smaller
you'll tend to e... Aug 19 22, 23:45 Larry Each bit will be chewed
at least twenty times or m... Aug 20 22, 10:46 JustDaniel Stomached food hit floor
having not been digested
... Aug 21 22, 07:36 Larry I got congested
with the pollen and the rain
so I ... Aug 21 22, 10:20 JustDaniel Covid causes strain
when we have to wear a mask
Th... Aug 22 22, 02:35 Larry If you ask to peek
do you want to see my face
or j... Aug 22 22, 17:01 JustDaniel It's only by grace
that each of us is alive.
W... Aug 24 22, 04:32 Larry We survive to live
every moment of each day
so don... Aug 24 22, 15:19 JustDaniel Speaking of that, Larry, would you please read thi... Aug 25 22, 06:13 Larry You cling to His Word
feeling prayer is not enough... Aug 26 22, 20:45 JustDaniel our fading trouble
can be written in rondeau
and t... Aug 28 22, 03:25 Larry Our contest for show
and tell is at your behest
fo... Aug 30 22, 15:18 JustDaniel They want what you know
because you've shown t... Aug 30 22, 15:28 Larry Demonstrate their flair
with some eclectic rondeau... Sep 1 22, 23:31 JustDaniel Each of them has grown
in editing their rondeaux
m... Sep 2 22, 09:43 Larry Judging will be hard
with their Rondeaux of the Fa... Sep 2 22, 22:42 JustDaniel We threw them the ball
and with rondeaux they thre... Sep 3 22, 00:23 Larry Feedback’s good for them
when the rhymes and metri... Sep 5 22, 07:27 JustDaniel spooning's perfection
in loving relationships
... Sep 5 22, 17:43 Larry For your lips giving
a taste of friendship and lov... Sep 8 22, 11:23 JustDaniel through your sole it flew
that nail sticking from ... Sep 9 22, 18:30 Larry Explore nurse’s feet
like podiatrists might do
whe... Sep 10 22, 10:14 JustDaniel a sensible shoe
doesn't help my phantom foot
i... Oct 9 22, 17:38 Larry All medications
have many a side effect
so expecta... Oct 10 22, 09:01 JustDaniel neglecting your meds
can result in side effects
dr... Oct 10 22, 15:32 Larry If balance matters,
eyes, ears and limbs must be u... Oct 11 22, 18:30 JustDaniel refuse bone-break falls
is therapist's main ad... Oct 21 22, 16:12 Larry A simple bone-break
is a misnomer at best.
for wha... Oct 22 22, 13:00 JustDaniel therapists' patients
are tested regularly
lest... Oct 23 22, 03:45 Larry Over exercise
and you will tear down muscle
in you... Oct 25 22, 21:16 JustDaniel hustling your bustle
quickly emphasizes rear
but s... Oct 26 22, 01:39 Larry Resting your body
after some exercising
may cause ... Oct 27 22, 10:56 JustDaniel she's compromising
herself sharing her body
ob... Oct 27 22, 12:14 Larry The mores they keep
should be considered a sin.
So... Nov 5 22, 12:12
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