 EVER WONDERED, Wizard Award. Sorta rhyme |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
 Jul 8 06, 07:52
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#21
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,896 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep  |
QUOTE(Arnfinn @ Jul 6 06, 08:01 ) [snapback]78064[/snapback] Ya know what Grace...Ya got talent.  Mean ta say me arteries have gone haywire, one eye is ballin me foot n' one's checkin out me Lotto numbers.  I'm so excited I might send me poem into one of those dud poetry sites so's I can get all those false accolades through the mail inviting me to some poetry convention where I can win $7 billion dollars.  Annnnnnnnnnnnnd Ya say there's MORE. YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHoo.   G.D. Mate (and I do hope ya's off ta sleepyland).  John - I missed this one   . But ya knows me, always behind the  tryin' ta get me ole 'replier' in gear and 'catch up' on new topics.  Someone needs to smack me alter-ego into shape!  Either way ya goes, I look forward to readin' this one when I sits down an' starts replyin'. When ya walkabout to the land of the 'false accolades and win $7 billion', can I come along? I'm realllll good at talkin the talk.....  Be back soon Arniiiieeeeeeeeeeee! ~Cleo 
·······  ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
  
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| Guest_poeticpiers_* |
Jul 8 06, 10:06
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#22
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This poem fascinated me as I am extremely interested in how the brain works.Particularly where and how westore memories. The brain seems to work more as a fliter than anything else or we would be overwhelmed by the flood of information we recieve from organs of sight sound smell etc
You managed to capture the workings very well in this original poem I will not attempt to improve on the crits offered must just say waht a pleasure it was to read |
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Jul 9 06, 09:22
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#23
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,896 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi John.
A very philosophical poem I enjoyed reading! Sorry so tardy!  I've tried to incorporate a bit more rhythm so please 'as you like it' take or toss the ideas below. Ever wondered? Yes, I have and now I know! Well done!  ~Cleo  [add] {delete} (comment) Like the opening John!  Both eyes turn images upside down, then right way up to see, how can we be sure at all-times they eyes will act correctly? (suggest: how can we be content at all - will our eyes [then] act correctly?) If one eye {turned} [flips] an image {upside} down, then {left} [leaves] it {to} [there to] cheat[,] would one be looking straight ahead, the other at our feet? Would look like this: Both eyes turn images upside down, then right way up to see, how can we be content at all - will our eyes then act correctly? If one eye flips an image down, then leaves it there to cheat, would one be looking straight ahead, the other at our feet? A nose is very smart [you know]... {checking,} identifying {scents and} smells (scents is repetitive of smells) It studies what we’re sniffing, then sends {messages} [strong signals] to brain cells. If a nose act[s]{ed} sneaky and mix{ed}[s] marsupial scent with blossom, would we have {perfumed} flowers {scented} [perfumed] of Kangaroo and Possum? would look like this: A nose is very smart you know... identifying smells. It studies what we’re sniffing, then sends strong signals to brain cells. If a nose acts sneaky and mixes marsupial scent with blossom, would we have flowers perfumed of Kangaroo and Possum? What about vocal chords, {there} [they’re] useful when we wish to speak? Chords have tune cells to vibrate them, to make us talk or creak. Just imagine what would happen if a few tune cells fell asleep, what {odd} [weird] noises we’d be making if friends we chanced to meet. ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Jul 10 06, 06:25
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#24
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 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
QUOTE(poeticpiers @ Jul 8 06, 15:06 ) [snapback]78264[/snapback] This poem fascinated me as I am extremely interested in how the brain works.Particularly where and how westore memories. The brain seems to work more as a fliter than anything else or we would be overwhelmed by the flood of information we recieve from organs of sight sound smell etc You managed to capture the workings very well in this original poem I will not attempt to improve on the crits offered must just say waht a pleasure it was to read Yeah, I'm the same way, an unbelievable number of cells in the human body die and are replaced within thirty seconds. We don't realise this... My poem is really only a bit of fun, but me brain cells took over and controlled my fingers. They knew how to express themselves.  John  
······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner   |
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Jul 10 06, 06:51
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#25
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
QUOTE(Cleo_Serapis @ Jul 9 06, 14:22 ) [snapback]78336[/snapback] Hi John. A very philosophical poem I enjoyed reading! Sorry so tardy! I've tried to incorporate a bit more rhythm so please 'as you like it' take or toss the ideas below. Ever wondered? Yes, I have and now I know! Well done! ~Cleo [add] {delete} (comment) Like the opening John! Both eyes turn images upside down, then right way up to see, how can we be sure at all-times they eyes will act correctly? (suggest: how can we be content at all - will our eyes [then] act correctly?) If one eye {turned} [flips] an image {upside} down, then {left} [leaves] it {to} [there to] cheat[,] would one be looking straight ahead, the other at our feet? Would look like this: Both eyes turn images upside down, then right way up to see, how can we be content at all - will our eyes then act correctly? If one eye flips an image down, then leaves it there to cheat, would one be looking straight ahead, the other at our feet? A nose is very smart [you know]... {checking,} identifying {scents and} smells (scents is repetitive of smells) It studies what we’re sniffing, then sends {messages} [strong signals] to brain cells. If a nose act[s]{ed} sneaky and mix{ed}[s] marsupial scent with blossom, would we have {perfumed} flowers {scented} [perfumed] of Kangaroo and Possum? would look like this: A nose is very smart you know... identifying smells. It studies what we’re sniffing, then sends strong signals to brain cells. If a nose acts sneaky and mixes marsupial scent with blossom, would we have flowers perfumed of Kangaroo and Possum? What about vocal chords, {there} [they’re] useful when we wish to speak? Chords have tune cells to vibrate them, to make us talk or creak. Just imagine what would happen if a few tune cells fell asleep, what {odd} [weird] noises we’d be making if friends we chanced to meet. Good day Lori, I know you are busy and you dont have much time, so tardiness has nothing to do with it. Hey, your the third woman who's taken an interest in this!  First, Cathy, then Grace and now you.  I've posted a second revision.  Cathy set me straight on gramma as well as a few ideas, Grace, changed the form around and tried to stop me feet getting tangled and now you've come along with a few ideas of your own.  You think a bit more rhythm is needed. OK, I'll do a copy off the screen and then do some homework. Another, he... he... revision coming up.  John
······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Jul 10 06, 07:12
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#26
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 3,660 Joined: 23-August 03 From: Somerset, England Member No.: 22 Real Name: Grace Writer of: Poetry & Prose |
Hey Arnnnniiiiiiiie!!!
Bonzer revision mate. Pour yerself a Fosters 'n celebrate.   (Not the revision) but all the shielas readin' yer pome' an' puttin' in their two cents worth!  
······· ······· Love
Grace  http://mysite.orange.co.uk/graceingreece Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Nominate a tile for the Crown Jewels and Faery Awards today! For details, go to the Valley of the Kings! MM Award Winner     |
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Jul 12 06, 00:57
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#27
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
QUOTE(Cybele @ Jul 10 06, 12:12 ) [snapback]78392[/snapback] Hey Arnnnniiiiiiiie!!! Bonzer revision mate. Pour yerself a Fosters 'n celebrate. (Not the revision) but all the shielas readin' yer pome' an' puttin' in their two cents worth! Hah, thanks you kindly for the false appreciation. I think it's great you women giving me some dancing lessons.I think T.S. Eliot was a great poet on revision. SOO...I've done anotheree...Revision that is. Johnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...the Finn
······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Aug 19 06, 10:20
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#28
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,896 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Congrats John on your wizard award winning tile!
Well done!   ~Cleo :) ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Cathy_* |
Aug 19 06, 14:01
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#29
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Congratulations John!
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Aug 19 06, 17:13
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#30
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,610 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Great work John -- Congratulations.
Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Aug 25 06, 01:55
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#31
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
Hey, Ten-digit-poet,
Sorry mate, missed out acknowledging your comments on me poem. Thank you visiting and letting me know what ya though. John 
······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Aug 25 06, 01:58
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#32
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
Hi, Lori, Cathy and Snow,
Thank you for your wishes. John
······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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