EVER WONDERED, Wizard Award. Sorta rhyme Options

[Arnfinn]

*Graphic provided by
Celtic Castle Designs

Dunno, I thought I might Tidy up a bit more
Yeah I know it gets boring

Me last Revision.

EVER WONDER

Ever wonder how thoughts react
in the fissures of the brain?
Do they act out what we’re thinking
within the psyche train?
When your driving down a street
and stop when lights turn red,
do our thoughts speed up then halt
at every artery in our head?

Both eyes turn images upside down
then right way up to see,
how can we be sure at all times
that eyes will act correctly?
If one eye turned an image down,
to abandon it— and cheat
would one be looking straight ahead,
while the other stares at feet?

A nose is always hard at work
tracing fascinating smells,
it isolates scents we’re sniffing,
then sends messages to brain cells.
If a nose acted sneaky
mixed marsupial with blossom,
would the perfumed flowers pong
of Kangaroo and Possum?

And what about our vocal chords?
Useful, when we wish to speak—
chords have tune cells to vibrate them;
create words that talk or squeak.
Just imagine what would happen
if some tune cells fell asleep,
what odd noises we would be making
when our friends we chanced to meet.

Look at flapping ears; we have them
on the outside of our skull,
if they rejected sound, our lives
would be unfulfilled and dull;
we’d miss out on the enjoyment
when our partners uttered words,
no soothing sounds of orchestras
or sweet twittering of birds.

Yes, there’s no doubt— we need all those
brain cells sitting in our head,
over a hundred billion
in a medical journal I read.
So go and make tea or coffee,
put up your feet— watch a show,
remember our body’s vitalised
by cells knowing where to go.


Here we go again. Grace gave me a heap of ideas. Sooooooooo I've done another revision. Thank you Grace, youv'e spent a lot of thyme on this, to which I'm ingratitued...

EVER WONDERED

Ever wonder how thoughts react
in the fissures of the brain?
Do they act out what were thinking
deep within the psyche train?
When you’re driving down a street
and stop when lights turn red,
do our thoughts speed up then halt
at every artery in our head?

Eyes turn images upside down
then the right way up to see,
how can we be sure at all times
that eyes will act correctly?
If one eye turned an image down,
to abandon it— and cheat
would one observe what lies ahead,
while the other stared at feet?

A nose is always hard at work
tracing odours, scents and smells
It studies what we are sniffing,
then sends messages to brain cells.
If noses acted sneakily,
mixed marsupial-blossom,
would the fragrant flowers pong
of Kangaroo and Possum?

And what about our vocal chords?
Useful when we wish to speak—
Chords have tune cells to vibrate them,
create words that talk or squeak.
Just imagine what would happen
if some tune cells fell asleep,
what odd noises we would be making
when our friends we chanced to meet.

Look at flapping ears; we have them
on the outside of our skull,
if they rejected sound, our lives
would be unfulfilled and dull.
We’d miss out on the enjoyment
when our partners uttered words?
No soothing sounds of orchestras
or sweet twittering of birds.

Yes, no doubt— we need all those
brain cells sitting in our head,
there’s over a hundred billion
a medical journal said.
So go and make tea or coffee,
put up your feet— watch a show,
remember our body’s vitalised
by cells knowing where to go.


I wish to thank, Cathy who put a lot of work into putting the polish on me poem

Heeeeeeeeeeeeere we go.

Revision

EVER WONDERED


Ever wonder how thoughts re-act in the fissures of your brain?
Do thoughts act out what we’re thinking within the psyche train?
You’re driving down the street, and stop when lights turn red,
do thoughts speed-up then halt at every artery in your head?

Both eyes turn images upside down, then right way up to see,
how can we be sure at all-times they eyes will act correctly?
If one eye turned an image upside down, then left it to cheat
would one be looking straight ahead, the other at our feet?

A nose is very smart... checking, identifying scents and smells
It studies what we’re sniffing, then sends messages to brain cells.
If a nose acted sneaky and mixed marsupial scent with blossom,
would we have perfumed flowers scented of Kangaroo and Possum?

What about vocal chords, there useful when we wish to speak?
Chords have tune cells to vibrate them, to make us talk or creak.
Just imagine what would happen if a few tune cells fell asleep,
what odd noises we’d be making if friends we chanced to meet.

Look at flapping ears; we have them on the outside of our skull,
If they repulsed sound, our lives would be undisturbed and dull.
Would we miss enjoyment when our partners muttered words?
There’d be no symphonic orchestras or sweet twittering birds.

Yes, no doubt— we need all those brain cells sitting in our head,
there’s over a hundred billion according to a magazine I read.
So go and make some coffee, put up your feet, and watch a show
Then hope ears, eyes, nose and voice cells will stimulate and go.


Easy flowinggggggggggggggggggggg, Cathy


Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank ya.


EVER WONDERED



Ever wondered how thoughts re-act in the fissures of your brain.
Do thoughts act out what we’re thinking within the psyche train?
You’re driving down the street, and stop when the lights turn red,
Do thoughts speed-up and then halt at every artery in your head?

Both our eyes turn images upside down then right way up to see,
How can we be sure at all-times that our eyes will act correctly?
If one eye turned an image upside down then left it there to cheat
Would one be looking straight ahead and the other at our feet?

A nose is very smart checking and identifying scents and smells
It studies what we’re sniffing, then sends messages to brain cells.
If a nose acted sneaky and mixed marsupial scent with blossom,
We’d have perfumed flowers scented of Kangaroo and Possum?

What about vocal chords’ there useful when we wish to speak?
Chords have tune cells, to vibrate them, to make us talk or creak.
Just imagine what would happen if a few tune cells fell asleep
What odd noises we’d be making if friends we chanced to meet.

Look at flapping ears; we have them on the outside of our skull,
If they repulsed sound, our lives would be undisturbed and dull.
We would miss enjoyment when our partners muttered words?
There’d be no symphonic orchestras and sweet twittering birds.

Yes, no doubt— we need all those brain cells sitting in our head,
There’s over a hundred billion according— to a magazine I read.
So go and make some coffee, put up your feet, and watch a show
Then hope, ears, eyes, nose and voice cells will stimulate and go.


Arnfinn © John Macleod 9th June 2006

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Hi John,

This is certainly interesting! LOL I never would have thought to write about brain cells, but then, I couldn't think without them could I?

Ever wonder{ed} how thoughts re-act in the fissures of your brain{.}[?] Wrong tense?
Do thoughts act out what we’re thinking within the psyche train?
You’re driving down the street, {and} stop when {the} lights turn red,
[d]o thoughts speed-up[,] {and} then halt at every artery in your head?

Both {our} eyes turn images upside down[,] then right way up to see,
[h]ow can we be sure at all-times that {our eyes}[they] will act correctly? You could omit 'how' and I don't think it would hurt the line. 'They' to avoid repeating 'our eyes'.
If one eye turned an image upside[-]down[,] then left it there to cheat[,]
[w]ould one be looking straight ahead[,] {and} the other at our feet?

A nose is very smart[...] checking[,] {and} identifying scents and smells[.]
It studies what we’re sniffing, then sends messages to brain cells.
If a nose acted sneaky and mixed marsupial scent with blossom,
{We’d}[would we] have perfumed flowers scented of Kangaroo and Possum?

What about vocal chords{’}[,] there useful when we wish to speak?
Chords have tune cells{,} to vibrate them, to make us talk or creak.
Just imagine what would happen if a few tune cells fell asleep[,]
[w]hat odd noises we’d be making if friends we chanced to meet.

Look at flapping ears; we have them on the outside of our skull,
If they repulsed sound, our lives would be undisturbed and dull.
{We would}[Would we] miss enjoyment when our partners muttered words?
There’d be no symphonic orchestras {and}[or] sweet twittering birds.

Yes, no doubt— we need all those brain cells sitting in our head,
[t]here’s over a hundred billion according{—} to a magazine I read.
So go and make some coffee, put up your feet, and watch a show
Then hope{,} ears, eyes, nose and voice cells will stimulate and go.


Truth and humor all wrapped into one! Well done! I thought that these suggestions might tighten it up a bit. It would look like this~

Ever wonder how thoughts re-act in the fissures of your brain?
Do thoughts act out what we’re thinking within the psyche train?
You’re driving down the street, stop when lights turn red,
do thoughts speed-up, then halt at every artery in your head?

Both eyes turn images upside-down, then right way up to see,
can we be sure at all-times that they will act correctly?
If one eye turned an image upside-down then left it there to cheat,
would one be looking straight ahead, the other at our feet?

A nose is very smart ... checking, identifying scents and smells.
It studies what we’re sniffing, then sends messages to brain cells.
If a nose acted sneaky and mixed marsupial scent with blossom,
would we have perfumed flowers scented of Kangaroo and Possum?

What about vocal chords, useful when we wish to speak?
Chords have tune cells to vibrate them, to make us talk or creak.
Just imagine what would happen if a few tune cells fell asleep,
what odd noises we’d be making if friends we chanced to meet.

Look at flapping ears; we have them on the outside of our skull,
If they repulsed sound, our lives would be undisturbed and dull.
Would we miss enjoyment when our partners muttered words?
There’d be no symphonic orchestras or sweet twittering birds.

Yes, no doubt— we need all those brain cells sitting in our head,
there’s over a hundred billion according to a magazine I read.
So go and make some coffee, put up your feet, and watch a show
Then hope ears, eyes, nose and voice cells will stimulate and go.


Cathy

[Maggie]

Hi John,

I don't know if you know me or not, but after reading your very cleverly done poem, I certainly will remember you! I really do like your poem- especially for its originality and humor.

I see you've gotten one in-depth tightening up critique which seems to polish a bit, and to tell the truth I don't see much else to change-at all. So I will say "thanks for the laugh" and for a peak at your whimsical way of looking at anatomy. I enjoyed it!

Peggy

[Arnfinn]

Hi Cathy,


What do you reckin are all ya brain cells on the ball? I hope so...


I''ve checked out your crit-- a revision.

Thanks Cathy .


John.

[Arnfinn]

G'day Peggy, (Margaret ?)


I don't know if you know me or not, but after reading your very cleverly done poem, I certainly will remember you! I really do like your poem- especially for its originality and humor. grinning.gif

I see you've gotten one in-depth tightening up critique which seems to polish a bit, and to tell the truth I don't see much else to change-at all. So I will say "thanks for the laugh" and for a peak at your whimsical way of looking at anatomy. I enjoyed it! grinning.gif



Yeay, Peg, I did a crit on one of your poems. I enjoyed the read...

Thank you for letting your brain cells take advantage of me dabblings.


John

[JLY]

John,
Cathy has done quite a detailed job in providing you with a finely tuned piece. However, when I read the following....."flapping ears"..the image of an elephant keeps coming to mind. I am wondering if we can think of another way to describe our precious ears.

JLY

[Arnfinn]

How are Ya


I can't think of anything John?


????








Give me a clue.............



John

[JLY]

John,
I have been thinking, but my mental pictures and my vocabulary don't seem to be in synch. So far I have nothing to improve your precious piece....I do my best thinking in the morning....so perhaps you may here from me sooner than later.
JLY

[AMETHYST]

BRAVO...

What a wonderful...delightful and curiously creative poem. I've read it several times. Mostly for the pleasure. Applause to you for given Dedications to all that we so often take for granted...

The only little nit I have is with that very final word "go"...

It felt forced for rhyme. I suppose because I loved the setting the final stanza painted, but couldn't think where these wonderful gifts could "go"...
Perhaps you might reconsider ...


Then hope ears, eyes, nose and voice cells will stimulate just so.


Other than that... I will be reading this again!

Hugs, liz

[Arnfinn]

How are ya John,


Flappin, floppin, fluttin.

Ya right mate... Only a mixed-up lot of brain cells in a virtual state.


John


What the hell.............Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhho cares.

[Arnfinn]

BRAVO...

What a wonderful...delightful and curiously creative poem. I've read it several times. Mostly for the pleasure. Applause to you for given Dedications to all that we so often take for granted...

The only little nit I have is with that very final word "go"...

It felt forced for rhyme. I suppose because I loved the setting the final stanza painted, but couldn't think where these wonderful gifts could "go"...
Perhaps you might reconsider ...


Then hope ears, eyes, nose and voice cells will stimulate just so.


Other than that... I will be reading this again!

Hugs, liz

How are ya Liz,

Geez it's good ta see ya.


I dips me lid to ya

Poetry's no serious matter. Matter o' fact It doesn't matter.

In the poetry world there's no first prize. Friends will read and then dismiss or ponder ... Hmm... nice poem... Ha...The point is, we are here at this site not to post a masterpiece, but to post, an extension of ourselves, our being, our thoughts and our love of expression.

Thank you, Liz I enjoy your friendship.


Long may we enjoy friendship.

John

[AMETHYST]

Hi John,

It was so good to read this poem, and your unique skill and talent again. It has been a long while. Glad to see us both out and about. How are you doing these days? ... I hope you are well and keeping those muses actively sharpened.

I know we aren't here to write a masterpiece, but it is certainly an accopmlishment when someone reads our work as holds it in such regard... Keep writing the way you write... and I will keep thinking you write masterpieces! Deal? ...

To friendships... always,
Hugs, Liz

[Cybele]

Strewth mate!

Ya bin excercising yer mental faculties while I've bin walkabout ent ya?

I see Cathy came up trumps with a great crit, but if ya don't mind I'm gonna stick me beak (an me oar) inter me oz mate's pome an' offer ya some of the thoughts which are passin through me addled noddle.

First off Arn, I want to read it broken down into bite size pieces. I find it very difficult to hold long lines in me head ya see. Sonething like this..



Ever wonder how thoughts re-act
in the fissures of your brain?
Do thoughts act out what we’re thinking
within the psyche train?
You’re driving down the street,
and stop when lights turn red,
do thoughts speed-up then halt
at every artery in your head?

Both eyes turn images upside down,
then right way up to see,
how can we be sure at all-times
they eyes will act correctly?
If one eye turned an image upside down,
then left it to cheat
would one be looking straight ahead,
the other at our feet?

A nose is very smart... checking,
identifying scents and smells
It studies what we’re sniffing,
then sends messages to brain cells.
If a nose acted sneaky and
mixed marsupial scent with blossom,
would we have perfumed flowers
scented of Kangaroo and Possum?

What about vocal chords,
there useful when we wish to speak?
Chords have tune cells to vibrate them,
to make us talk or creak.
Just imagine what would happen
if a few tune cells fell asleep,
what odd noises we’d be making
if friends we chanced to meet.

Look at flapping ears; we have them
on the outside of our skull,
If they repulsed sound, our lives
would be undisturbed and dull.
Would we miss enjoyment
when our partners muttered words?
There’d be no symphonic orchestras
or sweet twittering birds.

Yes, no doubt— we need all those
brain cells sitting in our head,
there’s over a hundred billion
according to a magazine I read.
So go and make some coffee, put up
your feet, and watch a show
Then hope ears, eyes, nose and
voice cells will stimulate and go.


I have some more thoughts to offer ya mate, but will wait till ya let me know what yer think to the change of format?

I hope ya taking great care of yourself John? I'm thinkin of ya.

[Arnfinn]

Hi John,

It was so good to read this poem, and your unique skill and talent again. It has been a long while. Glad to see us both out and about. How are you doing these days? ... I hope you are well and keeping those muses actively sharpened.

I know we aren't here to write a masterpiece, but it is certainly an accopmlishment when someone reads our work as holds it in such regard... Keep writing the way you write... and I will keep thinking you write masterpieces! Deal? ...

To friendships... always,
Hugs, Liz

Liz we gotta stop writing this stuff, I've got one finger typing on the keyboard...n' one hand pattin meself on the back.





I've got a smile on me dial like a Queensland banana...big yella teeth.





As W.C. FIELDS said 'On with the moooooooooooooooooootely babieeeeeeee.


John

[Arnfinn]

Strewth mate!

Ya bin excercising yer mental faculties while I've bin walkabout ent ya?

I see Cathy came up trumps with a great crit, but if ya don't mind I'm gonna stick me beak (an me oar) inter me oz mate's pome an' offer ya some of the thoughts which are passin through me addled noddle.

First off Arn, I want to read it broken down into bite size pieces. I find it very difficult to hold long lines in me head ya see. Sonething like this..
Ever wonder how thoughts re-act
in the fissures of your brain?
Do thoughts act out what we’re thinking
within the psyche train?
You’re driving down the street,
and stop when lights turn red,
do thoughts speed-up then halt
at every artery in your head?

Both eyes turn images upside down,
then right way up to see,
how can we be sure at all-times
they eyes will act correctly?
If one eye turned an image upside down,
then left it to cheat
would one be looking straight ahead,
the other at our feet?

A nose is very smart... checking,
identifying scents and smells
It studies what we’re sniffing,
then sends messages to brain cells.
If a nose acted sneaky and
mixed marsupial scent with blossom,
would we have perfumed flowers
scented of Kangaroo and Possum?

What about vocal chords,
there useful when we wish to speak?
Chords have tune cells to vibrate them,
to make us talk or creak.
Just imagine what would happen
if a few tune cells fell asleep,
what odd noises we’d be making
if friends we chanced to meet.

Look at flapping ears; we have them
on the outside of our skull,
If they repulsed sound, our lives
would be undisturbed and dull.
Would we miss enjoyment
when our partners muttered words?
There’d be no symphonic orchestras
or sweet twittering birds.

Yes, no doubt— we need all those
brain cells sitting in our head,
there’s over a hundred billion
according to a magazine I read.
So go and make some coffee, put up
your feet, and watch a show
Then hope ears, eyes, nose and
voice cells will stimulate and go.
I have some more thoughts to offer ya mate, but will wait till ya let me know what yer think to the change of format?

I hope ya taking great care of yourself John? I'm thinkin of ya.

G..ds Strewth,

Cobber, Cobber Ya brilliant

What an improvement to me observational piece.

Ya know what Grace...Ya got talent. Mean ta say me arteries have gone haywire, one eye is ballin me foot n' one's checkin out me Lotto numbers.

What a great revisssssssssssion of me little ol' poem

Reads like the ingredients on the side of an Arnott's biscuit tin.

I'm so excited I might send me poem into one of those dud poetry sites so's I can get all those false accolades through the mail inviting me to some poertry convention where I can win $7 billion dollars.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd Ya say there's MORE.

YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHoo.

Lay it on me babe...I'm a cookin with gas

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Friendship.

Stick around me eyes are all ears. (flappin)

[Cybele]

Hey Arnnnnnnnniiiee!

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd Ya say there's MORE.

YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHoo.

Lay it on me babe...I'm a cookin with gas

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Friendship.

Stick around me eyes are all ears. (flappin)

Calm down there mate, you'll get yer knickers in a right twist otherwise.

Ya like it then? Me suggestion? I couldn't bear the thought of you lying on the floor 'avin a hissy fit an puttin' the fear of God inta Lily, not ta mention Pam. (I said not ta mention Pam!)

Okay, if yer want some more of me ideas blue, I have ta take it away with me an' peruse yer beautiful pome.

Just sit back, have a nice cold tinny and relax, Don't want yer goin' all crook on us again mate. I'm running out of prayers till I get to the Heavenly Supermarket.

Back soon.

[Cybele]

Watcha Cob,

OK Heres's a little pick and mix for you to choose or chuck. Just trying to balance the rhythm John.

Ever wonder how thoughts re-act8 Ever wonder how thoughts react 8
in the fissures of your brain? 7 in the fissures of the brain? 7
Do thoughts act out what we’re thinking 8 Do they act out what were
thinking 8
within the psyche train 6 deep within the psyche train? 8
You’re driving down the street,6 When you're driving down a street 8
and stop when lights turn red, 6 and stop when lights turn red, 7
do thoughts speed-up then halt 6 do our thoughts speed up then halt 7
at every artery in your head? 7 at every artery in our head? 7

Both eyes turn images upside down, 9 Eyes turn images upside down 8
then right way up to see, 6 then the right way up to see 7
how can we be sure at all-times 8 how can we be sure at all times 8
they eyes will act correctly? 7 That eyes will act correctly? 7
If one eye turned an image upside down,10 If one eye turned the image round 8
then left it to cheat 5 the second one not so keen, 7
would one be looking straight ahead, 8 would one be looking at the ground, 8
the other at our feet? 6 the other where we’ve been? 8

A nose is very smart... checking,8 A smart nose is always checking 8
identifying scents and smells 8 Discovering scents and awful smells 8
It studies what we’re sniffing,7 It studies what we’re sniffing, 7
then sends messages to brain cells.8 then sends the message to brain cells. 8
If a nose acted sneaky and 7 If noses acted sneakily 8
mixed marsupial scent with blossom,8 mixed marsupial scent with blossom, 8
would we have perfumed flowers 7 Would the sweetest flowers smell 7
scented of Kangaroo and Possum? 9 of Kangaroo and Possum? 7

What about vocal chords, 6 And what about our vocal chords? 8
there useful when we wish to speak? 8 Useful when we wish to speak 7
Chords have tune cells to vibrate them, 8 Chords have tune cells to vibrate them, 8
to make us talk or creak.6 when we open up our beak 7
Just imagine what would happen 8 Just imagine what would happen 8
if a few tune cells fell asleep,8 If some tune cells fell fast asleep 8
what odd noises we’d be making 7 what odd noises we’d be
making 7
if friends we chanced to meet.6 when our friends we chanced to meet. 7

Look at flapping ears; we have them8 Look at flapping ears; we have them 8
on the outside of our skull,7 on the outside of our skull 7
If they repulsed sound, our lives 7 If they rejected sound, our lives 8
would be undisturbed and dull.7 would be unfulfilled and dull
Would we miss enjoyment 6 We’d miss all the enjoyment 7
when our partners muttered words? 7 when our partners uttered words 7
There’d be no symphonic orchestras 9 No symphonic orchestras 7
or sweet twittering birds.6 or sweetly twittering birds 7
Yes, no doubt— we need all those 7 Yes, no doubt— we need all those 7
brain cells sitting in our head,7 brain cells sitting in our head, there’s over a hundred billion 8 over a hundred billion 7
according to a magazine I read.10 (in a magazine I read!) 7
So go and make some coffee,7 So go and make some coffee, 7 Put up your feet, and watch a show 8 put your feet up to watch a show. 8
Then hope ears, eyes, nose and 6 Hope your senses synchronise 7
voice cells will stimulate and go.8 and co-ordinate the flow 7

Feel free to ignore all this rigmarole cobber. Catch ya later my friend.

[Arnfinn]

Wow ya put a lot work in Cob.




I run off a copy n' I'll go over her tomorrah...Sunday.


Hope ya not too worn out. Youll need a few days off. How about a flight to Norway or sumpthin.

You must be in the middle of Summer, so ther'll be heatwave or two I expect, must get up around 19 degrees celsius I expect.

I shall return..................


John

[Cybele]

Mornin' Arnieee,

Hope your takin care of yourself and wrapping up well to keep out the nasty chill winds of winter?

Hope ya not too worn out. You'll need a few days off. How about a flight to Norway or sumpthin.

Well I am a bit jiggered. Just trying ter work out where to go walkabout next Arn. Me Dad always used ta say I had ants in me pants. Never changed I reckon!

You must be in the middle of Summer, so ther'll be heatwave or two I expect, must get up around 19 degrees celsius I expect.

Knock it off blue. Last week the temperature soared to 37 celsius and people were meltin' all over the place. Matter of fact I brought all the sunshine back in me suitcase after trippin round the Greek Islands. I promised me muckers that when they need some more I will make the supreme sacrifice an go out there a fetch it for 'em. How selfless can ya be cob?

You take good care of yourself now John. Love to Pam and Lily.

[Guest_The Ten-Digit Poet_*]

Good morning, John,

I enjoyed the humor in this poem. I appreciate even more that it makes you think about something that we simply take for granted.

Cathy was very thorough in pointing out areas of improvement, and I don’t see anything she missed. Nice work on the revision!