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A Red-Neck Christmas, Finalist |
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Nov 15 05, 19:30
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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A Red-Neck Christmas
(This may actually change into a bad song! I have a chorus stuck in my head. But for now, this will suffice. )
Way down in Alabammy where Yankees fear to go them good ol' boys in pick-up trucks ain't missin' Yankee snow.
They ain't a hangin' stockin's or a hangin' Christmas lights cuz Christmas for them Rednecks means lookin' fer a fight!
They don't need no candy - just some buckshot an' some beer to shoot at Santa's Reindeer fer what they did ta Grandma last year.
Then they'll go get 3-toed Joe ta spring him outta jail. But first, they'll rob the liquor store so they can make his bail.
Now, don't ferget thar party an' that good ol' bar-bee-que whar you kin et yer fill o' possum an' mebbe a squirrel er two.
Then top it off with moonshine an' call it a night! Boy, them good ol' Bubbas shore do Christmas right!
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I am who I am.
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Nov 15 05, 19:37
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Thank you for your Holiday entry! :holly:
Best of luck to you! :dove:
May the 'classic' holiday spirit be shared in your heart throughout the season! :blueorn:
~ Mosaic Musings Staff :knight: :pharoah: :viking: :vic: :troy: :roman: :cali: :tut: :knight:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Nov 15 05, 19:40
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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Hmmmmm, Lori, I'm beginning to doubt the sincerity of this message! LOL! ??? :p :D
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I am who I am.
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Nov 15 05, 20:00
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Now them thar wishes are genuYne, B. :reindeer:
:mm:
:mm:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Nov 15 05, 20:36
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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Whall, I'm a glad ta hear that, Lori cuz I wuz a seein' the same thing all over da place and I was a startin' ta wonder what the heck was a goin' on 'round here!!!! Hey, I'm only trying to help you meet your goal of 50. Still gots 28 more to go. Don't worry, though, I won't write 28 more. Maybe 2 or 3! LOL! Let's see...who else can I offend?:p
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I am who I am.
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Nov 15 05, 23:20
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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Well, DUH Relli!
How in the world can you expect a Jersey girl to get a good ol' Suth'rn draaaaaawl down, ya Silly! LOL! Well, I guess I shouldn't say much considering that I'm from New York myself! LOL! No New York accent, however. Though, people do often ask if I'm from Colorado cuz they say I have a Colorado accent - whatever that is! I lived there for 4 years and never noticed one. Hmmmmm....weird.....but then, so am I! LOL! No news flahs there! (Hey Lori, I'm getting ahead of you in the typo thingy again! Neener! :p )
And with all that candy you've been giving me, Little Girlie, I'm getting even fatter and soon I won't be able to fit into my FAT clothes! Whatever will I do then?
Thanks Liz! So, y'all liked my redneck Christmas, didya? Whal, then, I'll jest hafta keep on writin' this crap ta keep y'all happy as clams on the half shell! Y'll behave yerself and quit all that cleanin' ya hear? Yer makin' me look bad! LOL!
BIg Love You Drawl or Not Hugs, B.
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I am who I am.
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Nov 16 05, 04:51
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 624
Joined: 6-August 03
From: Texas
Member No.: 15
Real Name: Marcia
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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I can shore see ya been knowin' my cuzins ! They done taught you the draaaaaawl and sum really bad habits ! And at Christmas, too ! Fer shame ! ~laugh~ Marcia
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"...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner
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Nov 16 05, 11:25
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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Whal, whut kin I say, Marcia? I gots me a weak mind - I'm easily influencedt fer the werst! But ya gotta hand it ta them good ol' boys! They know how ta have themselfs a darn good time! LOL! Boy howdy! 'N I do tend ta be a tad shame faced most o' the time with or without rednecks! LOL! And one of those faces that nobody believes would do such a thing! LOL! Needless to say, WHEN I can keep a straight face, I get away with a lot! Tee-hee-hee!
Grab yerself a beer and spread some Christmas cheer! yea ha!
Hugs, B.
("course thems those Suth'rn boys, not those good ol' boys in Texas! I have some family in Texas meself! LOL!)
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I am who I am.
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Nov 16 05, 14:36
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 624
Joined: 6-August 03
From: Texas
Member No.: 15
Real Name: Marcia
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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Hmmmm.....beer and m&m's.....them thar's aare favoriiiiite snacks. I'll toss you a cold one. Or meybe you preeefer sum boot-leg whiskey? My grand-daddy used to make moonshine whiskey. Secret famly recipe, and all.....~still laughing~Too soon fer egg nog ! Marcia
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"...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner
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Nov 16 05, 15:01
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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Now, thar ya go, Marcia! Leadin' me down the path ta no guud! Me n' beer, not ta mention moonshine, is a real bad combination! ya think I'm obnoxious now, jest try a seein' me drunk as a skunk! T'ain't a purty sight, I tell ya! Now, best be behavin' yerself cuz Santa's watchin'. Christmas is too dern close ta be takin' big chances the likes o' that! Ruck-ruck-ruck! :jester:
Now, little Lady, ya best be a gettin' back ta writin' yer own entries or that Cleo'll have us all out behind the woodshed!!!!
Big Ol' Bear Hugs, B.
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I am who I am.
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Nov 16 05, 16:07
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 624
Joined: 6-August 03
From: Texas
Member No.: 15
Real Name: Marcia
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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Guess, I better.....them supple willow branches can lite a fire on your beehind ! Tell Cleo to save th' woodshed fer someone else ! ~laugh~ Marcia
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"...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner
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Nov 16 05, 17:40
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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Ya got that right, Marcia! I'm still smartin' from the last whuppin' i got! (Deserved it though! LOL!) Yeah, let 'er pick on somebody else this time! LOL!
I guess I'd better get ta writin' more crap fer her, too, seein' as she's tryin' ta get 50 posts in 'ere an' thar ain't nowhar near that meny yet!
Bubba Hugs, B.
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Nov 18 05, 11:06
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 9,364
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Well, now, this is a different sort of Christmas !!! May I join the Rednecks?! Tho' ah dont think ah could stomach possum and squirrel.... ughhh !!!! Jus' gimme sum beer'an'whisky, and how bout sendin' in some more of yer humor?
Great pome, ya naughty thing !! hugs, Sylvia :dove:
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Nov 18 05, 11:16
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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Why Ah thank ye kindly, ma'am! An' that jest leaves more squirrel fer me!!! yea haaaa! Now, I been a thinkin' mebbe I should write me another poem but this one havin' ta do with reindeer and a very disgruntled elf! LOL! An' Ah ain't a worried none bout bein' naughty. I gets me coal in my stockin' ev'ry year. Keeps the shed all nice n' toasy! LOL!
Thanks for the comments!
Big Hugs, B.
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I am who I am.
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Dec 4 05, 08:09
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Congratulations! :blueorn: This submission has been nominated as a finalist in the Second Annual Mosaic Musings Holiday Classic! Best of luck! :holly:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Dec 4 05, 16:32
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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Whal, golly, gee! I niver! Guess that means the Billy Beer's on me! LOL!:D
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Guest_Cathy_*
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Dec 5 05, 08:31
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Guest
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Congratulations Nef and good luck in the final round!
:snowflake: :blueorn: :snowflake:
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Dec 5 05, 13:21
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 203
Joined: 3-August 03
Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry
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Why I do thank ye kindly, ma'am! I dun my family proud! LOL!
Again, best wishes to you, too, Cathy!
Big hugs, B.
PS Noticed your link to your space. GREAT SPACE! Very nice! You dun good, too!
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Dec 5 05, 14:50
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,621
Joined: 18-August 05
From: Johannesburg, South Africa
Member No.: 127
Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Jox
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CONGRATULATIONS! x2
PP
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