 Haiku, Japanese form |
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 Apr 13 05, 08:20
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#361
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
tulip blooms too soon
wilted from this morning’s frost; busy bees shrug wings © Daniel J Ricketts 13 April 2005 ·······  ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Apr 17 05, 08:48
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#362
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hello there
I have read that Haiku does not necessarily have to take on a 5-7-5 form and conciseness is more important, so would this be acceptable star scattered sky blankets the sun; dream time ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner        |
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Apr 17 05, 08:50
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#363
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Very pretty Snow!!
Yes - I believe that Grace inquired too and as long as the thought process in the same, I don't think one is restricted to 5-7-5.... ~Cleo :) ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner  |
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Apr 17 05, 11:47
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#364
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Yes, so far as I have read, conciseness is the key, and the 5-7-5 'rule' usually includes "or less" in explanations that I have read; usually the 2nd line is longer than the other two, but I don't suppose that is essential. What is, is that there are two snapshot, one in two lines; one in the other. They're usually not centered, but since Grace likes to do hers that way at times, here's one for you, Snow:
snow melts hearts in life-giving streams; oceans rejoice soaking it in Lightly, Daniel
 ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Apr 18 05, 08:07
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#365
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Thank you Daniel
I must say I like the thought of having a longer line in the middle -- more traditional. How about star scattered sky blankets sun; dream ends with roosters crow Snow ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Apr 18 05, 08:54
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#366
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
You're most welcome, Snow...
and I hasten to say that I'm no well-read expert on this form that I love to experiment with, but I do think that the snapshots shouldn't be divided between two lines as your modification offers. I think there are two distinct pictures or impressions, one in one line, and the other in two. Perhaps you're wishing to paint something like this? star-scattered sky blankets sun for dream time; rooster’s crow ends it ... which comes mighty close to a senryu with the introduction of the humorous second picture. Again, I'm just offering a suggestion as to how to separate the pictures, not what strokes you wish to use in your picture. My modification of yours is merely for illustration. Here's a kind of sister for yours: counted on... dreaming, Lightly, Daniel star-struck by dark night sky; too soon mourning
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Apr 27 05, 15:54
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#367
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hi Daniel
star-scattered sky blankets sun for dream time; rooster’s crow ends it that is exactly what I was trying to say -- thanks. I like my sister too  Snow ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Apr 28 05, 04:03
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#368
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Now that's encouraging, Snow! We're on the same page again.
Now... is this a senryu or a haiku? if hen lays an egg what will dumb-cluck rooster do? he springs up and crows Well... you certainly didn't lay an egg, an' I'm just Lightly cluckin'! - Daniel :sun: ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Aug 30 05, 05:29
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#369
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 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
This is my sole contribution to this thread.
I wrote this Haiku for my wife and the rememberance of our son Peter Winters Lament [beauty is formed within the beat of your heart and the memories of a face] a grey pardalote blossom scented tears—headstone winters drab sunlight Arnfinn Copyright © John Macleod 29th August 2005 ······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner  |
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May 5 06, 19:52
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#370
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
I cannot believe that I've not been to this section for so long, John... so please forgive the insensitivity in not responding to your heartfelt memorial.
I think when I'd first read it I was embarrassed to ask what pardalote is and just kept postponing posting until someone else asked... but here we are 9 months later, and I still have no clue. Could you fill me in? In the meanwhile, a senryu: offer a small tip I will not reveal your lie a caddie's motto  ... and if I entitled it 'dog-leg' it might become a 'faux-ku'  Lightly, Daniel
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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| Guest_ohsteve_* |
May 6 06, 09:03
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#371
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I ride on logging roads
slippery with frost in the middle of a sunrise fire. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logged roads I ride, middle slippery with the frost of a sunrise fire I think that make it a senryu at least i hope i counted the syllables correctly... Steve |
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| Guest_ohsteve_* |
May 6 06, 09:06
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#372
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Universal stars
twinkle from the black out back I watch from porch swing. |
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Oct 5 06, 06:00
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#373
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Wow, Steve...
It looks like I took a vacation down here! Great to see your hand here. Very nice pieces! Here's one for this season: fiery woodland:
tight-fisted green limbers up to bough out in red ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Oct 5 06, 14:42
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#374
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
Hello Guys!
Glad you have revived Haikus! From me Peterpan! I have a few on the 5 Senses...Here is one:  Hear & See Talk’s easy to hear hearing is hard without eyes gossip is piercing. Oh my gosh! I have just realised (an hour after posting) that this is possibly a Senryu as it is not about nature?? ······· ······· |
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Apr 4 12, 08:25
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#375
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
creeping flox
blossoms in the sun; heather's scent 'round ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Apr 5 12, 08:59
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#376
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Beautiful, Daniel!
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Apr 5 12, 09:41
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#377
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
PUNDITTERY
Beautiful Daniel a man of few words, in fact, of quite a few words .... Alan ······· ······· |
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Apr 6 12, 07:32
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#378
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 19,936 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
quiet, few words
sting with their power: je t'adore [ What the demure French maid had misheard when the householder said, after telling her to leave and she'd left the door ajar ... "Shut the door" ] ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Apr 6 12, 14:19
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#379
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Frequent jets adorn
the airport take-off runways holidays R us ! Alan ······· ······· |
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Apr 6 12, 16:37
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#380
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,722 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Haiku is nature.
Senyru: people and things. When mixed, one suffers. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner  |
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