Loglimerhyme, Larry Jennings' variant of Logarhyme w/ 332332 pulse meter Options

[Larry]

If you cap your sparse hair with toupees
do they keep your scalp warm or just raise
people’s eyebrows who see
an old gentleman with lots of hair
when they know that his head may be bare.
Comfort or vanity?

[JustDaniel]

Does your vanity comfort your eyes
as your stare at your silly disguise
in the mirror it bears?
Put the make-up away in its drawer
and avoid all the means you explore
to avoid all our scares.

[Larry]

To avoid any scares when you cook
you must make sure you get out the book
of those good recipes
which you’ve eaten for most of your life.
Most were penned by your sweet loving wife
and you’d like them to please.

[JustDaniel]

If you're looking to please that old tongue
simply twist it inside like you're young;
just be sure that your wife
is consenting to do it with you
and that she's not engaged in a stew
or you'll stir up great strife.

[Larry]

Stir up strife and some think you are great
but most folks you will alienate
with your crass attitude.
Why not be a peacekeeper instead
by remembering what Jesus said;
you don’t have to be rude.

[JustDaniel]

You don't have to be rude to offend
if you're never PC. In the end
you'll find someone's been pissed.
Are you twittering still every day?
It is time that you put it away;
simply try to resist.

[Larry]

Simply try to resist and you’ll fail,
it takes effort if you would excel
in almost anything.
After every attempt at your goal
you’ll gain virtues that people extol
and endeavors take wing.

[JustDaniel]

For John Glenn, his endeavors took wing
after doing almost anything;
he's a truly great man.
He was famous for floating around
the whole globe, way up off of the ground;
he had many a fan.

[Larry]

She had many a fan to employ
when she danced on the stage. Men enjoy
watching her move her hips
but each one’s fondest wish won’t come true
for the feathers are held with good glue
and not one of them slips.

[Larry]

One slip-knot may solve all of our ills
if it’s used properly when one kills
like they did way out west.
Empty prisons with all their appeals
of insanity’s plea when blood spills
at the hangman’s behest.

[JustDaniel]

When they hissed at the hangman he smiled
since he lapped it all up when reviled;
he just tended his ropes.
He constructed the gallows with glee
since the felons were no longer to free;
there would be no elopes.

[Larry]

Can’t elope when you don’t have a car
and your thumb won’t get you very far
so you might as well wed.
You’d look bad dressed in feathers and tar
and you don’t want your balls in a jar
like her daddy has said.

[JustDaniel]

If her daddy likes balls in a jar
buying marbles won't go very far
making him fond of you.
You had best get your steed out of town
with/without her in her bridal gown
lest your gonads be through.

[Larry]

Ole

If you’re through with your gonads at last
and some guy has admired your repast
and has asked for the same
but is told by the short-order cook
that there’s only one serving, but look,
come tomorrow and claim
the day’s breakfast but be first in line.
Sure enough, when they opened at nine
the guy asked for it all.
When his breakfast came with a surprise
for the gonads he got were half-size
and he asked, “Why so small?”
He was told of the daily bull fight
where the loser was dressed out each night.
The cook said with a grin,
“What you saw yesterday on that plate
was a matador’s triumph; he’s great
but sometimes, the bulls win.

[JustDaniel]

When a guy's full of bull he may win
all the arguments where they drink gin
and the far stronger stuff.
But if he is debating while sober
he'll be taking from June to October
just to have a rebuff.

[Larry]

If you have to rebuff your old heap
‘cause the wax that you used was real cheap
and would not hold a shine
I’d suggest let Earl Scheib do his stuff
with a paint-job you don’t have to buff
while you sing Old Lang Syne.

[JustDaniel]

If you sing Auld Lang Syne at this hour
then I think last night's pints you empower
to hang over too long;
if you keep up this pitiful folly
we could soon see you sucking a lolly
while you're doffing a thong!

[Larry]

While you’re doffing a thong on the beach
look for signs so the women won’t screech
when your junk’s hanging loose
as one part by the shore is reserved
for the nudist and if you’d observed
all the rest’s public use.

[JustDaniel]

If you use public places to rest
you can sit there and grunt with great zest;
you don't care what they think.
But for me I must be a bit careful
where I sit for relief and be bareful;
I'm afraid of the stink.

[Larry]

“I’m afraid of the skink,” said the child
who liked animals out in the wild
and enjoyed giving chase
but when caught, most of them shed their tail
in your hand and fears rise without fail;
“It’s a snake with no face!”