Southern Zodiac Signs, All in good fun! Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

!
I'm a GRIT!

WHAT IS YOUR SOUTHERN SIGN?

Some Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that
read them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the
people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners understand:

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous
influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of
his influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you try.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make
something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of
things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything.
Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner
hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their
right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch to
recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key
words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in
the idea. It's not going to be easy. You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM (April 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked  tendency
to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you
become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is
probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You are a
rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night
person and mind your own business.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're hanging around
the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to
the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be
particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in "the melting
pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them.
Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As
far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from
Crawfish. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's
whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy
people to understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you
prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked by
most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle
together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so
maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go?
Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time.
If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you
well. You are pure in heart.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those
who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your
personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply
because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right
ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a
charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always
pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well
with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the
vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit
next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon
Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite
gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some
roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned
with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about
today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns.
You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another
somewhat kinky mating possibility.

[Guest_Zeus˛_*]

Lor
I am BOILED PEANUTS.
Suppose thats OK.
Funny thing is old man Zeusą is the same.
Larry      

[Cleo_Serapis]

Lor
I am BOILED PEANUTS.
Suppose thats OK.
Funny thing is old man Zeusą is the same.
Larry      

Now AIN'T That an Interesting thing?!  :snowman:

These are funny!

~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Guest_Jox_*]

Well, well well,

And they say I'm off my rocker. (I am, of course... still)

Apparently I am a Butter Bean. Problem is, ever since childhood I haven't liked them.

"Moon Pies" presumably contain cheese. I quite like cheese pasties!

So, I think that I'm square-pegging (what's new?)

Though I have not heard of all the classifications (eg Boll Weevil (though obviously an insect), Chitlin, Moon Pies, Crawfish etc) I found this most amusing.

Moreover, I have never read a "real" horoscope (though a couple of people have insisted reading them to me!) But this clever alternative seems rather topping. Moon Pie topping, maybe?

Well done and I shall forever be a butter bean. The shame!

J.

[Athena]

Heyyyy Lori,

I'm a BOILED  PEANUT!  Sheeeeeeeesshhh .... a woman tried to always be warm and feminine and strong, then someone comes along informing you all your efforts are for naught, 'cause I'm a boiled peanut!  

Actually, the meaning of it seems to hit me pretty closely.  Go figure!   Larry, Daniel, David, and I are all the same nuts!  Now, I'm not too surprised about that!    :rofl:

Thanks for the giggle, gf,

Hugs,
Dolly    :pharoah:

[Cleo_Serapis]

Now now James and Dolly.

I find this one a RIOT actually!

These are making me HUNGRY!  :pirate:  :oops:  :upside:

Well, if ya can't beat 'em, ya might as well eat 'em!

Cheers!
~Cleo  :pharoah:  :ornament: