 Senescent (Temporary Revisions), Wizard & Faery Awards ~ Triolet |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
 Apr 16 07, 14:54
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#21
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 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 764 Joined: 18-October 04 From: Sabah, Malaysia Member No.: 80 Writer of: Poetry  |
Liz,
This is short but it's chewy--it makes you want to go over it again and again! Oh how I love Triolets. A few likely titles: Vegetating, A Carrot. A Watcher… But since you have a list , My choice is the senescent.  Aggie ·······  ······· |
  
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Apr 16 07, 21:41
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#22
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 Ornate Oracle Posts: 3,822 Joined: 3-August 03 From: Florida Member No.: 10 Real Name: Elizabeth Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori Kanter |
QUOTE (Eisa @ Apr 15 07, 05:35 ) [snapback]94237[/snapback] Wow Liz! -- I have arrived late here and have nothing to say except this is powerful and well crafted (and I can relate!) Thanks Snow, I know you certainly can relate. I am still rethinking several lines for improvement. Over all, it is heading in the direction that makes me smile! :) To merely exist ... sitting in silence, counting down days until one becomes none has weakened my will. It makes no sense to merely exist, sitting. In Silence, I watch the lives of others, experience their triumphs from afar. What have I done to merely exist, sitting in silence counting down days? I have become no one. That last line is awesome, poweful and poignant! I think I prefer Senescent for the title for its conciseness. Great work Liz! Hugs Snow  Thank you. I also like that final line, I really wanted to do the twist between 'none/no one" I have been teetering back and forth between 'Counting down Days" and Senescent. I am glad for your feedback, I hold it in high regards! :) Big Hugs, Liz ······· ·······Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!
MM Award Winner           |
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Apr 16 07, 21:46
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#23
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 3,822 Joined: 3-August 03 From: Florida Member No.: 10 Real Name: Elizabeth Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori Kanter |
QUOTE (Kathy @ Apr 15 07, 06:18 ) [snapback]94238[/snapback] I keep coming back to this. The others have added great feedback,and you havr esponded in an admirable way. Congratulations. I thik you have a winner here! For what its worth, I prefer 'watch.' There's an element of passivity in 'watch' that shows this person's distance from active participation in life. I've voted for a title too. But by any title, the poem is a great! Hugs, K Hi Kathy, Yes I like watch too for the same reasons. It seems dull, but then again, it emphasizes the subjects dull life, sitting and watching the world live. Thank you for your efforts with this poem. It has come a long way with the help of my friends in this thread. Thank you so much for all you've put into it. Hugs, Liz ······· ·······Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!
MM Award Winner |
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Apr 16 07, 21:48
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#24
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 3,822 Joined: 3-August 03 From: Florida Member No.: 10 Real Name: Elizabeth Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori Kanter |
QUOTE (Aggiel @ Apr 16 07, 15:54 ) [snapback]94336[/snapback] Liz, This is short but it's chewy--it makes you want to go over it again and again! Oh how I love Triolets. A few likely titles: Vegetating, A Carrot. A Watcher… But since you have a list , My choice is the senescent. Aggie Hi Aggie, It is great to see you! :) I think I am going to go with Senescent, and change the title on a previous poem. I think this is complimented more by the title than my previous poem. :) Best Wishes, and Great to see you and read you! Liz ······· ·······Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!
MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Kathy_* |
Apr 17 07, 01:57
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#25
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Apr 17 07, 12:46 ) [snapback]94346[/snapback] QUOTE (Kathy @ Apr 15 07, 06:18 ) [snapback]94238[/snapback] I keep coming back to this. The others have added great feedback,and you havr esponded in an admirable way. Congratulations. I thik you have a winner here! For what its worth, I prefer 'watch.' There's an element of passivity in 'watch' that shows this person's distance from active participation in life. I've voted for a title too. But by any title, the poem is a great! Hugs, K Hi Kathy, Yes I like watch too for the same reasons. It seems dull, but then again, it emphasizes the subjects dull life, sitting and watching the world live. Thank you for your efforts with this poem. It has come a long way with the help of my friends in this thread. Thank you so much for all you've put into it. Hugs, Liz Well Liz, you deserve every bit of effort given. You have certainly helped me. In lots of ways. I want to nominate this one for People's Choice. I know you want to submit it, so the IPB is out, but would it be OK if I put it forward for voting here? And how do I do that? K |
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Apr 25 07, 10:42
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#26
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 3,822 Joined: 3-August 03 From: Florida Member No.: 10 Real Name: Elizabeth Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori Kanter |
Thank You Kathy,
Oh I didn't even see that this had a reply. I am so sorry - I've been running like crazy with off line stuff. I am beaming with joy and cannot say how much your words mean to me. Thank you. I am not sure how the voting goes for People's Choice - The awards is something that Lori handles and unfortunately, I don't know that answers... I will ask Lori! Big Hugs, Liz ... ······· ·······Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!
MM Award Winner |
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May 5 07, 15:49
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#27
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Congrats Liz on your (first) faery award winning tile!
 Well done!   ~Cleo :) ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner   |
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Jun 3 07, 11:21
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#28
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Congrats Liz on your wizard award winning tile!
Well done!  ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Cathy_* |
Jun 3 07, 18:27
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#29
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Congratulations on your Wizard and Faery Awards Liz! Well done~
Cathy |
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