Egyptian Garden, Biddolph Grange***, REVISION 2 Options

[Eisa]

Egyptian Garden, Biddolph Grange (revision 2)

Bluebirds unfurl their wings
to flank a jonquil sun
above the entrance.
Twin sphinxes guard this door,
among neatly clipped yews.

We creep into the mastaba,
spooked by a twilit passage,
where it's difficult to focus.
In the ensanguine chamber ahead
a grotesque figure squats.

Ape, attendant to Thoth,
bathed in blood light waits -
sculpted in feathered cape
with buckle fastening.
Long ears frame a hog-like face.
Nostrils flare; mouth grimaces.

Returning down the tunnel
we will rediscover brightness-
yet on the left is a short-cut
up steep stone steps that vanish
into darkness, offering a portal
into the unknown.

--------------------------------------------
L1 was 'extend their wings'

---------------------------------------------------------
Egyptian Garden, Biddolph Grange (revision 1)

We glance at the jonquil sun
above the doorway, where
blue birds stretch their wings.
Twin sphinxes guard this entry.
among neatly clipped yews

Spooked by twilight inside, we creep
through the mastaba entrance
to explore a long passage.
It's difficult to focus through the gloom
In the bloodied chamber ahead
a grotesque figure squats.

Attendant to the Egyptian god,
Ape of Thoth is bathed in crimson light,
sculpted in feathered cape with buckle
fastening. Long ears frame a pig-like face.
Nostrils flare; mouth opens menacingly

To return down the tunnel
we will rediscover brightness,
Or left is a short-cut up
steep stone steps that disappear
into darkness, offering a portal
to an unknown place.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Egyptian Garden, Biddolph Grange (original)

Unnerved by spooky twilight we creep
through the mastaba entrance
to explore a long passage.
Stepping in from sunlight, is difficult
to focus. In the bloodied chamber
ahead a grotesque figure squats.

Bathed in crimson from a concealed skylight,
Ape of Thoth, attendant to the Egyptian god,
is sculpted in feathered cape with buckle
fastening. Long ears frame his pig-like face
where nostrils flare. His mouth opens
in a menacing grimace.

Shall we return down the tunnel into brightness,
where twin sphinxes guard the entry
among neatly clipped yews and once again
glance at the yellow sun above the doorway,
where blue birds stretch their wings?

Or do we turn left and short-cut up
steep stone steps that disappear
into darkness, offering a portal
to an unknown place?

[greenwich]

The choice, between the dark recess of exploration or clear skies of safety for this Sphinx themed Park.

[Eisa]

Thanks Antony. It was an interesting visit.

Eira

[Psyche]

What an interesting poem, Eisa!

Love it all the way through. Did you visit this theme park recently?

Apart from the descriptive bits, there's a background of choosing between light and darkness. Same as the people in Plato's cavern. Those who chose light were blinded by it, as they'd been so long in the cavern. A metaphor for knowledge and ignorance, truth and falseness.

But your theme park is Egyptian! The same universal questions pop up in most civilizations.

It's great that you're posting again. I'll return to re-read. It merits another reading.

Syl

[Eisa]

What an interesting poem, Eisa!

Love it all the way through. Did you visit this theme park recently?

Hi Syl,

It's not a theme park, but part of the gardens at Biddulph Grange owned by the National Trust

Apart from the descriptive bits, there's a background of choosing between light and darkness. Same as the people in Plato's cavern. Those who chose light were blinded by it, as they'd been so long in the cavern. A metaphor for knowledge and ignorance, truth and falseness.

Glad you noticed the light and darkness metaphor too

But your theme park is Egyptian! The same universal questions pop up in most civilizations.

Biddolph gardens are very unusual and have an Egyptian garden, a Chinese garden and an Italian garden (amongst other things)

It's great that you're posting again. I'll return to re-read. It merits another reading.

Thanks Syl. I wrote this last summer after a visit to Biddolph Grange and I was all set to write about other places we'd visited - but I seem to have been too busy to get my muse going again.

Eira
Syl

[Psyche]

Back at last, Eisa. Britain has such fantastic National Trust parks, and these Biddulph Grange gardens owned by them make me want to hop on a plane and go see!!

I wonder whether I'll ever visit Britain again...

And I also hope your muse returns so that you can bring us more poems about Britain's lovely parks, gardens, castles, stately homes and all the rest.

Syl

[Eisa]

Back at last, Eisa. Britain has such fantastic National Trust parks, and these Biddulph Grange gardens owned by them make me want to hop on a plane and go see!!

I wonder whether I'll ever visit Britain again...

And I also hope your muse returns so that you can bring us more poems about Britain's lovely parks, gardens, castles, stately homes and all the rest.

Syl

I hope you will visit Britain again, Syl and we could visit one of the NT parks together!

I am working on a poem about Maggie at the moment - about the first time I met her. Hoping to finish it soon.

Eira

[Psyche]

Yes, it would be wonderful to visit some NT parks together!

I'd also like to see my brother and his family again. It's been so long. They live in Everton, near Doncaster, so it's not so very far from you.

Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to your poem about meeting your dog Maggie. Can't wait!

Recently, I've been reading about the cruel treatment that race horses receive at the end of their useful life. I believe it was in the USA, but it's probably widespread. When one loves animals, it's impossible to grasp the mentality of these money seeking, heartless people. And horses are not so easy to place as dogs and cats.

Hugs, Syl

[Eisa]

A revision, Syl.

I'll reply to your comments n Maggie later.

Hugs
Eira

[Psyche]

Just read your revision, Eira. It's improved a lot, maybe it's perfect now...except that I don't fancy bluebirds extending their wings!

Maybe spread, unfurl, unfold? Flutter? Did you read "The Bluebird" when you were growing up? I so loved it, must have read it dozens of times.

You need to put a comma in S2, L2, after twilit passage.

Love your ending. So true in life, as well.

offering a portal
into the unknown.

Syl

A revision, Syl.

I'll reply to your comments n Maggie later.

Hugs
Eira

[Eisa]

Hi Syl,

I like your suggestion of 'unfurl' and have gone with that. I think this might be finished!

Hugs

Eira