 Blech, (You've Been Warned) |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
| Guest__* |
 Aug 9 03, 08:55
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#1
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Blech
It's just another dark morning Not much another black sunrise These dreams these dreams are everywhere There is a glow that is chewing my mind is falling through cobwebs nightmares night screams they're everywhere Sleep sweet Sweet dreams Sleep deep © Harlequinn Eyes 8/9/2003 |
  
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| Guest_Zeus˛_* |
Aug 9 03, 19:58
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#2
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hqe,
ain't it a crock, getting up on the wrong side of the bed. Just another lousy day. Fun . Larry/ z2 |
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Aug 10 03, 01:43
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#3
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Egyptian  Posts: 427 Joined: 5-August 03 From: Oregon, USA Member No.: 8 Real Name: Dolly Writer of: Poetry |
Hi there, Harley!
Welcome to our cradle of ancient civilizations and lores! Have heard only the best about you and share in lori's delight to have you as a member. I'm looking forward to getting to know you a bit through your poetry. Now about this poem: you know all of us wake up some days feeling like this. However, the difference between you and me would be that I might pull the covers up over my head for another hour or so of snooze time, hoping to recover in the dream process. I like the way you've chosen to describe your feelings and can truly relate to them... much more so lately than ever, but I'm still out here kicking aside the depression demons and fighting for at least equal ground!  Glad to have you here, Blessings, Athena |
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Aug 10 03, 10:17
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#4
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 Egyptian Posts: 431 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Lee's Summit, MO, USA Member No.: 5 Real Name: Butch Writer of: Poetry & Prose |
Never had a bad morning, I figure if I wake up and see myself in the mirror, I already have accomplished a major feat.
Course after seeing myself in the mirror, that is another story. Different style, interesting. Cleo commented before about your style, so I'll leave alone, especially since I have the grace of a Missouri Mule. See ya around. Atila ·······  ······· |
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Aug 10 03, 17:25
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#5
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 Ornate Oracle Posts: 3,822 Joined: 3-August 03 From: Florida Member No.: 10 Real Name: Elizabeth Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori Kanter |
Hello and Welcome, Harlequinneyes
Boy did I enjoy this... The title, though not as inviting as the poem itself, fit perfectly after first read. Nice! There is a nice punch with the short lines, like a boxer ~ I didn't care too much for the spaces between lines... not sure if there was a purpose for that! Just a nibble to follow, but thank you for sharing this with us... I think it is universally relative, at one point or another! Sincerely, Liz QUOTE Blech It's just another dark morning Not much another black sunrise These dreams these dreams are everywhere There is a glow that is chewing Perhaps another word other than "chewing" maybe "gnawing" my mind is falling through cobwebs I liked the double take from chewing/my mind/is falling through cobwebs. I am not sure what some would call the technique, but I think it worked well here. nightmares night screams they're everywhere Sleep sweet Sweet dreams Sleep deep © Harlequinn Eyes Good ending. A lullabye tone that soothes the dark intention. I liked this. 8/9/2003 
······· ·······Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!
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Aug 11 03, 07:38
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#6
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 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
Hi harle
I like the poetry form 2 2 3 2 3 2 2 2 2 4 2 4 Like dreamy thoughts. Nightmare stuff when a heavy night on the mead cuts in :laugh: :) May the force of the universe be with you  Arnfinn ······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner   |
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