Renga, Japanese form Options

[JustDaniel]

hmmm... Sounds like a good idea to me... and I see that my last tongue-in-cheek follow-up was a bit too outlandish to include in this to be dished up with the rest of this little salad?

Then how about this?

in cider celebrations
warmly fomenting joy

Lightly, Daniel  :sun:

[Cleo_Serapis]

hmmm... Sounds like a good idea to me... and I see that my last tongue-in-cheek follow-up was a bit too outlandish to include in this to be dished up with the rest of this little salad?

Then how about this?

in cider celebrations
warmly fomenting joy

Lightly, Daniel  

Daniel
Do you mean FERMENTING??? Just checking before we conclude this haiku-ish style poem?

Either this can be the end or perhaps another couplet that includes our title to summarize the poem??

HUGS!
Cleo  

Maybe something like:


Autumn's abundance. as a single end too?

[Cybele]

Hi Lori and Daniel,    

I think Daniel's couplet followed by Lori's suggestion of a single last line comprising

Autumn's abundance

will finish this off nicely.

Shall we do it???

I have to say I have really enjoyed composing this shared poem, even if we didn't quite get it right.  

After posting, I suggest that perhaps Lori could restart a tile for the true Renga  with her suggested stanza - and to avoid confusion invite either Daniel or me to add the next stanza according to the rules of Renga, and then carry on in this way. To avoid extraneous comments (which we will surely wish to make,) blocking up the tile, perhaps we could PM comments to each other, together with any queries we might have regarding form. That way we can keep the tile purely for the progressing Renga which is going to be long enough anyway.

What say you?
Love

Grace



P.S I have no wish to exclude other MM members from this form but feel that if more than three of us try to write it we will get into all sorts of trouble.  It could be suggested that any other members interested could team up to form Renga groups perhaps?

[Cleo_Serapis]

HI Grace!

I think we SHOULD interact here in Karnak so others will learn and grow as we hope to as this is the place for the interactions. What say you, Daniel~san?

HUGS!
Lori

[Cybele]

AUTUMN'S ABUNDANCE

Tumbling sienna
dances gracefully downward
in colorful tints.

Autumn winds build compost piles
between unsuspecting walls.

Laughter fills the air
as raucous children create
bright eddies with busy feet.

Industrious whistling dad
smilingly rakes in laughter.

Apples are cored, milled
into hot, refreshing drinks
worth sipping slowly..

giggling, out-of-breath siblings
inhale two cups in minutes.

Indian corn sways
on whispers of windy knocks
at the entrance home.

The glorious golden bauble
slides down a cerulean sky

to touch a carpet
filled with emerald treasures
groomed with love and care.

In the garden, a bonfire
crackles - like witches laughing!

Birds gossip loudly,
cattle graze contentedly,
and crimson hues bathe the land.

In cider celebrations,
warmly fermenting joy

Autumn's abundance.

Lori and Daniel, I have taken the liberty of finishing this  to post as a piece in Homer's, so that we can start a true Renga. I do hope this is OK with you?


Love

Grace

[Cleo_Serapis]

Thanks Grace!

I've added another description of Renga to the original tile on Page 1.... :)

[Cybele]

That's grand Lori,  :sings:

Looking forward to getting started with your original verse.

Back soon. Off to bed.

Love

Grace