Homophobia, 10 word challenge Options

[Guest_Nina_*]

Homophobia

Hedge of spectators
witnesses my departure.
Many eyes follow me;
hostility palpable
in silent stares,
as I board the train,
anxious to flee
this antediluvian society
that regards me
as alien from
foreign planet.


I cross the ocean
seeking tolerance
away from abuse hurled:

“Pansy”
“Nancy Boy”

unbearable slurs

words used:
hedge, eyes, follow, train, antediluvian, society, foreign, planet, ocean, pansy

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Nina,

This poem addresses not just homophobia but all discriminatory practices.

Homophobia, Racism, Ageism, Sexism, Disabablism (new word?) etc - all vile because they discriminate on grounds of what we are.

I'm not greatly against jokes because all people are the but of some jokes sometimes (I know I am) so, provided the jokes are balanced and not nasty I think it not unreasonable that people should take a few. (I used to listen to Eric's jokes about Ern's short, fat, hairy legs and I'm shorter and fatter than Ern was - but I think such jokes are reasonable enough. (Funny actually). But some people are not joking. Some people are nasty and vicious. This poem addresses the damage they do.

Apropos the challenge - well done.

I enjoyed the poem, Nina - though it does have a slight feeling of the 1950s about it. (Which is not bad - just pointing-out).

Thanks, J.

Now the poem... Suggestions...

Homophobia (Stark, bold title - good)

Hedge of spectators
witnesses my departure.
Many eyes follow {me};
hostility palpable
in silent stares{,{[.]
{as} I board {the}[a] train,
anxious to flee
{this} antediluvian society
{that}[which] regards me
as alien from
foreign planet.

Are you aware of the rhyme there? me / flee / society / me (again)

I cross the ocean (re-jig suggested)
seeking tolerance
away from abuse hurled:

“Pansy”
“Nancy Boy”

unbearable slurs


To make the above more powerful, what about:

I am:
crossing the ocean;
seeking tolerance;
leaving hurled abuse...

“Pansy”
“Nancy Boy”

unbearable.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi James

This poem addresses not just homophobia but all discriminatory practices.
indeed.  I would only need to change 3 words and the title to adapt the poem to any other "ism" that is listed below.  It just happens to be homophobia because Pansy was one of the 10 words.

Homophobia, Racism, Ageism, Sexism, Disabablism (new word?) etc - all vile because they discriminate on grounds of what we are.
absolutely

I'm not greatly against jokes because all people are the but of some jokes sometimes (I know I am) so, provided the jokes are balanced and not nasty I think it not unreasonable that people should take a few. (I used to listen to Eric's jokes about Ern's short, fat, hairy legs and I'm shorter and fatter than Ern was - but I think such jokes are reasonable enough. (Funny actually). But some people are not joking. Some people are nasty and vicious. This poem addresses the damage they do.
There is a fine line between a joke being funny or nasty.  It works if you yourself are the one making the joke about your own race, age, sex, religion, height, weight etc, but if someone else is does it, then it isn't funny and can be quite viscious as you say.  An example is the comedy "Goodness Gracious Me"  It is funny because it is the Indian comedians making a joke about themselves and the idiosyncracies (spelling?) of their own community.  If a white commedian tries the same jokes, then it can be seen as racist and isn't funny.

Apropos the challenge - well done.

I enjoyed the poem, Nina - though it does have a slight feeling of the 1950s about it. (Which is not bad - just pointing-out).
Well spotted.  The 1950s feel (or perhaps even earlier) was intentional. Nowadays I would like to think we are more tolerant and wouldn't need to go abroad to find acceptance and of course nowadays we'd drive or fly, rather than go by train and boat.   Actually when I wrote the, I had in my mind Quentin Crisp.

Homophobia (Stark, bold title - good)
that's me - straight to the point  

Hedge of spectators
witnesses my departure.
Many eyes follow {me};
hostility palpable
in silent stares{,{[.]
{as} I board {the}[a] train,
anxious to flee
{this} antediluvian society
{that}[which] regards me
as alien from
foreign planet.
yes, no problem with your suggestions

Are you aware of the rhyme there? me / flee / society / me (again)
well, I wasn't aware of rhyme till you pointed it out.  I do have this knack of unintentionally rhyming and I just don't see or hear it. I will leave it in though.

To make the above more powerful, what about:

I am:
crossing the ocean;
seeking tolerance;
leaving hurled abuse...

“Pansy”
“Nancy Boy”

unbearable.

Thanks, I'll think it over.

Thanks for the suggestions and discussion.

Nina

[Guest__*]

Dear Nina,

Quentin Crisp, who when older, described himself as one of the staely homos of England ....

I still rave about "hedge of spectators" - so precis, that, and probably never before observed !

Love
Alan

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Alan

I still rave about "hedge of spectators" - so precis, that, and probably never before observed !
OK, I think it is time I confessed. I feel a bit dishonest.   "Hedge of Spectators" wasn't my invention.  I was trying to find a different angle for using hedge and for inspiration I looked up hedge of dictionary.com and as part of one of their definitions was this phrase which I couldn't resist.

sorry Alan

Nina

[Guest__*]

Dear Nina,

OK, but it was YOU that brought it into my universe.

I mean, how did you KNOW you'd find the perfect phrase right there ?

So I still admire ....

Love
Alan

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Alan

I didn't know what I would find looking up the word, but I struck lucky

Nina

[Psyche]

Hi Nina !  

I'm wishing I'd participated in Alan's challenge, but no time...
You've all had enormous fun and been very creative, I can see that.  :cheer:

When i read your poem, Nina, the person who came to mind was none other than Oscar Wilde. Probably influenced by the movie with Stephen Fry, which I thought excellent (now i often see bits of it on T.V., they keep showing it over and over, and i like it better each time).  

So I went further back than the 50's, sorry...! Wilde, of course, bravely chose to present himself at his trial, rather than cross the Chanel to France. But he had to go there anyway, after his release.

I'm a bit afraid that homophobia (and other discriminations) are on the rise again. Let us hope that people will come to their senses...

I like your 10-word challenge very much indeed, Nina. No nits.

And yes, I agree that the question of jokes is a difficult one, there is a thin red line that should not be crossed, otherwise it becomes aggressive and incites to violence.

Hugs,
Sylvia

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Sylvia

I'm wishing I'd participated in Alan's challenge, but no time...
You've all had enormous fun and been very creative, I can see that.
It's not too late to join in the fun, so if you feel like it, have a go.

When i read your poem, Nina, the person who came to mind was none other than Oscar Wilde. Probably influenced by the movie with Stephen Fry, which I thought excellent (now i often see bits of it on T.V., they keep showing it over and over, and i like it better each time).  

So I went further back than the 50's, sorry...! Wilde, of course, bravely chose to present himself at his trial, rather than cross the Chanel to France. But he had to go there anyway, after his release.
It is very interesting  that my poem fits in with the story of Oscar Wilde.  I haven't seen the film with Stephen Fry so I'm fairly ignorant about him.  This poem wasn't set specifically in 1950s, could be 30s, 40s or 50s so no need to apologise.

I'm a bit afraid that homophobia (and other discriminations) are on the rise again. Let us hope that people will come to their senses...
I hope so too  :hsdance:

I like your 10-word challenge very much indeed, Nina. No nits.
Thank you  :grinning:

thanks for your thoughts and comments, they are much appreciated

Nina

[Cybele]

Good morning again Nina,  

Yeah! I made it!  

This is very powerful. An attack on intolerance with which I truly empathise.

I too. also thought of Quentin Crisp and the 'Naked Civil Servant'.

(Apropos of nothing in your poem, simply a revived memory from watching this on TV) I was greatly amused by a remark made by Quentin when somebody visited his home in London. He said to a reporter who noticed dusty surfaces, "The key is not to dust at all, after four years you just don't notice it anymore." (Such a sensible attitude to housework! )

"Hedge of Spectators" wasn't my invention.  I was trying to find a different angle for using hedge and for inspiration I looked up hedge of dictionary.com and as part of one of their definitions was this phrase which I couldn't resist.

I noticed this reply to Alan and just wanted to say that nearly all modern fiction writers have used other people's words for the titles of their works Nina, Agatha Christie was a past Master at it and very many other of my favourite authors have been inspired by the words of others. Nothing wrong with that in my book.

Thank you for the read Nina, disturbing and very clever.

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Hi Nina,

There has been so much going on recently on MM. I saw this in the challenge thread and thought it was excellent; the words are effortlessly placed and the message so powerful. A strong, stark poem.

I didn't get time to have a go at this challenge, but did note the words for when I took Ellie to dance class ... but then I prefer to work online.

No 'nits', just dropped by to say I appreciated this.

Fran

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Grace

I'm so pleased you found your way back here and I'm glad you also thought of Quentin Crisp.

(Apropos of nothing in your poem, simply a revived memory from watching this on TV) I was greatly amused by a remark made by Quentin when somebody visited his home in London. He said to a reporter who noticed dusty surfaces, "The key is not to dust at all, after four years you just don't notice it anymore." (Such a sensible attitude to housework! )
very sensible.  I hate housework.  The trouble is that I don't think I could last out the four years till I don't notice the dust anymore.  Apart from that, my daughters would have too much fun writing messages in the dust.

I noticed this reply to Alan and just wanted to say that nearly all modern fiction writers have used other people's words for the titles of their works Nina, Agatha Christie was a past Master at it and very many other of my favourite authors have been inspired by the words of others. Nothing wrong with that in my book.
Thanks for this Grace.  I just couldn't let Alan go on thinking that I had created the phrase.  It made me feel dishonest.

Nina

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Fran

I saw this in the challenge thread and thought it was excellent; the words are effortlessly placed and the message so powerful. A strong, stark poem.

Thank you.

I didn't get time to have a go at this challenge, but did note the words for when I took Ellie to dance class ... but then I prefer to work online.
it's not too late to have a go should you wish.

Anyway thanks for your kind words.

Nina

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Nina!

WOW

I can only echo Fran when she stated:

the words are effortlessly placed and the message so powerful. A strong, stark poem.

I agree - and to think this was mused from a times ten challenge - quite an accomplishment and an accomplished tile too...  :claps:

Cool!  
~Cleo  

[Guest_Nina_*]

Thanks Lori

Much appreciated



Nina