Love Letters Options

[JLY]

LOVE LETTERS

We often become overwrought
attempting to convey
our most profound thoughts.
Smoldering embers of tenderness
well up inside our soul,
leaving us giddily breathless.

No longer just a fantasy,
our fervid infatuation
carries us to an amative ecstasy.
Our romantically charged souls
resonate with beloved melodies
of velvety soft harmonic echoes.

Letters written from the heart,
express fond tender feelings
we sincerely wish to impart.
We espouse charmed sentiments,
devoutly portraying
our passion’s fiery ascent.

Authoring one’s heartfelt rapture
in gentle loving words
moves us closer to love’s overture.
Threads of intimate expression
are affectionately woven
into lyrical verses of adoration.

Lilting lines of stardust moments
fill fervent psychic pages,
becoming our scripted testament.
Declaring one’s genuine devotion
shouldn’t be just a footnote,
but the deepest theme of our emotions.

Exuberant sensitivities we’ve shared
infuse our horizons
with avid yearnings most revered.
An honest message with no innuendo
thrusts our spirits heavenward,
to the ultimate amorous crescendo.

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hello John,

"amative" - a new word for me. In fact, the first on-line dictionary which I consulted was equally ignorant. But I see it means "inclined to love" - good use of an unusual word. Kudos to you, dear chap.

I was less unsure about this phrase...

"Letters written from the heart" -

That is, I understood it - only too well. I thought it was somewhat cliche. I see heart is necessary for the rhyme-scheme but I feel the rest of the line could be improved.

You next verse's opening line, too, rather glitched with me...

"Lilting lines of stardust moments" -

Not a cliche, just (I felt) rather OTT. Then again, this is not my love-letter! I wondered, if my coming down to Earth rather, could you improve that?

But your next opening line is quite disgraceful...

"Exuberant sensitivities we’ve shared" -

Please delete it immediately; pretend you never wrote it. Thanks! I want to use it and claim it as my own. OK with you? The juxtaposition of those opening two words is excellent.

As regards the closing -

"thrusts our spirits heavenward,
to the ultimate amorous crescendo."

A brilliant spiritual and sexual way to end.

I cannot write in your style at all (wish I could) so this has been hard to crit for me. A few things glitched (as mentioned, above). However, in the main I thought this was an excellent evocation of a love letter; well-written with some tremendous parts and, as a whole, a very good poem.

Thanks, James.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi John.

Just a quick observation and then I'll be back in to scan the words more closely later, How about making this poem's stanzas TRIPLETS?

I believe in that way, each sentence becomes its own statement.  

Food for thought my friend.    

Cheers!  
~Cleo  

[JLY]

James,
I have come to respect your opinions and I appreciate your most helpful comments.
I am hopeful that some of the ladies will respond, cause  I would like to get a feminine perspective---if I get their approval, then I know I have something good.
JLY

[JLY]

Cleo,
You have a great idea, that I didn't think of. I may possibly choose that format in a future revision.
JLY

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Good love letters are hard to write.  

You've had no problem with this one though.

"Our romantically charged souls
resonate with beloved melodies
of velvety soft harmonic echoes."

I wish someone wrote things like that for me!  lol

Cathy

[Cybele]

Good morning John,

'Who said romance is dead'? Any woman would be delighted to read such words of love and you have expressed some wonderful emotions here.

Nevertheless I had great trouble reading the piece since the rhyme confused me. I could not get the rhythm of the lines because the syllable count varied between 9 and 5 in the first verse alone and I didn't know quite how to read it John.  Had it been written in blank verse it would have been easier to follow.

I really loved the following sentiments

Smoldering embers of tenderness
well up inside our soul,
leaving us giddily breathless.


...beloved melodies
of velvety soft harmonic echoes.

Authoring one’s heartfelt rapture
in gentle loving words
moves us closer to love’s overture.

This, though is my favourite (with which I agree whole-heartedly)

An honest message with no innuendo
thrusts our spirits heavenward,
to the ultimate amorous crescendo.

Love

Grace

[JLY]

Cathy,
Thank you for your kind words.
JLY

[JLY]

Grace,
I know my rhythm is not crystal clear, but I am hopeful that the content of the message will override some of the shortcomings.  I am pleased that you found some lines that create some pleasant thoughts.
JLY