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Triolet, Poetic Form Exercise |
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Aug 6 03, 06:11
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Mosaic Master
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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The Triolet is a poetic form consisting of only 8 lines. Within a Triolet, the 1st, 4th, and 7th lines repeat, as do the 2nd and 8th lines.
The rhyme scheme is quite simple: ABaAabAB, capital letters representing the repeated lines.
As an exercise, I learned of the Triolet from Shadow Poetry recently and have come to respect the form a great deal.
You can write them in iambic tetrameter, or try it in pentameter where each line only has 10 syllables for an added challenge with 4 and 5 metrical feet, respectively, although not a requirement of the form.
The repeating lines do NOT have to be the same words per se, but MUST have the same SOUNDS..for example, line 1 could start with "I" and line 4 could start with "Eye".
Good luck!
An example for you from my first attempt at the triolet:
Fervor's Lust
In response to Percy Bysshe Shelley's "The Indian Serenade"
The night is filled with fervor's lust, where whispers of our love is told; and in this trance of forlorn trust, the night is filled with fervor's lust. Our climax swells with sun's slow thrust; Star's gleam is lost in sorrow's hold. The night is filled with fervor's lust, where whispers of our love is told.
Copyright © 2003 Lorraine M Kanter
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Aug 8 03, 05:57
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Mosaic Master
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Do you know who the 'she' is here?
Tears of Morning Dew
She gaits the edge of water's shore to drape the tears of morning dew; where meadows of the yellow soar, she gaits the edge of water's shore. Arise! Observe, from flowered floor, archaic stars ascend the blue. She gaits the edge of water's shore to drape the tears of morning dew.
© Lorraine M Kanter 27 June 2003
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Sep 26 03, 22:03
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Triolet: an eight line poem with the following pattern:
A B a - Rhymes with 1st line. A - Identical to 1st line. a - Rhymes with 1st line. b - Rhymes with 2nd line. A - Identical to 1st line. B - Identical to 2nd line.
Variations in this form may include altering the punctuation used in its refrains or using homonyms. While a refrain line should sound identical to the line it echoes, its meaning does not have to be fixed. Wordplay may enrich a Triolet.
For an excellent description of the form, see Conrad Geller's article on Triolet: http://www.writing-world.com/poetry/triolet.shtml
Here are a couple of mine to give you at least a taste of my personal take on the form:
Best-Laid Plans . . .
Pursue the things I want, avoiding pain; I only want the best! I have a plan . . . Adversity derails my dreams – again. “Pursue the things I want, avoiding pain,” a rumbling echo wakens; I complain. His gentle whisper stills this finite man: “Pursue the things I want, avoiding pain. I only want the best; I have a plan.”
© Daniel J Ricketts 06 July 2003
Exculpatory Thoughts
Exculpatory ! Thoughts may trouble thee; so never fear; look up! The Word is there. Thy diction nary stumbles on; there'll be exculpatory thoughts -- may trouble thee.
Thy dictionary stumbles on... “I'll be!” (Can’t charge me now with ignorance! Who’d dare?)
Exculpatory thoughts may trouble thee, so never fear look up; the word is there.
© Daniel J Ricketts 11 July 2003
. . . and this one cheats a little:
Ill Triolet
I’ll try! “Oh, let the lines just flow!” you say. That seems to work for you, but not for me. Perhaps in time I’ll write free verse; today I’ll triolet the lines. “Just flow!” you say? But how, without some form? It feels okay at times, but then I lose it. Help me see! “I’ll try; oh let the lines just flow!” You say that seems to work? . . . for you, but not for me.
© Daniel J Ricketts 05 July 2003
Now YOU give it a try! deLightedly, Daniel
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Sep 27 03, 04:29
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Oregon, USA
Member No.: 8
Real Name: Dolly
Writer of: Poetry
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My Goodness, Daniel!
Thank you so very much for your teaching and super singing samples!
However, I have a question: From your description of the triolet I recognize that in your first and third ones, but the second one is different again, is it not? Either that or I don't yet understand a triolet.
I don't think I'll try one because to tell you the truth, (I'll whisper it, I don't think I like this form of poem all that much.)
The other repeating poems you demonstrated some time back were the pantoum and the villanelle, and I doubt I'll attempt those either, but not for the same reason. I think these are simply too difficult for me at this level of my poetic education. If you remember the villenelle that I liked so much, about plowing your fields, I would invite you to post it here. I really loved that one. Maybe you could explain the rules for it, too? Would be super!
Thanks again, my friend,
Blessings, Dolly
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Guest_Jox_*
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Sep 27 03, 09:58
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Guest
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Thank you Daniel; much appreciated (and I do mean that despite my gripes).
Dolly... Why don't you like toilets? My reasons are (a) Not much liking form as a restriction but (in this particular case - b) The wasted lines in the repetition.
Daniel - why joys am I missing please? (ie what do you get from toilets I don't).
Sorry about the spelling I've given up trying on this one - my spell checker always beats me. I did teach it how to spell "toilet" as in poem but I taught it wrong apparently, so I'm sticking with "toilet".
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Guest__*
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Oct 5 03, 16:04
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Guest
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Each scripted line must change then move. The sentence shape must shift and flex, Yet stay within the rhyming groove. Each scripted line must change. Then move each word and gently hone. This rule applies though it may vex. Each scripted line must change then? Move and add some variation to the text.
A
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Oct 6 03, 07:26
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Mosaic Master
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Thanks super muchly (I make up my own words) Daniel, Athena and Jox for continuing our Triolet exercise! :dance:
I have merged the two separate Triolet threads into one here.
A special HELLO to "A" from Thebes! Welcome my old friend! :pharoah2
Cheers! ~Cleo :pharoah:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Oct 6 03, 07:27
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Mosaic Master
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Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (AkhenhatenII @ Oct. 05 2003, 17:04) Each scripted line must change then move. The sentence shape must shift and flex, Yet stay within the rhyming groove. Each scripted line must change. Then move each word and gently hone. This rule applies though it may vex. Each scripted line must change then? Move and add some variation to the text.
A Welcome to the Mosaic "A"! :pharoah2 :lovie: :cloud9:
Excellent triolet btw (with a lesson inside)! :sun:
Look forward to seeing more of your works!
Cheers! ~Cleo :pharoah:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest__*
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Oct 7 03, 05:17
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Guest
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Greetings Beloved Princess of the Nile.
I apologise for not seeiing the previous example.
I had sand in my eyes.
A
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Oct 7 03, 06:55
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Mosaic Master
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (AkhenhatenII @ Oct. 07 2003, 06:17) Greetings Beloved Princess of the Nile.
I apologise for not seeiing the previous example.
I had sand in my eyes.
A Ouchie Pharaoh!
I know the feeling - darn sand gets in my hair, eyes, skin....not good for the complexion! :jester:
:pharoah:
Now - about your triolet - is not line 8 supposed to match line 2???
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest__*
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Oct 7 03, 14:29
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Guest
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The one I posted was an Ancient Egyptian triolet. gulp!
Things havce evolved since then.
Each scripted line must change then move, and add some variation to the text. yet stay within the rhyming groove. Each scripted line must change. Then move each word and thus improve The sentence shape must shift and flex, Each scripted line must change then? Move and add some variation to the text.
Doesn't sound so poetic somehow.
A
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Oct 7 03, 14:42
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (AkhenhatenII @ Oct. 07 2003, 15:29) The one I posted was an Ancient Egyptian triolet. gulp!
Things havce evolved since then.
Each scripted line must change then move, and add some variation to the text. yet stay within the rhyming groove. Each scripted line must change. Then move each word and thus improve The sentence shape must shift and flex, Each scripted line must change then? Move and add some variation to the text.
Doesn't sound so poetic somehow.
A Ahh...perhaps if you tried some meter matching here it would help?
In a challenge that Aphrodie and I did (which is how I learned of Triolet) they added another layer of complexity by making us stick to an 8 syllable beat per line - I added my own compexity to that and made it iambic pentameter....
It sure made the 'flow' sound nicer when the words worked off each other.
Perhaps you can try this?
I scan below 8/10/8/8/6/8/8/10
Each scripted line must change then move, and add some variation to the text. yet stay within the rhyming groove. Each scripted line must change. Then move each word and thus improve The sentence shape must shift and flex, Each scripted line must change then? Move and add some variation to the text.
Perhaps a shift to make all lines 8 syllables first - then we can adjust the meter/accents?
Something like: Each scripted line must change then move, and add some rhythm to the text; yet stay within the rhyming groove. Each scripted line must change then move each word shall dance and thus improve. The sentence shape must shift and flex, Each scripted line must change then move and add some rhythm to the text.
Whatcha think? Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Feb 16 04, 14:35
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Referred By:Lori
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Just in case Tom is around still... this is merely a fantasy toying with the form... and by no stretch of the imagination autobiographical!
Alas, no date…
Alas, no date for my sweet lips to taste; perhaps my life ain’t even worth a fig. Those dromedary humps in arid waste… all ass… no date. For my sweet lips to taste unending liquid kisses, I’d shun haste to reach oasis love… yes, those unchaste attempts to grow a palm from but a twig… alas, no date for my sweet lips to taste; perhaps my life ain’t even worth a fig.
© M Lee Dickens’son 16 Feb 2004
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Feb 17 04, 19:49
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Mosaic Master
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QUOTE (Just Daniel @ Feb. 16 2004, 14:35) Just in case Tom is around still... this is merely a fantasy toying with the form... and by no stretch of the imagination autobiographical!
Alas, no date…
Alas, no date for my sweet lips to taste; perhaps my life ain’t even worth a fig. Those dromedary humps in arid waste… all ass… no date. For my sweet lips to taste unending liquid kisses, I’d shun haste to reach oasis love… yes, those unchaste attempts to grow a palm from but a twig… alas, no date for my sweet lips to taste; perhaps my life ain’t even worth a fig.
© M Lee Dickens’son 16 Feb 2004 Hi Daniel!
Tom will be so proud when he reads this one, your latest triolet masterpiece!
Our "Akh" has been having severe eye problems (as I'm sure you can relate) and promises to be back as soon as he can see well again without those dizzy spells.
I sure do miss him too!
a WONDERFUL piece here!
Cleo :pharoah2
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Feb 19 04, 17:19
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Thanks, Lori!
I posted it for crit too, if you care to kick it in the arse a bit.
sharin' deLight, Daniel :sun:
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Guest__*
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Feb 19 04, 17:44
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Guest
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Dear Daniel
"kick it in the arse"
AhA ! Brits (slang) rule UK ! (Not to mention the good ol' .....)
Love Alan
PS In the early days of cricket there were people who played the game, and others who were professionals at it - the Gentlemen and the Players
You, the word-player of all time, might yet graduate to becoming a word-gentleman !
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Jul 13 04, 13:14
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Ohio, USA
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Real Name: Susan Eckenrode
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Referred By:Merlin
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My first triolet:
A Clever Phrase
This muse who’d penned a clever phrase despaired lest it grow too well-known, Would critters claim in coming days this muse who’d penned a clever phrase had authored but a passing craze? Thus seeing usage had so grown, this muse who’d penned a clever phrase despaired lest it grow too well-known.
by Susan
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Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. MM Award Winner
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Jul 13 04, 15:15
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,869
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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A Cleaver Phase
How long I now for shorter days, for life will end so soon! For me to try to multiply – to raise how long…. I now for shorter days would opt. To navigate this maze I’d slash with butcher knife, be free. How long I now? For shorter days for life; will end so soon for me.
© M Lee Dickens’ son 13 July 2004
P.S. Don't worry; I'm neither suicidal nor in major depression. I just hadn't written a triolet in ages and kind of took up the challenge after reading yours, Susan! Thanks; I needed THAT -- not a butcher knife!
Live long and prosper! V
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Jul 26 09, 19:38
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Mosaic Master
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Let's this form back to life... Numinous Flicker
Essence dispersed… luminous sight,
flames of the numinous flicker.
Devotions immersed, two souls unite;
Essence dispersed. Luminous sight!
Triad of hope, passions ignite
nurturing sparks still, yet quicker.
Essence dispersed; luminous sight --
flames of the numinous flicker.
Copyright © Lorraine M. Kanter 26 July 2009
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Sep 5 09, 23:12
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,869
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Remember this one, Lori?
A Light Above the Wrest
But few can hold a candle to our Dauntless Leader, Lor 2 K! Two wick-ed ones got lit up, woo, but few can hold a candle too: they slightly soared above her, flew, waxed eloquent . . . yet melt away. But few can hold a candle to our Dauntless Leader, Lor 2 K.
© Daniel J Ricketts 23 Sept 2003
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