March 2007 IBPC Nominations, for April Comp Options

[AMETHYST]

Hey Dani,

This is well deserving to be nominated for IBPC! I'll Third it! :)

Hugs, Liz

[AMETHYST]

I would like to nominate this poem by Jaxmyth, located in Seren's, titled Drought This is extremely well written, I felt the metaphor is strong, a link, like in a fence, connecting the reader to underlying meanings. A skilled use of poetic devices, both in sound and steady rhythm brings a pleasant experience, choice words, as the reader slows to meditate their meaning and connection within the poem bring to light those connections that create, for me, a fullness at poems end. It speaks of crafting, of creating using skills of a trade. It details the thoughts of perfection, as the narrator expresses the importance of each step-of setting boundaries, and creating relationships- I felt this poem gives a deep and profound glimpse into a craftsman/settler/society all linked by his fence.

I

We sink the corner posts first, as each defines a neighbour.
It is here where the bottom six inches are the most important.
It is here where the strength is muscled into the fence.

The heart of a fence lies in its foot.
I tamp until the bar sings of possession,
the bar bounces and writhes.

We snug the stays and tighten the wire,
each barbed note is tensioned into voice
the division sings a warning.


II

The fence cannot hold back the drought.
The sky aches blue and the sun eats green;
the earth coughs dust as rich as blood.

My bones hunker down beside the rock.
Eagles hang; wings wound into the wire,
heads nailed down by the sun.

Ribs rack a heaving fleece.
I watch my image fade
from the eye of a lamb.

This post has been edited by Cleo_Serapis: Apr 1 07, 07:22

Reason for edit: Revision posted

[Eisa]

I second this -- a well written poem.

Snow

[Siren]

Wonderfully well written.. Good luck !

Dani

[Peterpan]

Well Done a nomination already!

Excellent execution and word construction.

PP

[Eisa]

The Quatrain Refrain is no easy form to write and I am nominating this one writtten by Liz in Herme's. It is beautifully crafted while it tells a poignant tale. Excellent work!

Masked Artwork

With artist's palette, brush and hues in hand
she decorates the drabness of the day-
thin dabs of sanguine on an ashen land,
soft strokes conceal what she will not betray.

The doctors canvassed charts, discussing test
results; a darkish blot had showed when scanned,
a teardrop shape-and still she paints her best
with artist palette, brush and hues in hand.

She hides discolorations of her life
by touching up the downs, a bit of spray,
then casting shadows with a shaping knife.
She decorates the drabness of the day

to filter out the fading tints of sin
in youthful days. A woman in command,
when strength and courage were immersed within-
thin dabs of sanguine on an ashen land.

Her gallery is now a storage shed
of artwork which will never be displayed-
each dappled bloom now lives among the dead;
soft strokes conceal what she will not betray.

This post has been edited by AMETHYST: Apr 1 07, 08:23

Reason for edit: Edit of Newest Revision

[AMETHYST]

THank you Snow! You've made my day! Thank you ... I will be making some minor tweaks before polling!

Big Hugs, Liz

[AMETHYST]

I would like to nominate this poem for the depth in meaning, the masterful crafting and the excellence in poetic devices, such as sounds effects though out, fresh end rhymes and how the poem reads aloud like a musical lullaby. There is profundity within each stanza, how it relates to our lives and the generations that domino thereafter. Such lines as L2/L3 of S1, SHOW that innocence on both sides of the coin - us at 17, our children at 17 and their impressions of us. This, in my opinion, is by far a well written, well deserving poem.

It is located in Plato's Pearls: Click here!

Seventeen

Seventeen... that’s the age filled with wonder and awe;
you’d arrived at a place where you saw what you saw,
and you knew what you knew, but you hadn’t yet seen
that your seeing was dim and your knowing was green.
So you blundered on eighteen and found a small flaw…

freedom now held you culpable under the law.
All the stuff that you’d yearned for so long had its draw,
but the straw in your mouth tasted strangely of spleen…
Seventeen… that’s the age!

In the next couple decades, you stiffened your jaw
to the winds of reality, lived through a thaw
that had nearly submerged you in floods unforeseen...
and you'd turned thirty-four, with your firstborn… sixteen,
when that brilliant young kid had a dumb ma and pa…
seventeen… that’s the age.

[JustDaniel]

Thank you so much, Liz...

and I humbly accept the nomination. If there are any changes to this after critique I shall let you know before any finalization that may be necessary, though I'm reasonably satisfied with it as it now appears. This has not been nominated elsewhere for anything, and it's not been published, and you know my given name, which I always like to go with my pen name if that is okay.

Thank you so much for the nomination for the internal voting.

deLighting to share with y'all, Daniel

[Siren]

Hey Liz,

Thanks sweetie for thirding it.

Hugs
Dani

[Siren]

Hey Daniel,

Good luck my dear!

Dani

[Siren]

A wonderful nomination Liz, well deserving.

Hugs
Dani

[AMETHYST]

Hi Daniah,

Thank you so much! There is stil some tweaks coming on this but over all I like which direction it is heading! :)

Thank you for coming in and giving a thumbs up! Best Wishes in the polling - Your poem is wonderful...

Hugs, Liz

[AMETHYST]

Permission Granted, Thanks Daniel! Good luck in the Polls and competition! :)

[Cleo_Serapis]

Per Daniel's email request today, I have removed 'Seventeen' from the POLL as he revoked his permission to have the poem included in our polling.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Congrats Liz on being selected for the April IBPC comp!

[Cleo_Serapis]

Congrats Jan on being selected for the April IBPC comp!

[Cleo_Serapis]

Thank you very much to those who've voted for this poem to represent MM in the April comp!

[AMETHYST]

Congratulations Lori ... Good luck representing MM in the April Competitions.


Hugs Liz

[AMETHYST]

Yes Congratulations Jan ... This is an absolute guarentee to take something, if not first! :) Excellent poetry... Good luck ~


Hugs, Liz