This sullen night,
moody and morose,
it blew past, while
birds screamed
their way home
and I counted
countless windows,
bleak and unlit,
with cats seated behind them,
their contours on walls,
as twice their eyes
sponged up my headlights
and I envied
this second chance
at a recondite view,
coveted this sorcerous
manner of ken.

Hi there!
I was reluctant reading this at first- three adjectives in the first two lines, almost synonymous.... How silly is that? But they taste so good together, and the scene was set so quickly, I thought to myself, ok, keep going...
And I was completely mesmerized, the images rolling by, the long continuous sentence that slowly pulls the reader forward, that meditative feeling one might get driving at night...
And then a thought left at the end for the reader- makes me think of the said cats leaving a dead mouse for us- first we poke at it a bit, and then think, why were we offered this gift?
I guess you can tell I loved this. I wouldn't change a thing,mor at least I don't know what I could offer to make it better.
Heather

Hi there.
The poem feels one sided. There is a dystopian feel here. The word ken is well done for effect. Yes you envy the cats dedicated stare but who are your feelings directed to ? Was there something unsaid you wanted to convey to that person ?

Hi Krista,

Like Heather, I love this one, it's fascinating. A few comments below

This sullen night,
moody and morose,

I have mixed feelings about these first 2 lines (like Heather) My heart says I like them, but my head says not as sullen, moody and morose all mean virtually the same thing and I feel L2 should be deleted. Up to you.

it blew past, while
birds screamed
their way home
and I counted
countless windows,

Love this bit - 'counted countless windows' just rolls off the tongue

bleak and unlit,
with cats seated behind them,
their contours on walls,
as twice their eyes
sponged up my headlights
and I envied
this second chance
at a recondite view,
coveted this sorcerous
manner of ken.

Yes the sentence does 'run on' but I'm not sure where I would break it without spoiling the flow.
Hope my comments have helped in some way
Eira

Hi Krista,
I love this uninterrupted flow of thoughts while driving in the night. I, too, find the three adjectives in L1 and 2 similar in meaning. But in the context of your poem, I feel the driver might be using emphasis due to some undefined purpose. Perhaps N is angry or sad, even lonely.
The alliteration in L2 is attractive to this reader!

Thank you all for your interest and feedback. So very appreciated.
This car journey was made alone and I had much to think about. How lost in my thoughts I can be and always searching for answers. Cats have this serenity and wisdom, full of special skills...it seemed desirable to me to be like one.

Regards and I will try to revise some of the sticky bits. I'm currently on holiday in York, trying to relax! :)

Krista

Enjoy your holiday, Krista. I've missed reading your poems.

Eira