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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
Hi Jim - I forwarded your message along - we'll get back to you soon...
~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.
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Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
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Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
Dear Jim,
Brilliantly grim and/or grimly brilliant. Absolutely no absolution ....
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Real Name: Eira Needham
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Referred By:Lori
Brillianly written Jim it's good to read you again.
The only suggestion I can make for you to mull over is:
Last night’s knickers dry[ing] on a broken radiator
Last night’s love snores[ing] in her bed;
Very poignant ending
Snow
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Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way. Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin!
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!
Thanks for stopping by. The gerund form is chosen deliberately to suggest continuity - the knickers will go on drying and the lover will go on snoring after she 'leaves'. Grammatically, I should have left the 'are/is' qualifiers before these but felt this way was stronger. I've contrasted her actions by placing them in the past tense - she is beyond salvation both physically and spiritually - in an attempt to hint at the selfishness of suicide; no thought of the effect on the still sleeping lover and the dismissal of the parent as 'not understanding'. Hope that explains my thinking there. I have cut this to the bone from original draft and feel that it's almost there, just don't feel in my gut that your suggestions fit with my intent, hope you can understand. I do appreciate the visit though, the gift of another's time is precious to me, Jim
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