ONCOLOGY WARD, A child's puzzlement Options

[Cybele]

 This is the result of snippets of conversation which I overheard. It is very simple, speaking with a child's truth.



             A CHILD'S PUZZLEMENT


             "Daddy! That's not my nanny lying there
             with very skinny arms and straggly hair,
             and a funny smell when I bent down to kiss her.

             My nanny always laughs when we have fun  
             her hair is always shiny like the sun
             and Daddy, does she know how much I miss her?

             Oh Daddy! Where’s my nanny gone? "  

[Guest_Jox_*]

Grace,

For personal reasons, which I will not go into, I cannot crit this poem, sorry.

However, I am very "pleased" that you are venturing into these difficult areas ("Paedophilia" was yours, of course).

I have long believed that poetry can be an important vehicle for moral, social, political, ethical and other serious issues. It is wonderful to see you bringing your very considerable poetic skills to these areas. (As well of course as your nature, place and personal poems - wouldn't want to see those disappear, either!)

Thank you, Grace.

James.

[Guest_jayjay_*]

Some questions are meant to be asked, Grace, though not all are meant to be answered.  The disarming directness of such exchanges bring a lump to the throat, but they (children) are time enough discovering the unpalatable facts behind their enquries.

This has, as you mention, a simpleness overlaying profundity.  Well observed and delivered.

JJ

[Cybele]

Dear James and JJ,

I understand that this may be unpalatable to a lot of our members and it is not my intention to rub salt into wounds or otherwise make the unbearable even more unbearable. I was in the Oncology ward on a visit to a very dear friend at the time, and I thought this child voiced the unspoken questions of the adults visiting their loved ones.

My heart goes out to anyone suffering the same heartache as this little girl, for she is real.

If you think it should be removed james, please let me know and I shall immediately delete it.

[Guest_Jox_*]

Grace, Hi

Absolutely not! Not for a single moment was I trying to imply such.

I was trying to congratulate you for tackling the subject.

It is a subject I personally have problems with (and I think others might, too). I, also, frequently write about "hard" issues.

If we were to "pull" works from MM simply because someone found them difficult to commentate upon, we would have a writers' site not worthy of being called such.

I didn't read your poem - which is my cowardice. (That is why I couldn't crit). That was my choice. I believe that some people don't read some things I write, because of either the subject or the view-point - their choice, too. I think that is fine.

But I would not only defend my right/duty to publish but I would be angry if anyone suggested I should not. The same applies equally to your poem. Though I know your offer comes from your natural kindness, I would be angry if you removed it because it is not an easy subject.

Please continue to bring your great skills to tough issues - I shall read most. I think MM is richer for your posting.

Thanks, Grace both for your consideration and your posting.

James.

[Cybele]

Thank you so much James,

But the offer still stands. Should anyone object please let me know.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Grace

You shouldn't delete your poem.  I admire the stark honesty of the work.  It is short and blunt.  You are putting in print what many must feel.  Cancer is a cruel disease.  What your poem does is ask the question -  Should we expose our young children to the harsh reality of a grandmother dying?  Or should  the last picture they have in their minds be that of a vibrant healthy person?

[Cybele]

Good morning Nina,

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME




[marquee]     [/marquee]

Lovely to meet you Nina ~ and a Londoner to boot! (My birthplace)

You shouldn't delete your poem.  I admire the stark honesty of the work.  It is short and blunt.  You are putting in print what many must feel.  Cancer is a cruel disease.  What your poem does is ask the question -  Should we expose our young children to the harsh reality of a grandmother dying?  Or should  the last picture they have in their minds be that of a vibrant healthy person?

Thank you for stopping by and offering your opinion Nina. You say exactly what I am trying to convey about this child. "Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings" have always come unanswerable questions.

I have my own opinion of what we should tell children about such subjects as this, but that is not relevant here. This is written as a "what if this was your child?".

I hope you will be happy here Nina, I know of no other site which cements friendships so quickly as MM.

If you need any help please let me know and I will gladly show you around.
At the bottom of this reply you will see a PM button, You can email me there and I will do all I can to help.

[Arnfinn]

Haven't Dropped in to see you for a while.


I dont see any reason to delete a poem like this Grace...Young children see their loved ones (family) and surroundings with a sense of life not death. The reality of finality doesn't mean that children wont be sad. But a small childs developing mentality doesn't rise to the heights of questioning why we exist.


 A CHILD'S PUZZLEMENT


"Daddy! That's not my nanny lying there
 with very skinny arms and straggly hair,
 and a funny smell when I bent down to kiss her.

 My nanny always laughs when we have fun  
 her hair is always shiny like the sun
 and Daddy, does she know how much I miss her?

 Oh Daddy! Where’s my nanny gone? "  


Your poem, gives one an incentive to give more love and attention to the children in our lives.

Which, I think Grace is, the way things should be.



Arnie    :wizard:  :troy:  :troy:

[Cybele]

Good morning Arnie, me Auusie Cobber,

I looked in this morning for the last time before leaving and noticed your post.

I dont see any reason to delete a poem like this Grace...Young children see their loved ones (family) and surroundings with a sense of life not death. The reality of finality doesn't mean that children wont be sad. But a small childs developing mentality doesn't rise to the heights of questioning why we exist.

Your poem, gives one an incentive to give more love and attention to the children in our lives.

Which, I think Grace is, the way things should be.

Thank you Arnie, these are my sentiments too. I always made a point of answering my children's probing questions honestly when they were young.
I don't think they were able to take in the whole context of death either, but answering them seemed to give them some comfort, and I hope took away some of the apprehension about the disappearance of people they loved.

This was not written entirely from the child's point of view except that it is seen through the eyes of a child, but begs the question, do we help or hinder our children by protecting them from the horrific facts of life and death. Surely there must be a way to answer such questions as this  without invoking nightmares for the child.

The more they learn of death, the more normal it becomes. For centuries people have been afraid of death and this goes against everything I believe in.
I realise a child has no concept of death but in adulthood the fears come and if a child retains memories of past deaths as being normal then they will not carry that fear into adulthood.

Thank you for commenting Arnie. I really appreciate it.

[Guest_Pandora_*]

Grace:

I applaud your work of such a sensitive nature. Virturally my entire family has suffered at the hand of the C-beast and it was always best for us to be as open as possible. In our attempts to be delicate, nothing irritated my father more than when we tried hide our fear. Your work here is very clearly written and evokes a lot of emotion. Nicely done!

Laura

[Cybele]

Dear Laura,

Thank you so much for reading this. How tragic for you to have suffered so, but I am glad you agree that the best way to handle such a delicate situation is to be honest.  Ignorance only breeds fear.