|
|
|
Sigmund, Viking slow read free form |
|
|
|
Aug 11 03, 07:18
|
Creative Chieftain
Group: Centurion
Posts: 2,587
Joined: 9-August 03
From: Australia
Member No.: 17
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
|
Sigmund
Sigmund his peacock eyes ablaze, hand on the hilt. Eleven men tried the tensile trace, from the stout oaks, centred deep embrace.
A grip, his green eyes acid, call a supple sweep. The blade a sliding spectre fell, transcends the trunks, Odin’s sutured spell.
Aloft, his reflecting eyes alight, sword polarised light. ‘Odin’s gift, a hero of the pantheon. A magic gilded prize, for sheath cornelian.'
Old man, one green eye eth, cloak swathe heliotrope. ‘Sigmund a hero shall walk free, tread the halls of life, not to be chosen by the Valkyrie.’
Arnfinn [B]
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
Guest_Zeus˛_*
|
Aug 11 03, 18:47
|
Guest
|
Arnfinn, welcome to MM. Like the use of metaphors here, and he lives to strike again. A cunning lot, the vikings. z2 (Larry)
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 11 03, 21:50
|
Creative Chieftain
Group: Centurion
Posts: 2,587
Joined: 9-August 03
From: Australia
Member No.: 17
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
|
Hi Larry,
Sigmund was the twin brother of the beautiful Signy ; they were thelst two children of Volsung(the king of the huns). Sigmund was the only one of Volsungs nine brothers to realise that Signy didn't want to marry Siggeir, the king of the Goths. However, Odin had a similar idea and turned p for the wedding feast, throwing his sword into the heart of the Brandstock, a great oak that grew up through Volsungs's hall; according to Odin, whoever was able to remove the sword would become a great hero.
Sigmund had a go and immediatly removed the sword from the scabbard imbeded in the tree, thus becomming a Viking hero.
In Odins court at Asgard his female attendents the Valkyrie's choose which Viking Hero's were to be killed in battle.
Odin assured Sigmund that he would not be killed in battle.
Odin often wanderd the world as a hooded one eyed old man.
Thanks for your interest in my poem.
John
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
Guest_Zeus˛_*
|
Aug 11 03, 22:21
|
Guest
|
John, there is a little touch of similiarity in Wagners Opera Der Ring des Nibelungen with four different opera's which constitute the Ring: The Rhinegold, The Valkyrie, Siegfried, and Twilight of the Gods. The names are similiar Siegfried and Sieglinde. A long and drawn out story, but good msuic. Thanks for your info. Larry z2
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 12 03, 07:13
|
Creative Chieftain
Group: Centurion
Posts: 2,587
Joined: 9-August 03
From: Australia
Member No.: 17
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
|
Interesting Larry,
Have to go into your info.
I wrote my piece to a pattern.
Line 1 relates to Line 3
Line 2 relate to "eyes"
Lines 4,5,6 and 7 tell the story.
John
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 13 03, 19:55
|
Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
|
Oooohhhhhh :pharoah2
What a very cool poem here Arnie! :viking: :grinning:
I found myself captured in the moment and being educated is yet another thrill result you've weaved.
While I admit to being a weeeeeee bit tooo tired, I didn't (on first glance) see anything to nit? :dance:
Just poppin in to say, Excellent! :sun:
I'll be certain to re-visit this piece....
Hugs!
······· ·······
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 14 03, 06:46
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 427
Joined: 5-August 03
From: Oregon, USA
Member No.: 8
Real Name: Dolly
Writer of: Poetry
|
Hi John,
Welcome to Mosaic Musings! Wowwww a historian! Super! Not only will we have the opportunity to read your poetry, but we may learn more about ancient history.
The first thing I notice about your poem is that I couldn't read it. You've chosen to use a color so pale I had to highlight it to read. Other than that, on first look I like the way you've laid the poem out ... unique.
QUOTE(Arnfinn @ Aug. 11 2003, 07:18) Sigmund Sigmund his peacock eyes ablaze, hand on the hilt. Eleven men tried the tensile trace, from the stout oaks, centred deep embrace. I'm afraid I don't understand what a tensile trace is and what does centered embrace mean? A grip, his green eyes acid, call a supple sweep. What is a supple sweep?The blade I'd recommend a comma herea sliding spectre fell, transcends the trunks, Odin’s sutured spell. Actually, I don't understand any of the above stanza Aloft, "Aloft"? His eyes left his body? his reflecting eyes alight, sword polarised light. ‘Odin’s gift, a hero of the pantheon. A magic gilded prize, for sheath cornelian.' Don't understand the last land above. Old man, one green eye eth, "eth"? Is this a typo or does it have some meaning?cloak swathe heliotrope. What does this line mean?‘Sigmund a hero shall walk free, tread the halls of life, not to be chosen by the Valkyrie.’ I actually understand these last three lines and think they're very good! Arnfinn [B]
Friend Arnfinn, please forgive my lack of knowledge when it comes to things ancient.
Again, welcome to MM ..!
Blessings, Athena
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 14 03, 07:38
|
Creative Chieftain
Group: Centurion
Posts: 2,587
Joined: 9-August 03
From: Australia
Member No.: 17
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
|
Hi Athena,
Re my poem
Tensile = resistance to breaking.....as in tensile steel. Trace = sword blade. Cunning wot.
'from the stout oaks, centred deep embrace'
Centred deep embrace = Odin threw his magic sword..........plumb cetred deep into the heart of the oak tree
Soooo....elven jokers tried to remove the magic sword from the heart of ye olde oak tree....................and failed
A supple sweep = Sigmund...............hand on the hilt of the sword................gave a supple sweep of his wrist......Bingo....ye olde (MAGIC) sword fell out of the tree.
Actually dont understand stanza. Well reaaaaaaaaally, humph
Ok...........a sliding spectre fell, transcends the trunks, Odin’s sutured spell.
The blade slide out ghostly......transceding from the heart of the tree............the sword had been flung into the cente of the tree(sutured= clampted into the centre of the tree) by Odin
Aloft= (See line 3).....Aloft sword polarised light........he held the sword up to the light
The Key to my poem is Read line 1 and then line 3, line 2 is all about eyes, lines 4567 tell the story.
Sheath c= Shoved the sword into his sheath
Easy, just like doing a crossword puzzle.
Glad you liked.
My next extravaganza........coooooooooomes with explanatory notes.
Arnie..............the.......finn
:pharoah2 :pharoah2
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
|
|
Read our FLYERS - click below
Reference links provided to aid in fine-tuning
your writings. ENJOY!
|
|
|
|