 Shoot those Stars, This is for JLY |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
| Guest_ohsteve_* |
 Jun 10 10, 23:01
Post
#1
|
  |
Don't look up and sigh
at the darkening sky. Don't wish upon that falling star, Cause for you I've got a scoop. That star is not what you think it are, In reality it's just freeze dried astronaut poop. Steve |
  
|
|
|
Jun 11 10, 00:41
Post
#2
|
|
|
Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Steve,
Errrr, ummmm, you want crit on this ? Love Alan ·······  ······· |
|
|
|
| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Jun 12 10, 01:15
Post
#3
|
|
|
Alan, I know that this would need a lot of work and I don't know as to wether I want to do it yet...lol, this was mainly a reply to a email that JohnLY sent me which after listening I though rather funny so I wrote him this quickly with the intention of maybe expanding it out. I already know about the are and there are probably a thousand other things wrong... it just hits the right sort of mood for the short program I watched... if you have an idea to help expand it I will be glad to read...maybe I should send you the program for you to watch.
Steve |
|
|
|
|
Jun 13 10, 14:39
Post
#4
|
|
 Creative Chieftain Posts: 862 Joined: 25-June 04 From: Ohio, USA Member No.: 70 Real Name: Susan Eckenrode Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Merlin |
hi Steve, It's light and fun... with a very off-the-cuff feel.. so no need to change anything. Sue ······· ······· |
|
|
|
| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Jun 13 10, 21:46
Post
#5
|
|
|
Sue, Thank you it was written as light and fun and very off the cuff, maybe I can get JLy to share the small film this was inspired by to all the rest of you...it was a NASA guy explaining about space toilets.
Take care Steve |
|
|
|
|
Jun 14 10, 14:58
Post
#6
|
|
 Assyrian Posts: 262 Joined: 4-February 09 Member No.: 756 Real Name: Robin DeWalt Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Winning Writer's web site |
Hi Steve -
Now I understand why my wishes didn't come true! Think I'll pass on the clip, way too much information. lol Robin ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Jun 15 10, 19:56
Post
#7
|
|
 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
 !!!!
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
|
|
|
| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Jun 15 10, 22:42
Post
#8
|
|
|
But Robin, if you go up into space it is of vital importance you know how to pee and poop properly, otherwise that gunk can get everywhere...LOL :ROTFLMAO: I'm sorry you didn't get your wish, want a lolipop instead? lol
Steve |
|
|
|
|
Jun 15 10, 23:28
Post
#9
|
|
|
Assyrian Posts: 262 Joined: 4-February 09 Member No.: 756 Real Name: Robin DeWalt Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Winning Writer's web site |
And here I thought I had potty training mastered by the age of two...
I'm afraid to say 'yes' to a lollipop, no telling what that is! :) Robin ······· ······· |
|
|
|
| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Jun 16 10, 00:12
Post
#10
|
|
|
Robin, a lollipop is lick, on a stick, guaranteed to make you sick, L O L L I P O P,,,egad you don't remember that song, or maybe you never heard it... a lollipop is a piece of candy and thats as far as I will go with that. Yes there is a long back story behind that but not something I wish to explain in a five minute reply. lol
Take Care Steve |
|
|
|
|
Jun 18 10, 13:45
Post
#11
|
|
 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Oh Steve
I might have known we'd get a laugh from you! LOL!  Don't look up and sigh at the darkening sky. Don't wish upon that falling star, Cause for you I've got a scoop. That star is not what you think it are, In reality it's just freeze dried astronaut poop. Just a thought for fixing L5 could you not change it to plural? That stars are not what you think they are, Well who says you can't write a poem about anything! Snow 
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner    |
|
|
|
| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Jun 18 10, 22:39
Post
#12
|
|
|
Eira, Yep I can change that easy enough, hey you got to laugh when the light hearted things come to shine, otherwise you might never smile and what a poor world that would be without smiles and laughter. My dog made me laugh today even though it wasn't really funny, he came tramping into the room all forlorn looking but I could see something sticking out of his mouth. Every time I tried to coax it from him he would turn and growl, I finally got him to drop it after giving him a beef stick for dogs. it was the corner of a package that beef jerky comes in, I had just gotten such a package yesterday from my wife and had only had two pieces from it and I know that I put it in my upper drawer of my clothing chest next to my bed. Well when i went up and looked guess what was gone? Yep he had gotten the whole package, I knew he had, he knew he had but i couldn't punish him because it was over an hour or so before I discovered it and he wouldn't realize what he was being punished for, but I thought and verbally admonished him for making me give him a beef treat for stealing a pound of beef jerky, and looking forlorn about doing so. I am not sure who is worse him for doing or me for forgiving him. Ah well
Thanks for reading and for you kind words as always Eira. Take care Steve |
|
|
|
|
Jun 20 10, 06:40
Post
#13
|
|
 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 2,587 Joined: 9-August 03 From: Australia Member No.: 17 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry |
Steve, an honest opinion... I think your poems up to S..t On a constipation of a constellation I give it a six.   Nothing like getting down and dirty... John ······· ·······Arnfinn
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner  |
|
|
|
| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Jun 21 10, 11:06
Post
#14
|
|
|
Arnie, well you know the best fields are the ones tilled with the best manure,,,one mans crap is another mans plant food...or whatever...lol
Take care not to step in any on your way out. Steve |
|
|
|
|
Jun 21 10, 11:41
Post
#15
|
|
|
Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
I thought it was "One man's crap is another man's treasure"?
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
| Guest_ohsteve_* |
Jun 21 10, 12:01
Post
#16
|
|
|
One mans trash is another mans treasure....I was paraphrasing Lori.... but thats ok
Steve |
|
|
|
|
Jun 22 10, 05:29
Post
#17
|
|
|
Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
!!!!! WWWWWWWWeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
|
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 27th April 2024 - 21:16 |
Read our FLYERS - click below
|
| more Quotes |
| ||
|
|
|
|
