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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse  |
 Jun 26 16, 14:29
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#1
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 Nomad  Posts: 32 Joined: 30-October 15 From: Canada Member No.: 5,277 Real Name: Deb Calverley Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Rhapsody  |
Ours was the artful
Graceful Unreportable Unrecordable Prediction of The ungraceful Reportable Recordable Now |
  
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Jun 28 16, 16:52
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#2
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 8,875 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Hi weaver! Great to see you posting again. I've read your short, intriguing poem and will return to comment later. My daughter is waiting for me do some shopping!! Cheers, Syl 
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The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner              |
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Jul 1 16, 15:02
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#3
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 Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hi weaver,
It is so good to see you posting again. I've missed you! I think this is rather clever, although I'm still working on the full meaning. I like how st 1 & 2 are opposites. I'm wondering if you actually need capitals to begin each line. Just a thought. Eira Ours was the artful Graceful Unreportable Unrecordable Prediction of The ungraceful Reportable Recordable Now ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner    |
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Jul 5 16, 14:57
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#4
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Assyrian Posts: 256 Joined: 2-November 15 From: Croydon, Surrey Member No.: 5,284 Real Name: Antony Glaser Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Eira Rhaposdy |
Hi Weaver,
I need some background on this, Reads like some unexplained jubilation. ······· ·······Imagination fires the soul, resolution the longing.
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Jul 24 16, 23:05
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#5
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 8,875 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Back again, weaver!
I've finally purchased a new computer. I'm delighted with it! The other was about 12 years old... I like the way S1 and S2 oppose each other. Plus the final "now". One thing intrigues me: In S1 it says "Ours was the artful, Graceful" and then it continues with the "un..." words. In S2 you say: The prediction of the ungraceful... and then continue with the positive words, I mean without the "un". So before things were artful and graceful, whereas now they are ungraceful, but reportable and recordable. Now. To me it's a deft composition of words, but would you please explain a bit? Hope to see you back soon, Syl As to the meaning, I think the reader can apply your words to several issues QUOTE (weaver @ Jun 26 16, 16:29 )  Ours was the artful Graceful Unreportable Unrecordable Prediction of The ungraceful Reportable Recordable Now ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Sep 4 16, 14:42
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#6
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Nomad Posts: 32 Joined: 30-October 15 From: Canada Member No.: 5,277 Real Name: Deb Calverley Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Rhapsody |
So sorry for the late late late response! As I said I was hiding in broad daylight.
 This little poem was really speaking to how every single thing you do now is tracked, recorded, online, un-deletable, detectable, invasive etc. Prior to this day and age there was at least the semblance of privacy, the feeling as if you were involved in some delicious secret all your own, that is a rarity today. Thanks for looking at this one, I will try and be around a bit more! Cheers W |
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Sep 5 16, 15:02
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#7
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 8,875 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Hi Deb,
 Now it's perfectly clear! And you're so right. With this Wi-fi age, whatever I do online, such as listening to UTube or whatever, is immediately captured in my cellphone and tablet. That part is useful, as I can read crits over my breakfast. I don't come to my desktop till evening. But it's horrid to think that you're spied on with cameras all over town, and that even while I write these short lines, they get picked up by countless systems, maybe at the other end of the world. Wow. Tx for the explanation, Syl QUOTE (weaver @ Sep 4 16, 16:42 ) So sorry for the late late late response! As I said I was hiding in broad daylight. This little poem was really speaking to how every single thing you do now is tracked, recorded, online, un-deletable, detectable, invasive etc. Prior to this day and age there was at least the semblance of privacy, the feeling as if you were involved in some delicious secret all your own, that is a rarity today. Thanks for looking at this one, I will try and be around a bit more! Cheers W ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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