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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
 Aug 29 10, 18:14
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
Here's another oldie (very old) -- just wondering if there were any improvements I can make before it hits the finished drawer.
Skin on Skin They drink with gusto; thirst assuaged yet unrequited hungers rage. Their dance commences; undulations shed her filmy negligee to drape the floor. A lithe display of belly-dancing; titillations. Flickering tongues on freckled skin inhale the musky scents within; He sidles closer, starts to nuzzle -- lost in lust they intertwine instinctively, physiques combine dove tailing in a sultry puzzle. As fervour bubbles to a boil and overflows; fulfilled they coil behind their safety glass. I glance, at you; we share a drink, before my silk chemise slips on the floor -- a prelude to our mating dance. ----------------------------------------------- Recent tweaks (thanks Liz) St1 L3 was 'The dance commences' Last St L1 was 'Fervour bubbles to a boil' St2 L3 - have changed slithers to sidles ·······  ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner            |
  
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Sep 17 10, 00:31
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 Babylonian  Posts: 138 Joined: 11-May 10 From: california Member No.: 1,120 Real Name: karen Writer of: Poetry |
Hey Eisa!
Loved it~ I see nuthin to pick at ;-) K QUOTE (Eisa @ Aug 29 10, 18:14 )  Here's another oldie (very old) -- just wondering if there were any improvements I can make before it hits the finished drawer. Skin on Skin They drink with gusto; thirst assuaged yet unrequited hungers rage. Their dance commences; undulations shed her filmy negligee to drape the floor. A lithe display of belly-dancing; titillations. Flickering tongues on freckled skin inhale the musky scents within; He sidles closer, starts to nuzzle -- lost in lust they intertwine instinctively, physiques combine dove tailing in a sultry puzzle. As fervour bubbles to a boil and overflows; fulfilled they coil behind their safety glass. I glance, at you; we share a drink, before my silk chemise slips on the floor -- a prelude to our mating dance. ----------------------------------------------- Recent tweaks (thanks Liz) St1 L3 was 'The dance commences' Last St L1 was 'Fervour bubbles to a boil' St2 L3 - have changed slithers to sidles ······· ······· |
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Sep 17 10, 17:26
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#3
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (anaisa @ Sep 17 10, 06:31 ) Hey Eisa! Loved it~ I see nuthin to pick at ;-) K Thanks Karen - great to see you here again. Eisa  ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Posts in this topic
Eisa Skin on Skin Aug 29 10, 18:14 
AMETHYST Hey Snow!!!!
I remember this. I ... Aug 29 10, 22:21 Eisa Hey Liz
Great suggestions - Their dance commences... Aug 30 10, 03:01 JLY Snow:
This has a lot of sensuality in it and no m... Aug 31 10, 05:32 
Eisa QUOTE (JLY @ Aug 31 10, 11:32 ) Snow:
Th... Aug 31 10, 17:04 bombadil1247 Hi, Snow,
more stripping and this time mixed with... Sep 5 10, 06:30 Eisa QUOTE (bombadil1247 @ Sep 5 10, 12:30 ) H... Sep 8 10, 14:12 AMETHYST Hey Snow ...
Although the revisions are minor, t... Sep 5 10, 22:45 Eisa QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Sep 6 10, 04:45 ) Hey S... Sep 8 10, 14:17 AMETHYST I am still working on my manuscript for my chapboo... Sep 9 10, 22:04 Eisa You'll get there Liz - we'll get there... Sep 10 10, 17:02 heartsong7 Hi Snow,
This is ingenious. When I saw the bit abo... Sep 11 10, 07:46 Eisa QUOTE (heartsong7 @ Sep 11 10, 13:46 ) Hi... Sep 13 10, 16:06 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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