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Western Justice - an exercise in meter, submitted and written by John Baker |
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Apr 2 05, 07:01
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hello all!
Recently, our own jgdittier (Ron), emailed me the following exercise written in four versions of meter by John Baker (jtb). As Ron says, "For those members here who haven’t mastered metre, John T. Baker, a master of light verse (and serious poetry when he feels it) has written a humorous piece in 4 variations, each using a different foot. I know no way to make cadence more easily understood or palatable than his versions."
Before I post each version, kindly forwarded to me by both Ron and John Baker (our own jtb), I'd like to define each version of meter (the organized rhythmic characteristic of verse; the pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables in a line) John has demonstrated in his poems.
- The first is iambic meter: An end-stressed two syllable foot e.g. from In Memoriam by Lord Tennyson
I DREAMED | there WOULD| be SPRING | no MORE
and from the opening line of John Keats' Ode to a Nightingale:
a DROW | -sy NUMB | -ness PAINS.
The second is anapestic meter: An end-stressed three syllable foot e.g. The Destruction of the Sennacherib by Byron:
And the SHEEN | of their SPEARS | was like STARS | on the SEA and from the opening line of William Cowper's Verses Supposed to be Written by Alexander Selkirk:
I am MON | -arch of ALL | I sur-VEY.
The third is trochaic meter: A front-stressed two syllable foot e.g. The Song of Hiawatha by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:
BY the | SHORES of | GIT chee | GUMee
and from the opening line of Poe's The Raven:
ONCE up- | ON a | MID-night | DREAR-y, | WHILE I | PON-dered, | WEAK and | WEAR-y.
The fourth and last metrical example is dactylic meter: A front-stressed three syllable foot e.g. The Lost Leader by Robert Browning:
WE that had | LOVED him so, | FOLlowed him | HONoured him.
and from Byron's The Bride of Abydos:
KNOW ye the | LAND where the | CY-press and | MYR-tle.
Now - onto John Baker's poems (with permission)...
John writes: "I recently heard a joke, decided to versify it and did so. Not once but four times. One version is iambic, the next, predominantly anapestic, the next, trochaic and the last, dactylic."
Western Justice (iambic) A courtroom in a western town was filled when Hank O'Toole, a popular cowhand, was charged with stealing Murphy's mule.
The jury heard the evidence, retired, then found O'Toole not guilty of the charge if he would just give back the mule.
The judge demurred, "Your finding is improper; you must rule on whether this defendant did or did not steal that mule." The jury left but soon returned; the verdict of the pool: "We find that Hank is innocent - and he can keep the mule."
Western Justice (anapestic)
The courtroom was filled in a small western town on the day that they tried Hank O'Toole, a popular rancher who just had been charged with the theft of his neighbor's prize mule.
After all of the evidence there had been heard, then the jury decided O'Toole was not guilty provided the rancher would now go ahead and give back the old mule.
The audience cheered but the judge gave a frown, "That's not proper, you really must rule on his guilt or his innocence; did he or not as a matter of law steal that mule?"
The jury retired but was soon back in court and the judge had to poll the whole pool: "We find the defendant is innocent, Sir; furthermore he should keep the damn mule."
Western Justice (trochaic)
Hank O'Toole was popular but charged one day with stealing Murphy's mule; the courtroom filled with sympathetic feeling.
When the jury said, "Not Guilty, if he'll just return it," cheers rang out but soon were silenced when the judge said, "Durn it!"
"That won't do, you must decide if Hank there stole the critter." So the jury met again, then made the courtroom titter.
"No!" they ruled, "and furthermore" - they trotted out a whopper - "Hank should get to keep the mule, we think that's only proper!"
Western Justice (dactylic)
Popular rancher, young Henry O'Toole, being on trial for stealing a mule, smiled when the jury came back in to say, "Innocent - if he returns it today."
Frowning, the judge rapped his gavel hard twice, "Ladies and gentlemen, be more precise! Whom do you think you are trying to fool? Did he or not really steal that old mule?"
Pouting, the jury went back to convene, quickly they then reappeared on the scene. "Well, we've decided - not guilty, we rule - plus, the defendant should KEEP the damn mule!
Thanks so very much to Ron for his eye on education and to John, for his creative vision!
~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Jox_*
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Apr 2 05, 07:45
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Guest
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Hi, John, Ron & Lori et al,
What an excellent and splendid way to show different approaches. Moreover, the poems themselves are enjoyable, let alone as learning exercises.
Well done and thank you.
James.
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Apr 2 05, 10:07
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 1,802
Joined: 24-April 04
From: Connecticut
Member No.: 58
Real Name: Ron Jones
Writer of: Poetry
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Dear All, Thank you, John. Thank you, Cleo. I'd say the poems can't be beat, but that's what they're all about! Cheers, jgd
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Guest_Toumai_*
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Apr 2 05, 10:15
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Guest
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LOL, jgd!
Thanks Lori and John for posting these - what a wonderful example of different meters.
Fran
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Guest_Nina_*
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Apr 2 05, 17:14
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Guest
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Hi Lori
Thank you and John for posting these poems. They were very interesting to read and be shown the meter, though I don't think I will ever truly get to grips with badums, this certainly helped a bit.
Nina
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Apr 10 05, 08:24
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,578
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Now that I've found this exercise again... Thank you James!... here is what I've come up with... a variation on a ballad that I'd written about a joke that my chiropractor friend shared with me:
iambic [ da DUM ] Clerics’ Car
This Priest and Rabbi get along just famously, they say. For many years they’ve shared so much. Great neighbors! Then one day . . .
they jointly bought a car, to share its use, whate’er the need. That afternoon the Rabbi watched: Car-dousing?! “Why, indeed?”
“I’m blessing it,” the Priest explained. “Ah, yes!” Old Rab approved. Hacksaw in hand, Rab joined the Priest and tailpipe’s end removed.
© Daniel J Ricketts 15 March, 2002
anapestic [ ba da DUM ] Clerics’ Car
There’s a priest and a rabbi, good friends, often meeting together to share. Being neighbors earned great dividends,,, and voila… it’s an answer to prayer:
Neither one owned a car, so they bought one together, both clerics would use. On that cool winter day, Rabbi caught Father dousing their car. That’s abuse!
Rabbi thought. “I’m just baptizing, friend.” “Well of course,” said the Rabbi, relieved… then with hacksaw in hand, cut the end of its tailpipe, as each a sigh heaved.
© Daniel J Ricketts 09 April 2005
trochaic [ DUM da ] Clerics’ Car
Jews and Cath’lics can’t cohabit, some would say. But I have neighbors, Rabbi Saul and Father Babbit — humor share in many labors.
Once, they jointly bought an auto just so they could make their travel easier, and who’d have thought a ritual could thus unravel.
See, the priest baptized that Jetta — doused their baby at a Wawa. Rabbi did the priest one better — trimmed its tailpipe with a hacksaw.
© Daniel J Ricketts 10 April 2005
dactylic [ DUM ba da ] Clerics’ Car
Rabbi and priest are such wonderful friends, sharing a friendship as neighbors together. Giving and taking, no need for amends, walking each day — talked of far more than weather.
Not long ago, as they walked side by side; both of them thought, Why don’t we buy a car; with it we’ll labor together — just ride. That’s what they did; it’s the way that they are.
Yesterday, Rabbi saw Priest douse their Ford; wondering why, he asked. “Baptizing her!” Thinking it over, he found near accord — hacksawed exhaust pipe. “He’ll make it for sure.”
© Daniel J Ricketts 10 April 2005
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Guest_Nina_*
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Apr 10 05, 10:11
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Guest
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Hi Daniel
very interesting taking the same joke and writing in 3 different forms. I have to say that I prefer the iambic, it seems to suit the joke the best.
Nina
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Guest_Toumai_*
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Apr 10 05, 10:34
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Guest
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Daniel,
Excellent examples. I agree with Nina that the joke reads best in the first.
Thank you for an interesting - and fun - read.
Fran
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Guest_Jox_*
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Apr 10 05, 11:00
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Guest
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Hi Daniel,
Thanks for your thanks, so to speak.
Well done with these - I have no idea how you do it but very well done!
Cheers, James.
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Guest_Don_*
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Apr 10 05, 14:20
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Guest
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Thanks for the delightful examples clarifying pleasantry of poetic metric feet.
Nothing like examples of 2+2=4. With less math, of course.
I must add at this late date: November 28,2005, that one theme has many poetic faces by change of meter. Also, nuance of meter enhances every theme from comic to somber.
Don
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Guest_jtb_*
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Apr 12 05, 19:51
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Guest
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Excellent, Daniel! I like each one, with its different cadence. Thanks for adding to my little offering.
jtb
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