The Old Sawmill Pond, free-verse Options

[jerryk]

The Old Sawmill Pond

The narrow stream supplied a pond.
Through most the year its water drove
the whining turbines of the mill--
Oh, I should not imply that their songs
and the crescendo cries of sharp blades
resembled dirges sung for each log
that passed through the mill’s shed,
but tall oaks and pines died to become
mostly coffin lumber for the factory nearby.

When gates were closed and turbines
idled, a small dam allowed for gentle
flowing-over of excess water, which then
followed a shallow bed. Around the bend,
this side stream teamed up with her sister.

To us small boys, the 15-foot structure
looked as imposing as Hoover Dam,
and the splashing waters equaled
the magnificence of Niagara Falls.
In winter, this pond—crowned with
falling snow on top, resembled frozen
custard, and teaming with skaters,
it became the inspiration for a lesser
artist's ice-skating painting. Mine.

But this is summertime. Two boys with nets
wade in knee-deep water. Blackberries
at both banks distract them from their fishing
mission, but then—one swoop nets two glittering fish.
Small-fry. We laugh and make up a ditty.

“Little fishes swim away,
But not too far, you hear?
Come on back some other day,
when you must fry, we fear.”

Almost dinnertime, but there’s one more task:
With our help, a drifting aluminum canoe glides
over the dam; then its caved-in nose
catches among the rocks, and there it rests
throughout the summer, providing refuge
for small-fry fishes.

I haven’t seen that pond in many years;
haven’t seen my friend either, but for good reason:
he volunteered, then died in some so pointless war,
but I’ll keep the recollections of our childhood alive.

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Jerry, wow, this brought some memories of skating on the lake near my house, the brook that ran by wouldn't power any thing, but had some nice trout and I would see lots of baby 'small fry' on their way up stream. If your lumber mill used oak and pine for coffins then were the oak for the rich and the pine for the poor? If I had found an aluminum canoe I would have tried to salvage it to use for paddling round the lake to go fishing. I was feeling all warm and fuzzy right up to the last stanza and then I cried. I'm very sorry for your friend and for your loss.

Take Care
Steve

[jerryk]

Hi Steve;
I suppose many of us still cherish those childhood memories. I must have been nine during that summer. I recall it was wartime and therefore the aluminum canoe did have some monetary value, but not to us kids. After fooling around with it a bit, we allowed it to drop into the "chasm." Oak coffins for the poor? not likely. Then again, maybe; for death is the equalizer, who then took my friend away. Thank you for you sympathetic comment, Steve.
Best to you,
Jerry

[Thoth]

Hi Jerry

Fascinating background story, even better that the rhyme which made me smile as we had a similar one as kids / Brilliant imagery - brilliant!

Wally

[Arnfinn]

G'day JerryK

A tribute to your ability.

You write good poetry.


In my mind I find this is a true real life story.

The last verse is the clincher and very good.

You a worthty as a writer at MM.

Regards,

John

[jerryk]

Hi Wally;
surgery and recovery has kept me away from this forum, and therefore my late reply to your kind comment. I'm still dealing with problems that keep me from functioning as a writer, but I do hope to overcome my, hopefully, temporary handicap. Meanwhile, I want to thank you for reading my verses. Thanks.
Jerryk

Hi Jerry

Fascinating background story, even better that the rhyme which made me smile as we had a similar one as kids / Brilliant imagery - brilliant!

Wally

[jerryk]

Hi John,
I'm sorry for this delayed reply to your wonderful comment; due to surgery and a lengthy recovery time, I have been absent far too long. And you are correct, my poem is based on a true life story, indeed. Thank you very much for appreciating it.
Jerryk

[Thoth]

Jerry

I am so sorry to learn of your surgery. May you recover quickly and completely soon. We all look forward to reading your wonderful poetry again soon.

Wally

[Arnfinn]

G'day, Jerry

I am so sorry to read that you have been ill.

I re-read your poem.

And re-lived your childhood adventures.

It is a pity you have not seen fit to contribute some more of your work.

Regards,


John

[jerryk]

Hi there, John;
thanks for the return; I'm still not right but I have decided to just hang in there and keep on writing. It's really great to know that you and others care about my welfare. I'm very touched, and I want to thank you for your concern. I'm very glad you enjoyed my childhood adventure, and I'll be back with more. Take care my friend.
Jerry K.

[Rhymer]

Hi Jerry, sorry to hear you've been ill and hope recovery is well under way? This was a great write and it took me back to my own childhood in the rural depths of Dorset (UK). Our bathing pool had been fashioned for a 'sheep dip' rather than a saw mill. It possessed a small dam and - what to we kidswas a deep pool - where we enjoyed cooling off in the heat of summer. Innocently naked and unashamed! Further downstream, was a flour mill. Ancient but still in working condition until after WW II. I went to school with the miller's son, and we loved nothing better than to investigate the various floors therein and watch the wooden wheels turn.
I must admit that Free Verse and Prose have never been my 'thing' (furthermore I'm not gifted enough to write it. Regretfully, most exponents of same are not skilled sufficiently to make it 'work' for me. Only after reading your offering, did I realise it was not rhymed. That to me my friend, says a great deal about your ability. Thanks for the memories too. Having just written my third volume of same for my grand children, it reminded me of yet another part of my life I should record. Denis.

[jerryk]

Hi Denis;
thank you for your kind comment and your own recollections. Enjoyed both. And I know all about skinny dipping, one of the great summer delights, lol. I'm so glad that you can relate to my free-verse. Oh, yes; our childhood memories should be preserved, definitely. Actually, I enjoy writing both, rhymed poetry and the purely free-verse form--not to be confused with prose that one may find. What some call free-verse, too often is nothing more than prose with the lines cut up and scattered over a page. I always try to give my free-verse a melodious tone rather than rendering it like a straight report. In this matter I do respect the opinion of those who would disagree, but I am so pleased that you picked up on the (musical) flow of my free-verse. I remember reading that free-verse can have a music of its own, and that's what I have tried to emulate. I think that leaving poetry behind as a legacy for your children and grandchildren is a worthy endeavor. Kudos to you, Denis. Thank you for your kind words. Take care, my friend.

JerryK.

Hi Jerry, sorry to hear you've been ill and hope recovery is well under way? This was a great write and it took me back to my own childhood in the rural depths of Dorset (UK). Our bathing pool had been fashioned for a 'sheep dip' rather than a saw mill. It possessed a small dam and - what to we kidswas a deep pool - where we enjoyed cooling off in the heat of summer. Innocently naked and unashamed! Further downstream, was a flour mill. Ancient but still in working condition until after WW II. I went to school with the miller's son, and we loved nothing better than to investigate the various floors therein and watch the wooden wheels turn.
I must admit that Free Verse and Prose have never been my 'thing' (furthermore I'm not gifted enough to write it. Regretfully, most exponents of same are not skilled sufficiently to make it 'work' for me. Only after reading your offering, did I realise it was not rhymed. That to me my friend, says a great deal about your ability. Thanks for the memories too. Having just written my third volume of same for my grand children, it reminded me of yet another part of my life I should record. Denis.