The Feminine Touch (revised), Heptameter Sonnet from X10 challenge Options

[Larry]

The Feminine Touch

Soft pastel hues of yesterday are fated, like the bloom;
consumed by fiery tongues. That azure sky, a monochrome
stark canvas with his blinding eye or sullen clouded gloom
intrudes. So too is Night, that hoards his light from vaulted dome,

for neither grant reprieve from their monotony. Delay,
divide the glory I beheld with contemplative stare.
A panoply of colors burgeoning is on display
as gentle unseen brushes seem to stroke a rainbow's hair.

While Dawn’s delights bless foreign eyes by painting morn’s new face,
Eve’s cappuccino shadows seeped across my terrace wall.
Her delicate deft fingers smother sight in blush embrace
as nightingales cry out… each moment held my heart in thrall.

I, watching from my window, saw her fade into the night,
envisioning the beauty from her sister at first light.


S1L4 - Thanks Peggy
-------------------------

The Feminine Touch

Soft pastel hues of yesterday are fated, like the bloom;
consumed by fiery tongues. That azure sky, a monochrome
stark canvas with his blinding eye or sullen clouded gloom
intrudes. So too the night, that hoards his light from vaulted dome,

for neither grant reprieve from their monotony. As they
divide the glory I beheld with contemplative stare.
A palette of eternal change begins and ends each day
as gentle unseen brushes seem to stroke a rainbow's hair.

Sweet Dawn, a half a world away, while painting morn’s new face,
Eve’s cappuccino shadows seeped across my terrace wall.
Her delicate deft fingers smother sight in blush embrace
as nightingales cry out… each moment held my heart in thrall.

I, watching from my window, saw her fade into the night,
envisioning the beauty from her sister at first light.

[Merlin]

Hello Larry,

Quite interesting.

I'm not sure of the ending of V2>>

"a rainbows hair"

Are you meaning singular, plural, possessive, or hare?

Merlin

[Larry]

Hello Merlin,

Glad to read you once again. Thanks for dropping in and catching my error. It should read "rainbow's hair" as in singular possessive. I would surely love to see a rainbow hare. Might make a wonderful jacket but I wouldn't be too interested in eating the meat. I will change my "rainbow's" and thanks again.

Larry

[Eisa]

Hi Larry,

I always enjoy reading your work -- this is beautiful! I'm not that familiar with the heptameter sonnet, but this works well and I love the inner rhymes you've brought in too, like

So too the night, that hoards his light from vaulted dome

No nits from me on first read, but I'll be back later to have another look.

Snow

[Arnfinn]

G'day, Larry.

Long time since I've had the privilege.

Bit unusual the hepatmeter.

Cudden had the following to say.

Heptameter: A metrical line of seven feet, also known as a septenarius
or a 'fourteener'. Greek and Latin poets used it mainly for comic verse,
but has been little used in English verse since the Tudor period.

So, ye olde hept'o a very rare commodity,mate.

You have shown great versatility (like the pun) by not only writing a poem
using heptameter, but a Shakespearean style sonnet.

Hep, hep, by the riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight quick march.


The Feminine Touch

Soft pastel hues of yesterday are fated, like the bloom;
consumed by fiery tongues. That azure sky, a monochrome
stark canvas with his blinding eye or sullen clouded gloom
intrudes. So too the night, that hoards his light from vaulted dome,

for neither grant reprieve from their monotony. Delay,
divide the glory I beheld with contemplative stare.
A panoply of colors burgeoning is on display
as gentle unseen brushes seem to stroke a rainbow's hair.

While Dawn’s delights bless foreign eyes by painting morn’s new face,
Eve’s cappuccino shadows seeped across my terrace wall.
Her delicate deft fingers smother sight in blush embrace
as nightingales cry out… each moment held my heart in thrall.

I, watching from my window, saw her fade into the night,
envisioning the beauty from her sister at first light.


Mate, this is breathtaking beautiful. A very talented poem.

Except for ye younge 'cappuccino word' it could have been written by the bard
himself.


John.

[Larry]

Hi Snow & John,

Thanks for dropping by for a read and such kind words. Snow, you might check John's post to familiarize yourself with the definition/origin of the "heptameter sonnet". What a surprise, no nits nowhere!

John, I had to use "cappuccino" because it was one of the 10 words to be used in the challenge. I took the bait thrown out by Steve to write an answer to the challenge and stay away from breakfast or that much needed morning cup of coffee.

As far as this style being unused since the "Tudor" period. I try to stay near the Bard and normally reside a mere two door walk down the hall. Loved the versatility pun too!

Larry

[Maggie]

Hi Larry,

While I greatly enjoy your masterful and expressive wording and very apparent talent as a sonnetier, I'm nevertheless a bit confused with your actual content. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems you're saying day and night, which you indicate are masculine, have their faults and mention heat and monotony. On the other hand, if I'm reading this right, Dawn and Eve are better or at least more feminine in character and more pleasing. If I've read the poem correctly, since you mention "Dawn" and "Eve" by name and capitalize them as well, shouldn't you also mention "Day" by name and should probably capitalize it as well. While you do mention night, shouldn't you capitalize it as well.

If I've misinterpreted your poem, ignore my ramblings!

Peggy

[Larry]

Hi Peggy,

You are correct in your assessment that I am anthropomorphizing different periods of time as being gender specific. Since I didn't use the name "Day", it would be difficult to capitalize it as a name and besides, most days are not deserving of that kind of recognition. "Night", however, should have been capitalized as you have correctly surmised. This poem is from a X10 Challenge where one must use a given 10 words and incorporate them into some poetic form. Steve proposed an additional challenge where the poem should have nothing to do with breakfast or that all important cup (or pot) of coffee. I, being the type of person who does such things, took both challenges to heart and this poem is the result.

My premise of day and night being masculine have a lot to do with male attitudes in general. They are usually set in their ways and averse to change and that constant will eventually render most of them boring and monotonous.

"Pardon me guys but I'm that way, most of the male gender acquaintances I know are that way and whether you admit it or not, you are probably that way too"

Evening and dawn, on the other hand, are like most of the female persuasion. They seem to enjoy changing things. I know you have heard it said that no two sunsets are alike and the same could be said for every dawn. This is the path down which my muse led me. I shall correct and capitalize "Night" as you suggest, although I really do not like change (see!).

Larry