awash, lanturne Options

[JustDaniel]

awash

tear
away
masquerade
to aerate one
tear

©MLee Dickens'son 03 July 2007

[Terocon101]

Hi Daniel,

I love the clever wording in this. Even more, I like the sentiment conveyed, well my interpretation anyway. I think it could be interpreted a few different ways, which gives it a nice double-edge. So I've no nits or suggested changes.

Terry

[JustDaniel]

Hi Daniel,

I love the clever wording in this. Even more, I like the sentiment conveyed, well my interpretation anyway. I think it could be interpreted a few different ways, which gives it a nice double-edge. So I've no nits or suggested changes.

Terry

Thanks so much, Terry. I'm pleased that you see the possibility of different interpretations. My reading and writing in cinquain and rictameter in the last couple of weeks has probably influenced this one... since a lanturne I guess does not usually reapeat the first word... but I'm sure that you're coming to expect some word-twisting on my part, and this one kind of jumped out at me as a natural for what I'd been thinking of... the recovery issue of looking at yourself honestly in the mirror... and of honestly portraying yourself to others, removing the mask to them as well... both masks perhaps unconsciously or subconsciously worn. I one doesn't to it, his recovery will be a wash; if he does, he (and others possibly) may be awash with tears of regret, renewal, relief... in which tears serve as a wash.

I've found that it's often appropriate to 'give your mask a raid' to kind of surprise it... and yourself at the mirror.

Lightly, Daniel

[Terocon101]

Hi Daniel,

indeed I do expect and enjoy the wit of your writing. I'm a believer dual meaning and leaving interpretation up to the reader by not spelling things out too much. If a poem has another level its much more interesting and the reader is more likely to come back again to attempt to discover those hidden depths (IMHO).

Ergo, I will return to read this again, I'm sure

Terry

[Eisa]

awash

tear
away
masquerade
to aerate one
tear

©MLee Dickens'son 03 July 2007

Very clever Daniel -- you always have a way with words which I envy! I love the layers this one reveals.

Snow

[JustDaniel]

Hi Daniel,

indeed I do expect and enjoy the wit of your writing. I'm a believer in dual meaning and leaving interpretation up to the reader by not spelling things out too much. If a poem has another level, it's much more interesting, and the reader is more likely to come back again to attempt to discover those hidden depths (IMHO).

Thank you, and I could hardly agree more with your outlook! Thank you so much for your dropping in!

Ergo, I will return to read this again, I'm sure

Terry

... and I'll deLight in your return whenever you fancy... Daniel

[JustDaniel]

Very clever Daniel -- you always have a way with words which I envy! I love the layers this one reveals.

Snow

Well, then we qualify to participate in the Mutual Admiration Society !

deLighting in your enjoyment, Daniel

[4rum]

Excellent use of poetic devices available to those with a quick mind like youself. I usually pick up on the challenge, solution and added perspective once read, but your gift in creating is remarkable. This is an expressive lanturn, the added word play is a bonus indeed!

[JustDaniel]

Please forgive my lateness in responding to you, my new friend. I'm overwhelmed by your compliments, honestly. It brings to mind something that I wrote while pondering a puzzle over breakfast:

Flattery Street
is paved with potholes;
dies at the end
_{© MLee Dickens'son 21 Aug 2007}

... but of course I'm not accusing you of flattery! It is just something that has taken years to fight off... the tendency to NOT receive compliments as merely that... compliments.

so... THANK YOU, SINCERELY and with welcome!

deLightingly, Daniel

[Lady Poet]

awash

tear
away
masquerade
to aerate one
tear

©MLee Dickens'son 03 July 2007

Hi Daniel!

This is the first Lanturne I've seen that had the ending word the same as the beginning. I think that is fresh. Very redolent of the masters! However upon second reading I read the first word as tear (to rip) and the last word as tear (to cry) which in my mind was terribly brilliant and clever. Am I right in my assumption? Perhaps I got to complex in my thinking that tears unobstruct, or "air out" the ducts, and it would be a double edged sword in the meaning of "masquerade" where the tear might reflect joy or sorrow. Have I misinterperted or gotten close to what you were thinking...or is it just (to rip) all the way through? In either case you have written a fantastic Lanturne, one of my most favorite forms of the Japanese arts and I have no crits for you at this time, only praise. Well done!

Love, Pami