 OBESE-SANCE, Spoof |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
 Oct 31 06, 03:08
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#1
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 Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends  |
OBESE-SANCE
(apologies to Ray Parker Jr.) Something weird in your midriff neighbourhood Who you gonna call? If you’re XL range, and it looks so good Who you gonna call? If you're doing running - only in your head Who you gonna call? No cadaverous man sleeping in your bed Who you gonna call? GUT BOASTERS If you've got a butt and a freaky gut You'd better call GUT BOASTERS We wanna tell you something Bustin' makes us feel good Don't be fat alone, oh no GUT BOASTERS When you can’t get through your door And you know you want some more I think you better call GUT BOASTERS I think you better call GUT BOASTERS Alan McAlpine Douglas ·······  ······· |
  
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Oct 31 06, 03:24
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#2
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
QUOTE(Alan @ Oct 31 06, 10:08 ) [snapback]86362[/snapback] OBESE-SANCE (apologies to Ray Parker Jr.) Something weird in your midriff neighbourhood Who you gonna call? If you’re XL range, and it looks so good Who you gonna call? If you're doing running - only in your head Who you gonna call? No cadaverous man sleeping in your bed Who you gonna call? GUT BOASTERS If you've got a butt and a freaky gut You'd better call GUT BOASTERS We wanna tell you something Bustin' makes us feel good Don't be fat alone, oh no GUT BOASTERS When you can’t get through your door And you know you want some more I think you better call GUT BOASTERS I think you better call GUT BOASTERS Alan McAlpine Douglas  Excellent Alan! With your permission I would like to send this poem to my son, he studies in Switzerland. We recently had a fancy dress party at home for my daughters 21st (1985 party) and he went as a Ghost Buster. He has a good sense of humour and he will love this interpretation... I cant see any fault...it is just hilarious!  PP 
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Oct 31 06, 03:29
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#3
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear PP,
What a fast and fabulous response ! Of course you may send it on, just append my name ! Love Alan Excellent Alan! With your permission I would like to send this poem to my son, he studies in Switzerland. We recently had a fancy dress party at home for my daughters 21st (1985 party) and he went as a Ghost Buster. He has a good sense of humour and he will love this interpretation... I cant see any fault...it is just hilarious! PP [/quote] ······· ······· |
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Oct 31 06, 03:41
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#4
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
[quote name='Alan' date='Oct 31 06, 10:29 ' post='86365']
Dear PP, What a fast and fabulous response ! Of course you may send it on, just append my name ! Love Alan Excellent Alan! With your permission I would like to send this poem to my son, he studies in Switzerland. We recently had a fancy dress party at home for my daughters 21st (1985 party) and he went as a Ghost Buster. He has a good sense of humour and he will love this interpretation... I cant see any fault...it is just hilarious! PP [/quote] [/quote]  Oh but you see we are awake at the same time...unlike the Americans! Thank you, I will send the poem as a link to the site. My son knows that I belong to MM. I will let you know his response...in fact you may hear his laughter from the UK!  PP ······· ······· |
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 Oct 31 06, 10:52
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#5
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
Hi Alan~
 The feedback from my son in Switzerland - for what it's worth is: Call it Gut Boasters, by naming the poem Gut Boasters one is in 'the picture' straight away.  He thought it very funny!  Thank you for sharing it! PP
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Oct 31 06, 10:56
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#6
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Peter,
Had that, but wanted readers to "fall in" slowly - thanks for the feedback. Love Alan ······· ······· |
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Oct 31 06, 10:59
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#7
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
QUOTE(Alan @ Oct 31 06, 17:56 ) [snapback]86381[/snapback] Dear Peter, Had that, but wanted readers to "fall in" slowly - thanks for the feedback. Love Alan Hi Alan~ No problem. You are the poet!  Look forward to more from you. PP ······· ······· |
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Oct 31 06, 11:06
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#8
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 Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,596 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
For those who've slept through the past couple of decades or so, here are the lyrics of Ghostbusters.
I think I should call GutFlusters myself! Good job, Alan! Lightly jellin', Daniel 
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MM Award Winner        |
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Oct 31 06, 13:54
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#9
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Daniel,
Thanks. You got nervous tummy ? Lol Love Alan ······· ······· |
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Oct 31 06, 14:09
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#10
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,621 Joined: 18-August 05 From: Johannesburg, South Africa Member No.: 127 Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Jox |
QUOTE(Alan @ Oct 31 06, 20:54 ) [snapback]86391[/snapback] Dear Daniel, Thanks. You got nervous tummy ? Lol Love Alan Alan, I think you are being polite?  hee, hee, PP ······· ······· |
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Oct 31 06, 18:57
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#11
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 Assyrian Posts: 185 Joined: 3-October 06 From: DFW Texas Member No.: 278 Real Name: Dennis Martin Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Cynthia Neely |
 Yep, it's a keeper!One minor nit for a very funny read... er... sing We wanna tell you something Bustin' makes us feel good <- should "bustin'" be 'boastin'? Don't be fat alone, oh no GUT BOASTERS Lovin' every minute of it! Dennis! ······· ·······Faith is a fine invention
for gentlemen who see, but microscopes are prudent in an emergency! -Emily Dickinson MM Award Winner |
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Nov 1 06, 02:05
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#12
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Dennis,
Your tiger's eye picks up on a very good point - I left it as the original because when doing spoofs I try to change the absolute minimum consistent with making my new sense, and I thought those who are boastin' about bustin' would also be proud to be bustin' ... ? So I left it. Glad you enjoyed it ! And thanks. Love Alan Bustin' makes us feel good <- should "bustin'" be 'boastin'? Dennis! ······· ······· |
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Nov 2 06, 19:20
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#13
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 Babylonian Posts: 69 Joined: 24-February 05 From: Houma, LA Member No.: 101 Real Name: Leigh Ann Writer of: Poetry |
Hi Alan,
This was great! I laughed out loud when I read it, good job! |
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Nov 2 06, 19:23
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#14
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Ornate Oracle  Posts: 4,592 Joined: 31-October 03 From: New Jersey Member No.: 39 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Larry Carr |
Alan,
This is parody at its best. It has the same bounce and rhythm as the song. Glad I stopped by, this was an enjoyable diversion. JLY ······· ·······Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner      |
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Nov 3 06, 00:15
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#15
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Leigh Ann and John,
Thank you both very much. I do try to stay as close to original as possible, so the rhythm should still come through. Love Alan ······· ······· |
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Nov 5 06, 20:50
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#16
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Alan! I can't help but think: Gut BUSTERS since it's a parody on Ghost busters. Wiggle, jiggle, jiggle man.  No nits! ~Cleo
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner   |
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Nov 6 06, 17:44
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#17
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Cleo,
Thank you my dear, it is a parody on Ghostbusters, but it is also a spoonerism in it ! Hence Gut Boasters - then I got the thinking along the "If you've got it, flaut it" lines, and the rest, as they say, is history. Love Alan ······· ······· |
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Nov 6 06, 19:28
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#18
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hi Alan
You have me rofl -- Oh I needed a laugh tonight and you've certainly given me one. Thanks! Snow ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner    |
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Nov 7 06, 01:27
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#19
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Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Snow,
So pleased - will consider my debt to you ever so slightly repaid ! Love Alan ······· ······· |
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