I'm a seagull
turning the wind into music
hiding out
in my tree containing
all my bird knowledge
which must be remarkable
They FLY after all...
They soar

I'm soaring through life
connected to the heavens
like the birds
and sharing the celestial knowledge
bringing a bit here
and a bit there back
to the earth

Seeing the world
move by so quietly
so quickly...so birdlike

They see tops of trees
That must be nice
and clouds...

They look down
at the earth
intensely taking it all in...
celestial spirits
moving through the seasons,
restless...singing among
the beats of the sun
radiating images...shadows...

Tossing sideways, flickering
in flocks...hearts full of song
love in the air...

What creatures!

Jeanne, First let me say welcome to MM, I hope you will find a home here as I and others have. I liked you poem, a little simplistic in its idea and form, but it does flow very smooth and I like seagulls, and terns, actually most birds. Don't let me discourage you please keep posting, and we will keep reading. I am not here often due to poor health, but I do try to stay in touch.

Take care
Steve

Hello Jeanne

You have not interacted much since joining MM so we are not sure what kind of help you are seeking with your writing.

My main comment on this piece is that in several places you make obvious statements about birds that everyone takes for granted. Eg. we all know that birds fly and soar and look down at the terrestrial world. There is no need to explain this, like a grade 0 teacher, rather use the symbolism and powerful metaphor to enhance your deeper message.

We all envy and desire the freedom of flight in both a spiritual and material sense. That seagull is in each of us and triggers deep emotions. You will come to use him more effectively in due time.

Hugz,

Wally

Hi Jeanne!

I haven't been here regularly, so I belatedly welcome you to MM and hope you enjoy your stay with the family!

I love birds of all sorts, same as you. I used to enjoy them so much when I had a large garden, with bird bath and feeder installed.

And before that, when I lived in Argentine Patagonia. Wow... what memories!

Your poem is full of joy and spirit. I won't make any crits since you haven't put the *** that indicate you wish us to do so. Mainly, I lament the fact that you haven't mentioned the sea at all in your piece. I know that seagulls fly inland and perch atop trees, but somehow I relate them far more with the sea and all their activity around sandy beaches and perhaps following in the wake of sailing vessels.

That's not a crit, just a comment!

Cheers, hope to see more of your poems soon.
Psyche (Sylvia)