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Cross Country Train Trip (Image challenge), a random Pandora challenge no end date |
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Aug 14 05, 14:46
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Aug 15 05, 15:58
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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I forgot to mention that responses to this challenge should be posted right here in this tile as 'add reply'...
:D
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Nina_*
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Aug 15 05, 16:09
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Guest
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Hi Lori
Here is the picture that came into my mind when looking at Grace's interesting photo.
Evacuation
Compartments fill with chattering children, clutching gas-masks, suitcases, brown-paper wrapped sandwiches.
Tearful parents stand forlornly, watching precious cargo depart for safer homes, far from bomb-blitzed London.
As train steams onwards, eager eyes scan horizon for sights, sounds, smells never seen before - cows, sheep, farms, lush green fields.
Destination reached, tired youngsters huddle together, anxiously awaiting collection by unknown hosts.
Nina
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Aug 15 05, 17:42
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Wow Nina.
This is excellent response to the picture!
I never would have thought of warring, but I'll assume you are referring to WWII in the 40's ?
Every word of your poem speaks volumes (pardon the cliche).
I am in awe this evening.
Well done! ~Cleo :pharoah2
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Jox_*
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Aug 16 05, 05:06
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Guest
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Hi Nina,
Your second fab poem which I've read today - you certainly have full steam up (groan!)
The mass evacuation of children from London in WWII was a sensible precaution but the mass destruction which was feared was less severe to London, thankfully (though that wouldn't help if one was a casualty, of course). HMG also evacuated as part of its programme to make people be aware of the war (the first year was known as "The Phoney War" as little happened in the UK - it was followed by The Blitz and The Battle of Britain, though (Talk about lull before the storm).
I had in mind a simple time-travel idea for my Pandora - where the train is just the vehicle - literal and metaphorical - to transport one back in time. But your poem actually uses the train and the centre-piece of the work and has me wondering about trains. (I have not travelled on that many steam trains). Just using the train as a transport to the past seems inadequate now so I'm thinking around.
I know this isn't a crit forum but, even if it were, there isn't much - if anything - to suggest here. Lori is absolutely right - each word is beautifully employed... as with your Tempest poem. If I were you I'd write as many poems as I could spare the time for now - you've hit an especially golden patch by the look of it.
OK I'm waffling. I have nowt to say really, apart from this really is brill. I don't feel we're in competition but I do feel you've set the standard very high indeed.
Well done and thanks for the read.
J.
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Aug 16 05, 05:31
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (Nina @ Aug. 16 2005, 00:33) Hi Lori
Gosh, thanks.
I am indeed referring to WWII. Millions of children were evacuated from London and other big cities to the countryside without their parents as it was thought they'd be safer away from the bombings. The children were taken to railway stations and put on trains. Once at their destination children were chosen to go and live with local residents. Some evacuees found it a positive experience but for some it was a very traumatic nightmare as they were badly treated. More info if you are interested HERE
The train in Grace's photo is an old fashioned steam train, which only exist now on special lines. Looking at the picture, just made me think of it packed with children, many of whom had never seen the countryside.
I couldn't imagine having to send my children away from home and not see them for months on end, having them brought up with strangers, yet having to do it thinking it the best for their survival.
Grace - wonderful photo as usual. Where was it taken? Nina Yes, this is a very inspiring poem of yours Nina! :pharoah2
Thanks for the link too - I shall check it out! :dance:
~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Nina_*
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Aug 16 05, 07:40
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Guest
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Hi J
Your second fab poem which I've read today - you certainly have full steam up (groan!) thank you :grinning: (no need for you to groan though)
I had in mind a simple time-travel idea for my Pandora - where the train is just the vehicle - literal and metaphorical - to transport one back in time. But your poem actually uses the train and the centre-piece of the work and has me wondering about trains. (I have not travelled on that many steam trains). Just using the train as a transport to the past seems inadequate now so I'm thinking around.
Time travel. yes, go for it! Why not, it sounds like a brilliant idea. I want to come along for the ride. I don't suppose you ever watched Goodnight Sweetheart on tv, with Nicholas Lindhurst. He accidently found a time portal that took him back to an East End pub in WWII. He fell in love with the barmaid there and ended up living two lives, his present one and his past one (my turn to waffle)
Actually I have never been on a steam train in my life.
I know this isn't a crit forum but, even if it were, there isn't much - if anything - to suggest here. Lori is absolutely right - each word is beautifully employed... as with your Tempest poem. If I were you I'd write as many poems as I could spare the time for now - you've hit an especially golden patch by the look of it.
Thank you much appreciated. I will have to see if inspiration strikes, last week my muse was on holiday and I wrote nothing.
I have nowt to say really, apart from this really is brill. I don't feel we're in competition but I do feel you've set the standard very high indeed.
Well done and thanks for the read. Again thanks and I look forward to reading yours :grinning:
Nina
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Guest_Jox_*
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Aug 16 05, 07:51
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Guest
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Hi Nina,
Thanks for your kind comments.
I don't know that tv programme, no, sorry. Is Lyndhurst that chap from "Butterflies" some years ago - played a son? I best know Lyndhurst as being the capital of the New Forest! (S England) Sounds an interesting concept, though.
I have travelled on steam trains in Cheshire (NW England) when they were in regular service and, since then, on the Rheidol railway (Dyfed, Cymru) and the "Watercress Line" - near me in Hampshire and a few other tourist lines.
They are noisey and smelly things - but I quite like watching the countryside go by - without the push and shove and angst of commuting somewhere - which one can enjoy on these tourist lines.
J.
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Guest_Nina_*
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Aug 16 05, 07:56
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Guest
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Hi J
I don't know that tv programme, no, sorry. Is Lyndhurst that chap from "Butterflies" some years ago - played a son? I best know Lyndhurst as being the capital of the New Forest! (S England) Sounds an interesting concept, though.
yes, he's the one. I used to love watching Butterflies, brill comedy. Sometimes I can so empathise with Ria (Wendy Craig), though my cooking is not quite the disaster area hers was.
I've been through Lyndhurst on the train on the way to Bournemouth many a time.
Nina
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Aug 16 05, 07:59
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,660
Joined: 23-August 03
From: Somerset, England
Member No.: 22
Real Name: Grace
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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Hi Nina,
What a great response and I remember so well being on such a train at the age of 5 with my big brother and sister singing "We don't know where we're going till we're there." When I got there, (Leicester) I hated it, not the place, just being parted from my mum!
I am amazed you didn't immediately get wafted to Platform 9 3/4!
How about it?
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Guest_Nina_*
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Aug 16 05, 08:27
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Guest
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Hi Grace
What a great response and I remember so well being on such a train at the age of 5 with my big brother and sister singing "We don't know where we're going till we're there." When I got there, (Leicester) I hated it, not the place, just being parted from my mum!
How awful for you, that is so young to be sent away from your Mum. How long were you in Leicester?
I am amazed you didn't immediately get wafted to Platform 9 3/4!
How about it?
ROFL, you know, it didn't even cross my mind, but yes that is a possibility. Mind you Lori's suggestion of picking a bygone era, took me in a totally different direction.
I will think about it, though I think Hayley would write a better piece on that topic.
Nina
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Guest_Jox_*
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Aug 16 05, 09:20
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Guest
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© Mike Gable, 2005. I, Mike Gable, do assert my right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with Sections 77 and 78 of The Copyrights, Designs And Patents Act, 1988. (Laws of Cymru & England, as recognised by international treaties). This work was simultaneously copyrighted in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the United States of America. This work is posted as an unpublished work in order to elicit critical assistance and other helpful comment, only.
Ref: MG 0455 AB
The (Failed) Gold Heist of 1950 - Part II by MG
Our yearly visit to Dad - who stole gold in transit, failed his escape to Hermitage.
Journey to Leicester, have I packed our souwesters? Mum’s worry whilst squatting a midge.
Businessmen up front, families behind, bearing their brunt, so hot we’d love drinks from a fridge.
Rocks in the valley, travel Scrabble with Aunt Sally, watching for Indians on the ridge.
Passengers prattle, our wooden carriages rattle, as we track along this stone bridge.
(end)
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Guest_Nina_*
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Aug 16 05, 11:57
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Guest
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Hi J
You paint a vivid picture of a child's uncomfortable journey to visit his father who I assume is in prison after a failed robbery. I love the line: watching for Indians on the ridge. a great picture of the boy imagining he is in the Wild West
I enjoyed this
Nina
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Guest_Jox_*
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Aug 16 05, 12:17
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Guest
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Hi Nina,
Yes, he's in Leicester nick. These are the days before cars were easily available to take people to visit often.
Thanks very much.
J.
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Guest_Jox_*
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Aug 17 05, 03:33
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Guest
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Anyone else care to have a go?
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Aug 17 05, 11:31
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (Jox @ Aug. 16 2005, 10:20) Ref: MG 0455 AB
The (Failed) Gold Heist of 1950 - Part II by MG
Our yearly visit to Dad - who stole gold in transit, failed his escape to Hermitage.
Journey to Leicester, have I packed our souwesters? Mum’s worry whilst squatting a midge.
Businessmen up front, families behind, bearing their brunt, so hot we’d love drinks from a fridge.
Rocks in the valley, travel Scrabble with Aunt Sally, watching for Indians on the ridge.
Passengers prattle, our wooden carriages rattle, as we track along this stone bridge.
(end) Well done James! :claps:
I'll be along but not for a few days at least (hard to create on weekdays) LOL!
Cleo :pharoah2
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Cathy_*
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Aug 26 05, 23:20
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Guest
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Seeking Better Life
Worn shoes hurry along, nearly lift me off my feet; barely off the boat, ushered onto rusty train.
Mom grips my hand tight, it hurts, I know she's scared; eyes dart from window to window memorizing everything she sees.
The ride is slow and clumsy jerking us back and forth, to and fro, wheels grind forward on the tracks.
What lies ahead? Mom says better life; sold everything when daddy died just to make this trip.
She strains toward the window, wan cheeks now blushed, tears create rivulets; too choked up to speak.
Out there in the harbor stands a woman, faded grey; torch in hand, raised up high to promise freedom to all men.
Cathy Bollhoefer~ copyright Aug2005
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Guest_Toumai_*
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Aug 27 05, 03:22
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Guest
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Gosh, I missed all this cos of being away. I shall have to have a go, but not time just now.
Wow, what fantastic responses. Well done to the three of you (three cheers? lol).
Fran
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Guest_Nina_*
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Aug 27 05, 04:05
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Guest
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Hi Cathy
Great response to the challenge. So many people took the biggest risk of their lives, leaving behind everything they have known, fleeing poverty and oppression for the dream of a better life in America, many not even speaking a word of English. I can only imagine how they felt on seeing the statue of liberty for the first time, arriving on Ellis Island and then disgorging into the streets of New York. There must have been a mixture of fear, bewilderment and excitement.
I very much enjoyed the read.
Nina
Fran - thanks for your three cheers :pharoah2
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