Hi Adam,
It's good to see you here and posting. This is an intriguing poem and I really enjoyed reading it.
Tonight my daughter said that the sun was beneath the grass. She’s six and doesn’t know how things work.
I like the simplistic tone of this, very typical of a child's thoughts
Tonight I laid on the couch, trying to sleep, staring at yesterday and the day before that, everything buried beneath the grass.
This Stanza leaves me wondering why you are sleeping on the couch (am I reading to much into this?) Yes I know that feeling when you can't sleep when you try & evaluate the previous days
I’m thirty-three and I don’t remember what it’s like to know where the sun goes at night.
I agree that the ending could be stronger and the repeat of 'doesn't know' doesn't help. Perhaps Posty is right to finish the poem earlier.
Food for thought
Eira
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