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> Times 10 challenge, Sapphires Short story
JustDaniel
post Aug 7 20, 05:46
Post #181


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Referred By:Lori



premature
manners
Parliament
cat food
Congress
alligator
Jumping Jehovah
catfish
Rhodes
Poets Corner


With your fantastic stories, Denis, how could we possibly bring them to a PREMATURE end, especially when you forget your MANNERS and return to use your own words without giving us a chance to fully appreciate your entry and to take up your 10-word challenge ourselves!

I have taken the matter up with your PARLIAMENT, and they have made a proclamation:

You must eat CAT FOOD for breakfast, after which you will stand before our own CONGRESS wearing ALLIGATOR shoes, and after being introduced as a violator of protocol, you must loudly utter "JUMPING JEHOVAH" ten times... and then have blackened CATFISH for lunch, after which you'll have to utilize your RHODES scholar education to produce at least two meaningful haiku and/or senryu worthy of our POETS CORNER, and then to post it here somewhere in your next entry, making it, in effect a haibun....

so don't forget!

Congress
Jumping Jehovah
catfish
manners
Poets Corner
haibun
reparations
humility
capitalization
capriciousness


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Rhymer
post Aug 7 20, 07:21
Post #182


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Real Name: Denis Barter
Writer of: Poetry



Continuation.

Congress
Jumping Jehovah
catfish
manners
Poets Corner
haiku
reparations
humility
capitalization
capriciousness

In all Humility I ask you to excuse my Capriciousness Daniel - it's long been a trait of Poets Corner poetry. Haiku? Not so sure about that as I prefer the more descriptive style of composition to that of the Haiku or? Whatever..
Of course you must have noticed, when replying - using your ten words, I employ Capitalisation of the words used. This is not only a help to myself, but also ensures you, the reader, notes their usage. In all my writings, I try to display good Manners be it to You, Sylvia or perhaps Jumping Jehovah - who is often used by myself, as a expletive when my hard earned work goes for a walk-about! Far too frequently of late. This is the time I would go fishing for Catfish to make Reparations for my ill mannered eruptions, but our local river, The Trent - has no such resident species. A trait I seem to have acquired from watching too much of the CBS News on the antics of your Congress.

As a show of my penance, will the following qualify as a Haiku? Don’t be nasty in your critique Daniel!
Psyche - in lower case you note - is used here as a noun - not a sobriquet. Rhymer.

Summer Haiku.

Summer reflections
in blank verse, poetry, prose
food for my psyche.

Rhymer. Aug 7th, 2020.Poets Corner

reparations
humility
capitalization
capriciousness
Poets Corner
Poseidon
Atlas
psychic
crumbs
catastrophic
 
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JustDaniel
post Aug 7 20, 12:57
Post #183


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Referred By:Lori



humility
reparations
catastrophic
Poseidon
Atlas
capitalization
crumbs
psychic
Poets Corner
capriciousness


You have demonstrated ample HUMILITY in your REPARATIONS, according to the monitor from your Parliament, so I will forgive your only writing one senryu (haiku would have not only the seasonal reference that you utilize, but also have a nature-world feel to it) instead of the prescribed two minimum. (You also did not use "haibun" but I'll re-include that on my new list, as you may have copied the list before I modified "haiku" into "haibun") The shortfalls are not CATASTROPHIC, and besides, the monitor holds the trump card, and, quite honestly, though he doesn't have a trident, like POSEIDON, he does look uncomfortably like ATLAS, so I ain't gonna argue with him!

Your senryu is actually a very creditable piece, though your CAPITALIZATION of "summer" in inappropriate, since it is not a proper noun in most circles. Also, neither haiku nor senryu have titles, but I'm not faulting you over such CRUMBS. I don't suspect that you have PSYCHIC abilities, so if you hadn't studied these particular poetic forms in your POETIC CORNER, I can't expect you to be conversant with such things! One other thing, "blank verse" technically refers not only to verse without rhyme, but especially to verse that uses iambic pentameter (which of course no one can do in senryu or haiku), so perhaps "free" might have been a better choice... and of course there should not be a period (.). By the way, these forms do not need to have 5-7-5 syllables, and in fact, LESS is preferred by aficionados.

You might have written (and perhaps a bit verbose, but with a wry wink?) something like this:

summer reflection
in thoughts sans reason nor rhyme
food for my psyche


If you had included this and perhaps another ku interspersed within and/or concluding your piece, your prose would have been with CAPRICIOUSNESS transformed into a haibun. https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-...ems-poetic-form deLightingly, Daniel sun.gif

reparations
humility
capitalization
capriciousness
haibun
fallacious
interrogation
ten-gallon hat
barrister
pantaloons


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Rhymer
post Aug 8 20, 07:46
Post #184


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Joined: 27-October 10
From: Havelock Ontario Canada
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Real Name: Denis Barter
Writer of: Poetry



[size="4
Quite frankly Daniel, I couldn't give a monkey's kiss whether I wrote a Haiku or in some other format. Having been to Japan and experienced much of their culture - forgotten most of what it was like back 70 years ago, - the chances are, it is likely very much like our Western Culture: gone to Hell in a handcart as the saying goes, or at least, going there! Yes I do know what a Hailun is, though it would seem MM's spell checker doesn't! I hope Sylvia can pick up on this for I have some very urgent personal business to attend to, that precludes my writing much more on this site for some time to come. I might be able to squeeze in a posting - barring complaints - or a Chapter later but it won't be soon. Added to my very busy schedule I have to get after my Internet provider as my E-mail side of it, has been kaput for over a week now, and I have urgent correspondence to attend to. Some of my e-mail friends will think I’m away on the River Styx trip, to join the recent departures. My small circle of Friends is shrinking far too quickly for my liking of late.

Incidentally there's one thing that always concerns me where poetry is concerned. (Too many) Experts rile me! They, who have the thought "they" are the qualified ones who can critique and often do, tell me I have not stuck to the set format/formula and forthwith proceed to re-write my poetry!! I like all to understand, my writing is and always has been, how I see life, and how I want to ‘describe’ personal incidents, thoughts and feelings, and to hell with the “format" unless I am experimenting or, ‘having a ‘go’ - at attempting a new arrangement. As one who has admired Shakespeare and his many talents, I am well aware of the differences in Free Verse: Blank Verse and whatever you care to mention. But who cares? Not me! I enjoy writing in whichever format I think most appropriate. I let the topic find whichever format suits it best. However, if and when the shoe is on the other foot? Brother do they get upset! I can fault many postings I read, but exercise good manners and restraint and move on without comment!
Truth is, I'm too damned old and far too stubborn to allow myself to be unduly bothered by it. and ignore most, if not all of such twaddle. I am one who has made his own way in this world. Either accepting what I cannot change, or work around it. However, I do generally let the Critic know. If all goes well? I’ll be back later. Rhymer.

PS: Incidentally, despite all, I have a very large - shall we say “band of Followers” all around the world. Average weekly readership of my poetry on another site exceeds a thousand reads! For me? That is what counts. Ciao for now Denis.
[/size]
 
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JustDaniel
post Aug 8 20, 09:59
Post #185


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Referred By:Lori



Well I don't give a monkey's ass either. I'm out of here permanently.

Tired of your shit in face of all my kindness.

Bye


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Rhymer
post Aug 8 20, 12:05
Post #186


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Writer of: Poetry



I just hope you don't display the same degree of kindness ( not the word I would use) you have shown me Daniel. You must be a very lonely man. Have fun wherever you go.
 
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JustDaniel
post Aug 9 20, 03:20
Post #187


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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Denis, I must apologize and ask you to forgive me for swearing in my previous remarks to you. I've NEVER sworn on this site before, so far as I know. I've embarrassed myself with my outburst.

However, I will not return to this 10 word adventure with you, not because of your lengthy, engaging, sweeping and extremely interesting stories, because I have ALWAYS LOVED THEM.

It's because of your snide remarks to me, your condescending words, your know-it-all remarks to my attempts to encourage, assist, resolve misunderstandings, cajole you, and walking-on-eggshells lest I somehow or another offend, upset or disturb your sensitivities somehow, or not follow your expectations about the stories that I OUGHT to produce... stories that were humorous, care-free, silly, inconsistent with previous entries LONG BEFORE YOU ARRIVED in the thread. I simply can't take your attitude and ability to be so quickly and easily offended by just about anything that I say... and also for never apologizing for the number of times you've been wrong.

sLightly disappointed with myself, Daniel sun.gif

P.S. As to your concern about MM's red-underling of words, indicating that they're somehow wrong, you might utilize that feature yourself, since virtually EVERY entry of yours has had a minimum of two to three typos / misspellings (and not merely differences between American and Brit English).

P.P.S. Your remark that I must be a lonely man HURT ME DEEPLY, STRIKING TO MY HEART! It was the most unkind thing that ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME on this site.... EVER. You do not know me at all, Denis, and in our interchanges here you've not made any effort do know me, while I've reached out to you with great interest in you, your current situation, your wife and how her situation is affecting and is likely to affect you even more; your career, your garden with all your work and creations and creativity, your previous jobs and all your world-travels. You've not reached out to know a thing about me, but rather have taken snipes at me over and over. I've simply been worn down by it all. I'm old too, and there's only so much I can take.

Best wishes to you and your wonderful wife. I hope also that you'll be able to get your computer situation resolved so that you can get on comfortably reading and writing your poetry and be able to continue your email correspondence. Only the best to you.


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Psyche
post Aug 9 20, 16:10
Post #188


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Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Grace Galton & David Ting



QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Aug 7 20, 14:57 ) *
humility
reparations
catastrophic
Poseidon
Atlas
capitalization
crumbs
psychic
Poets Corner
capriciousness


You have demonstrated ample HUMILITY in your REPARATIONS, according to the monitor from your Parliament, so I will forgive your only writing one senryu (haiku would have not only the seasonal reference that you utilize, but also have a nature-world feel to it) instead of the prescribed two minimum. (You also did not use "haibun" but I'll re-include that on my new list, as you may have copied the list before I modified "haiku" into "haibun") The shortfalls are not CATASTROPHIC, and besides, the monitor holds the trump card, and, quite honestly, though he doesn't have a trident, like POSEIDON, he does look uncomfortably like ATLAS, so I ain't gonna argue with him!

Your senryu is actually a very creditable piece, though your CAPITALIZATION of "summer" in inappropriate, since it is not a proper noun in most circles. Also, neither haiku nor senryu have titles, but I'm not faulting you over such CRUMBS. I don't suspect that you have PSYCHIC abilities, so if you hadn't studied these particular poetic forms in your POETIC CORNER, I can't expect you to be conversant with such things! One other thing, "blank verse" technically refers not only to verse without rhyme, but especially to verse that uses iambic pentameter (which of course no one can do in senryu or haiku), so perhaps "free" might have been a better choice... and of course there should not be a period (.). By the way, these forms do not need to have 5-7-5 syllables, and in fact, LESS is preferred by aficionados.

You might have written (and perhaps a bit verbose, but with a wry wink?) something like this:

summer reflection
in thoughts sans reason nor rhyme
food for my psyche


If you had included this and perhaps another ku interspersed within and/or concluding your piece, your prose would have been with CAPRICIOUSNESS transformed into a haibun. https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-...ems-poetic-form deLightingly, Daniel sun.gif

reparations
humility
capitalization
capriciousness
haibun
fallacious
interrogation
ten-gallon hat
barrister
pantaloons


The barrister strode into the courtroom wearing a ten-gallon hat and yellow pantaloons. He was not at all humble, anybody could tell by the robes he wore. He began his interrogation of the accused person in a capricious and fallacious manner.
The lady judge asked him to step up to her high desk and ordered him to present a written manuscript of all his presumptuous questions and other evidence he hadn't acquired in court.
The silly man wrote everything capitalized, a most 'ornery way of expressing himself. He was only slightly literate, but he ended his manuscript with a haibun:

My lovely lady
you flowering blossom wisdom
justice will prevail

The lady judge smirked at his cajoling manner and dreadful haibun. She adjourned the session till the next week and banged her wooden hammer angrily.
unsure.gif Juggle.gif Read.gif

reparations
capriciousness
humble
barrister
haibun
knight templars
squeaky
willow tree
gasp
kidneys


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"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

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JustDaniel
post Aug 9 20, 22:45
Post #189


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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



humble
barrister
reparations
haibun
capriciousness
gasp
kidneys
knights templar
squeaky
willow tree


The HUMBLED BARRISTER made REPARATIONS with this written HAIBUN:

I had filled the court with my CAPRICIOUSNESS, causing onlookers to GASP. I was making it difficult for your KIDNEYS and intestines to process all of the waste product that you, Fair Judge, had observed from me. I certainly was not battling with skill of the esteemed KNIGHTS TEMPLAR. I hope that you will accept my deep apology and offer me a SQUEAKY-clear slate.
a pile left
beneath the WILLOW TREE
no poo-pooing bench

knights templar
squeaky
willow tree
gasp
kidneys
rice
cantaloupe
knee pads
breakfast
riposte


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Psyche
post Aug 10 20, 16:23
Post #190


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From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Grace Galton & David Ting



Very funny, Daniel. I'll do the word challenges now, don't think I can manage the story today. What a shame you and Denis get on badly. I didn't interfere, would only make matters worse.
Hope your knee and all health issues are much better, keep safe, Sylvia


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Mis temas favoritos



"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Aug 10 20, 20:18
Post #191


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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



I'm sorry too, Sylvia. I bent over backwards to accommodate, and I hope that he returns after the matters that he's currently tending to. I love his stories. I didn't love being expected to follow in his suit. I've ALWAYS written with humor, and only occasionally something serious. The challenge of adding five words makes writing a serious story something of a prodigious task unless you have the kind of broad life experience over 80 plus years that he has. Will look forward to your next episode. Daniel sun.gif


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Psyche
post Aug 12 20, 19:19
Post #192


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Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,859
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Grace Galton & David Ting



Hi Daniel, yes, Denis has travelled and worked all over the world. His stories are very good, but I can't match them, even tho' I've also travelled plenty during my lifetime.
As usual, I finished the word challenges and don't think I'll do the story tonight. Maybe, after supper.
Keep safe, Sylvia


·······IPB·······

Mis temas favoritos



"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
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