Swap Quatrain [ Cleo's Own Form ], For the creative mind Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi all.

Welcome to Cleo's 'Swap Quatrain' tile! As creator of this form, the Swap Quatrain Parameters are as follows:

Each stanza must be in the form of a quatrain that contains a reversal of line 1 in line 4. You can swap the words at any point you choose so long as they remain written in sequential order. The rhyme scheme is managed in the couplets as AABB CCDD EEFF etc. and cannot be repeated in subsequent stanzas. There are no metrical requirements, although iambs are recommended.

Good luck!

~Cleo  


Crypt-Keeper's Irony

He wanders tombs through dark of night
in search of treasures to alight
a path to riches; sweet perfumes.
Through dark of night he wanders tombs.

This thirst he seldom seems to quench
consuming dust’s archaic stench
whilst raiding chambers, sneers death’s curse...
he seldom seems to quench this thirst.

Inscriptions warn of punishment
in frail hereafter: life’s lament
defiled - lest one Pharaoh’s scorn
of punishment, inscriptions warn.

Adorned facade discreetly hid
Necropolis’ broken lid
that once beheld doubt’s living god --
discreetly hid, adorned facade.

In Thebes amid disunity,
Stonemasons’ opportunity
is shared in Nile’s mild reeds
amid disunity in Thebes.

Crypt-keepers feign incompetence
whitewashed in deben bribe's defense
while Ma’at is droned through priestly reign;
incompetence -- crypt-keepers feign.

This irony remains today,
the ones in power do betray
a nourishing of Ka campaigns.
Today, this irony remains.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter


_{Notes:
Necropolis: An extensive and elaborate burial place serving an ancient city
Deben: A measurement of cost (a copper weight of .5 ounces) used as the unit of value for exchange, calculating value directly from the weight of gold for items of higher value, and from the weight of copper for less valuable items in an economy without coinage. A simple laborers pay was equal to 100 deben for 10-15 months work.
Ma’at: The concept of order, truth and justice. After death, a person's soul is weighed against the feather of Ma'at to determine their fate in the afterworld.
ka (in Ancient Egyptian Religion): A spiritual ‘double’ of the deceased, living within the body during life, and surviving the body after death. It was believed to be one of two spirits inhabiting the body, the main component of the soul. The ka is closely tied with the ba, the personality or psychic force of the deceased.}


A Sculptor True

Beyond the stones in times of kings
remains an antique tomb that sings
of shattered dreams and rotting bones;
in times of kings, beyond the stones.

A sculptor true, his boundless craft
whose visage served to sway the daft
a pedestal he’d made, adieu;
his boundless craft, a sculptor true.

A king no more of worthy lands
Ozymandias shifts in sands
among the weathered rocky shore;
of worthy lands, a king no more.

Do not despair, he lives in us
for we remember him and thus
his works survive, our souls do share;
he lives in us, do not despair.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter

[Cleo_Serapis]

The Prize

The crowd cheered on in joyful stance
as Knight Will Cace raised up his lance
and struck his foe with skillful brawn;
in joyful stance, the crowd cheered on.

His foe fell hard displaced from steed,
the one that plunged did not succeed.
Fulfilled yet stunned, he yields regard;
displaced from steed, his foe fell hard.

The prize attained for hero Case,
his status raised in Kingdom’s grace.
A celebration, honor gained -
for hero Case, the prize attained.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter
All Rights Reserved

[Cleo_Serapis]

Temptation

In blooms of spring the hours fade
with songbird’s call in trees of jade
transcending twilight, Eden sings;
the hours fade in blooms of spring.

The thorns of Eve rejuvenate
the fruit of man’s perplexed estate
where brilliance lay in dormant leave;
rejuvenate the thorns of Eve.

Temptation finds a fragrant fruit
soon plucked from Paradise’s chute
and eaten whole, the banner blinds
a fragrant fruit; temptation finds.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved as an unpublished work.

[Guest_Tao_*]

Hail Cleo,

The creator of the Swap Quatrain! I just found out from reading CarrieAnn's Pandora post. Where have I been?

This new form is refreshing, yet it recalls older genres. How did you come up with this, oh holy form-stress, oh clever shape shifter?

David

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hail Cleo,

The creator of the Swap Quatrain! I just found out from reading CarrieAnn's Pandora post. Where have I been?

This new form is refreshing, yet it recalls older genres. How did you come up with this, oh holy form-stress, oh clever shape shifter?

David

Thank you David!  

Holy-form-stress, !  

I actually just had an idea one day to try and make up a new form, since I was in the midst of learning about sonnets back then. Literally, I just wanted to create something that I hadn't seen elsewhere that allowed for meter and rhyme. I had been watching 'A Knight's Tale' on Showtime at the time and wrote the first line:

The crowd cheered on in joyful stance
and decided I would use 'lance' in there somewhere since I was writing about a joust, hence L2. Then I swapped L1 and filled in L3 last in the first stanza. This is how I write the Swap (or I may write L1 or L4 first, then swap 'em, then fill in L2 and L3).  

Try one?    

~Cleo

[jgdittier]

Dear Cleo,
It is typical for all of us poetry hobbyists to explore new poetic forms. Considering that poetry's been around for a few years and there have been more than several practitioners, there is a surprizingly small number of accepted forms.
I believe the only one I've come upon which deserves a place in the text books is the Swap Quatrain.
Cheers,     Ron

[jgdittier]

I'll swap this thought with you my dear,
If it's of you, it's full of cheer,
For mother spoke and I've been taught
with you my dear I'll swap this thought.

A love so true as ours has been,
A melody by violin,
For we are one who once were two
As ours has been a love so true.

As we go on we're hand in hand,
Devotion we can but expand.
Our eyes so bright as summer's dawn,
When hand in hand as we go on.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Dear Cleo,
It is typical for all of us poetry hobbyists to explore new poetic forms. Considering that poetry's been around for a few years and there have been more than several practitioners, there is a surprizingly small number of accepted forms.
I believe the only one I've come upon which deserves a place in the text books is the Swap Quatrain.
Cheers,     Ron

Hello Ron!  

You've made a friend for life with me! Thanks so much for your praise of this form!  

Let's spread the word and write one a week for the next month, shall we? Let's try and focus on the holiday season?  

I'll start a separate thread for the idea - and DO let me know what you think!  

Cheers!  
~Cleo  

[Cleo_Serapis]

I'll swap this thought with you my dear,
If it's of you, it's full of cheer,
For mother spoke and I've been taught
with you my dear I'll swap this thought.

A love so true as ours has been,
A melody by violin,
For we are one who once were two
As ours has been a love so true.

As we go on we're hand in hand,
Devotion we can but expand.
Our eyes so bright as summer's dawn,
When hand in hand as we go on.

Lovely poem Ron!  

You've gotten something magical in your life and turned it into an even more magical piece!

Cheers!
~Cleo  

[Cleo_Serapis]

A Sculptor True

Beyond the stones in times of kings
remains an antique tomb that sings
of shattered dreams and rotting bones;
in times of kings, beyond the stones.

A sculptor true, his boundless craft
whose visage served to sway the daft
a pedestal he’d made, adieu;
his boundless craft, a sculptor true.

A king no more of worthy lands
Ozymandias shifts in sands
among the weathered rocky shore;
of worthy lands, a king no more.

Do not despair, he lives in us
for we remember him and thus
his works survive, our souls do share;
he lives in us, do not despair.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved as an unpublished work.

[Cleo_Serapis]

   A Pure Celebration  

On choppy waters the Mayflower sailed
carrying Ancestry: Atlantic scaled.
King James thus bred Revolution's daughters,
the Mayflower sailed on choppy waters.

Plymouth Plantation, our vast history,
a Voyage to plant the first colony.
Refugees sought long to find salvation,
Our vast history, Plymouth Plantation.

Puritan pilgrims put fate in God's hands
intent to take up the Wampanoag's lands,
Settlers of outcasts who vowed to create
in Gods hands, puritan pilgrims put fate.

Bigotrous victim from lands near and far
reject "Revelation" imposing 'Saint's Star'.
Mathew the Elder gave thanks: a new dictum
from lands near and far, bigotrous victim.

Forced to seek aid from the 'savage' they fought,
Squanto did teach them the ways of the crop.
First harvest a bounty, by skill and spade
from the 'savage' they fought, forced to seek aid.

A pure celebration that lasted three days,
Pilgrim and Indian together gave praise
bountiful blessings of labor's new nation
that lasted three days, a pure celebration.

© 2004 Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved as an unpublished work

[Guest__*]

CHRISTMAS COMES BUT ONCE ALL YEAR

From bright New Year right through to May
big stores recover from Christmas fray;
they pack away all their fake “cheer”,
right through to May, from bright New Year.

In early Spring the buyers rush
about the trade fairs over-lush
with toys and knick-knacks, every damn thing,
the buyers rush in early Spring.

In August time the decks are cleared
to fix for fest soon to be feared;
the first of this season’s pantomime,
the decks are cleared in August time.

Come September new staff are hired,
the rest ? With enthusiasm fired :
“Customer is Christmas King, Remember”,
new staff are hired come September.

From October, while all is hectic
behind scenes is made decor eclectic,
as yet the staff all stay quite sober,
while all is hectic from October.

At start of November the going gets tough;
deliveries ! All these piles of stuff !
For record sales, give start from last year’s ember,
the going gets tough, at start of November.

Will we last December, the world’s gone zany,
of most too few, of the rest FAR too many !
Santa’s drunk, just like last year, rememBER;
the world’s gone zany, will we last December ?

(deep and noisy breath ! ) From the New Year right through to May ....

Alan McAlpine Douglas

[Cleo_Serapis]

BRAVO ALAN!

This is AWESOME!  

You've given some food for thought here!

Great tile - hope you'll come back in now once a week (or more) to add to this practice thread...  

Cheers!

Santa’s drunk, just like last year, rememBER;
the world’s gone zany, will we last December ?


Great ending too!  

~Cleo  

[Guest_Jox_*]

OK, Lori, since you asked so nicely... my fourth form poem in twelve years. Another one in three years, maybe.

(Sorry, Lori - I've only just seen that you stipulated a theme. Never mind, just pretend. They are off on their (winter) hols anyway, Nessa has a tinsel necklace and SQ has baubles dangling from each... ear).

Copyright etc.

We Proudly Present...
The monster that time forgot!
(But Lori remembered).

=============================================
Grip the seats in horror (no, not someone else's),
Thrills, Spills (sorry, but no Quixotic windmills...)
The is romance for an evolutionary age...
As Bog Man meets Fish Wife!

Please note: There is to be no bog-snorkelling in this cinema.

This is a Me-too Gold-win Monster production. Roar. Roar.
=============================================

Ref: RL !-201 AB

The Love Story of SQ -
The  Swamp Quatrain.
by RL.

Swamp Quatrain -  a funny fellow -
from deep mires, sound strange bellows.
Is he upset? Is he in pain?
A funny fellow - Swamp Quatrain.

Eons ago, the World was young,
SQ wouldn’t climb Darwin’s rungs.
Left behind with nowhere to grow -
the World was young, eons ago.

Living at the end of Loch Ness
in the Scottish bog; what a mess!
Tetchy and seldom forgiving.
At the end of Loch Ness: Living.

Now SQ has a friend: Nessa;
she’s delighted him: his vesta.
Happy at last; life on the mend,
Nessa - now SQ has a friend.

Elation - swimming out to sea;
Nessa and SQ, one and free.
Ended - misery, frustration;
swimming out to sea - elation!

[Guest__*]

Dear Jox,

My goodness, 4 in 12 years, careful, you'll turn into Shakespeare next !

A lovely tail (Ha! ) of love requited, but I have to ask, should it not be
Swan Quatrain, what with the matchless Vesta involved !

I'm also interested in your use of the swap - Lori, as I recall, split the line equally in two, and I know I did too, but you have managed very well to break it wherever you pleased, thus in effect liberating the form somewhat. Well done, I will of course snitch that idea for use myself.

Oh, and I love the disgusting pun implicit in your title and idea ! No doubt you will now flood the market ....

Love
Alan

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Alan,

Thanks!

Wagger-dagger? Thanks but I've heard he's not been too good in recent centuries - gone off, don't you know!

No, swans have gone on off strike!

This vesta far pre-dates them... their inspiration, shall we say. (As you will realise, I know).

Thanks for the split comment - I simply couldn't stick 100% to form! (Mind you, Lori didn't stipulate whence the split ought to be, so I didn't even need to buy a Poetic Licence.)

Lori did say "reversed" but she didn't mean that. Such would make:

"Beyond the stones in times of Kings" into

"Kings of times in stones the beyond."

So I took my opening and ran with it. Seems I've created a hole new angle.

Perhaps this version of the Swap Q is "The Swamp Q Variation"! (What an Enigma that would be).

This looks like we're being lovvies, but I really liked yours, too. As my partner manages a retail shop I especially liked some of the messages. I believe Lord Dicky A is thriiled, too, darling.

James.

(Sorry, it's a Brit acting thing - rather like Hollywood but with more duckie).

[JustDaniel]

Hey, y'all... I've pondered this form for a week or so, and a thought occurred to me in church I'd like to pass on, so it's perhaps both telling and prophetic that it came out in this form that I will either call the Dyslexic Swap or the Spear Shake Swap (ABAB)

That’s Why

Although I’m slow, I’m thankful I can read.
Still, I would like to find a way to show
how much my dull, dyslexic eyes impede.
I’m thankful I can read, although I’m slow.

When I take little bites, I do quite well…
without too much distraction. Something lights
my understanding, and it starts to gel;
I do quite well… when I take little bites.

Somehow, a word-filled page confuses me;
I tighten up or panic; though I vow
to plug away, ere long my mind will flee.
A word-filled page confuses me somehow.

That’s why the poems I write and read are short.
I’m grateful I’m not stupid, though I’m shy
of breadth and depth of facts I may import.
The poems I write and read are short… That’s why.

© Daniel J Ricketts 28 Nov 2004

[Cleo_Serapis]

Ref: RL !-201 AB

The Love Story of SQ -
The  Swamp Quatrain.
by RL.

Swamp Quatrain -  a funny fellow -
from deep mires, sound strange bellows.
Is he upset? Is he in pain?
A funny fellow - Swamp Quatrain.

Eons ago, the World was young,
SQ wouldn’t climb Darwin’s rungs.
Left behind with nowhere to grow -
the World was young, eons ago.

Living at the end of Loch Ness
in the Scottish bog; what a mess!
Tetchy and seldom forgiving.
At the end of Loch Ness: Living.

Now SQ has a friend: Nessa;
she’s delighted him: his vesta.
Happy at last; life on the mend,
Nessa - now SQ has a friend.

Elation - swimming out to sea;
Nessa and SQ, one and free.
Ended - misery, frustration;
swimming out to sea - elation!

Very clever James!

I knew you'd bring Nessie into this!    

Great job! See - I knew you had it in you!

   

~Cleo  

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hey, y'all... I've pondered this form for a week or so, and a thought occurred to me in church I'd like to pass on, so it's perhaps both telling and prophetic that it came out in this form that I will either call the Dyslexic Swap or the Spear Shake Swap (ABAB)

That’s Why

Although I’m slow, I’m thankful I can read.
Still, I would like to find a way to show
how much my dull, dyslexic eyes impede.
I’m thankful I can read, although I’m slow.

When I take little bites, I do quite well…
without too much distraction.  Something lights
my understanding, and it starts to gel;
I do quite well… when I take little bites.

Somehow, a word-filled page confuses me;
I tighten up or panic; though I vow
to plug away, ere long my mind will flee.
A word-filled page confuses me somehow.

That’s why the poems I write and read are short.
I’m grateful I’m not stupid, though I’m shy
of breadth and depth of facts I may import.
The poems I write and read are short…  That’s why.

© Daniel J Ricketts 28 Nov 2004

Hello Daniel!  

I LIKE your version of the SWAP - I think we should call it the 'Inversion Swap' - what do you think? ABAB CDCD EFEF

Nice job Danielsan!  

Now - next one don't ne so HARSH on yourself!

HUGS!
~Cleo  

[Guest__*]

Dear Cleo,

"I think we should call it the 'Inversion Swap'"

in which case you'll have to call Jox's one the "Immersion Swap" !

Love
Alan