The View, Finally Something NEW Options

[AMETHYST]

****Revision 1*****

you haunt -
from shadows beyond,
that thick mist
where I lost you -

I walk along
cobblestone paths
toward the castle
you've prepared

cutting my way
through the fog
with the razor-sharp edge
of your memory.



****Original****

The View


you haunt
from shadows beyond,
that thick mist
where I lost you -

I walk
cobblestone paths
toward the castle
you've prepared

cutting my way
through the fog
with the razor-sharp edge
of your memory.

[Eisa]

Hi Liz

That is amazing - that you can omit the middle St and yet it still stands as a great poem.

I've given this a lot of thought as I do like the conciseness of just 2 stanzas, but really feel perhaps it makes more sense if st2 is included. You would have to be walking along to cut your way through. However, maybe St could be trimmed:

you haunt -
from shadows beyond,
that thick mist
where I lost you -

I walk along
cobblestone paths
toward the castle
[you've prepared]

Last line might not be needed

cutting my way
through the fog
with the razor-sharp edge
of your memory.

Just another thought Liz.

Hugs
Snow