Hi Steve
It's so good to read a poem from you again. This one is intriguing - a winter wonderland, mixed with Bright Eyes & Alice Through the Looking Glass.
I'm not sure if you want a critique, but I'll pass on my thoughts. It perhaps needs a just little trim.
White Wide-eyed Wonder
Love the title!There was a snowfall in the woodland,
but who will see
beyond the white trees
?Question mark at endThere is a white tailed buck
looking back at me
does he see,
what does he see?
Possibly, trim last 2 lines to
does he see me?And there's a white rabbit
under yonder pine
he's not mine
but he sure is fine in that white coat
without black tie
[I wonder why,]
I sure do wonder why...
No one can see, [no they don't see]
these things are free,
yes they're free
because of me
,commabut I still have them for eternity
in my eyes and memories.
Like a white dove flying free
they went on[e] their way,
as I went on mine.
Down the road,
[down the road,]
I am gone.
Sp. L2 on
I'm not too keen on the repeats - but that's just me. Others mat see this differently
A very enjoyable read all the same - bring on some more! LOL!
Snow