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> Renewal...Revision 6 Last Revision.., Wizard Award ~ Sonnet
Judi
post Sep 6 07, 08:55
Post #1


Creative Chieftain
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Group: Bronze Member
Posts: 544
Joined: 3-May 07
From: Central Florida
Member No.: 427
Real Name: Judith Labriola
Writer of: Poetry





Revision 6


The blowing winds grow chill as autumn dies
and Indian summer days now ebb too soon.
Sweet echoes of the summer's sultry sighs
will fade with waxing of a winter moon.

Our lives have winters too, when we must mourn
a love that did not last until today.
Our dreams remain in fall, our hearts are torn-
let's rest in winter's stillness, let us pray

that March will come and chase away the chill
and thaw our hearts with lovely springtime sun.
Seek out all wished-for needs you can fulfill,
then leave the past behind when winter's done.

When basking in the warmth of early spring,
discover dreams that need remembering.

Judith Labriola

============================================
Revision 5
The blowing winds grow chill when autumn dies
and Indian summer days have ebbed too soon.
Sweet echoes of the summer's sultry sighs
now fade with waxing of a winter moon.

Our lives have winters too, as we now mourn
a love that did not last until today.
Our dreams remain in fall, our hearts are torn.
Let's rest in winter's stillness, let us pray

that March will come and chase away the chill
and thaw our hearts with lovely springtime sun.
Seek out all wished-for needs you can fulfill,
then leave the past behind when winter's done.

As you bask in the warmth of early spring,
discover dreams that need remembering.

Judith Labriola








Revision 4
The blowing winds grow chill when autumn dies,
and Indian summer days have ebbed too soon.
Sweet echoes of the summer's sultry sighs
now fade with waxing of a winter moon.

Our lives have winters too, when we must mourn
a past that did not last until today.
Our dreams remain in fall, our hearts are torn,
Let's rest in winter's stillness, let us pray

that March will come and chase away the chill,
and thaw our hearts with lovely springtime sun
Seek out all wished-for needs you can fulfill,
and leave the past behind when winter's done.

Oh for the gentle warmth of early spring;
search for the dreams that need remembering.

Judith Labriola


Revision 3

The winds that blow grow chill when autumn dies,
no warmth of Indian summer days at noon.
All sweet echoes of summer's sultry sighs
now fade with the waxing of a winter moon.

Sad memories are past, no need to cry;
let all regrets now die a natural death.
While standing 'neath the joyless winter sky,
release your pain with every frost-tinged breath.

The spring will come to chase away the chill,
the joy of life this season will unveil.
Seek out the wished for needs you can fulfill,
the pulse is strong when hope and love prevail.

Oh, for the gentle warmth of early spring.
Search for dreams that need remembering

--

Judith Labriola





Revision 2
The winds that blow are cold when winter nears,
gone is the warmth of Indian summer's noon.
Pale traces left from August's sultry tears,
fade with the waxing of December's moon.
Sad memories will only make you weep,
sorrow and fear must die a timely death.
Depression's a mood we shouldn't keep,
dismiss it with a painful heaving breath.
Soon spring will come to chase away the chill,
courage and hope new pathways will unveil.
embrace the dreams you know you can fulfill,
strong is the pulse when faith and love prevail.

Bask in the gentle warmth of early spring.
Search for the dreams that need remembering.

Judith Labriola


Revision 1

Cold is the wind that blows when winter's nigh.
gone is the warmth of Indian summer's noon.
Pale sweet remembrance of August's sultry sigh,
fades with the waxing of December's moon.

Sad memories will only make you weep,
let sorrow and failure die a natural death.
Depression's a guest you do not want to keep,
dispel it with a painful heaving breath.

Soon spring will come to chase away the chill,
courage and hope new pathways will unveil.
Take joy in dreams you know you can fulfill,
strong is the pulse when faith and love prevail.

Oh, for the gentle warmth of early spring.
Search for the dreams that need remembering.




Original Version...

Cold is the wind that blows when winter's nigh,
gone is the warmth of Indian summer's noon
Pale sweet remembrance of summer's sultry sigh,
fades with the waxing of the winter moon.

Things of the past let time now leave behind,
sorrow and failure allow a natural death.
Left alone in the joyless winter sky,
seen leaving you in painful heaving breath.

Spring soon will come to chase away the chill,
sunlight and flowers will gaiety unveil.
Love and sweet promise of joy and dreams fulfill,
Strong is the pulse when hope and love prevail.

Oh, for the gentle warmth of early spring.
Search for the dreams that need remembering

--

Judith Anne Labriola


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Posts in this topic
- Judi   Renewal...Revision 6 Last Revision..   Sep 6 07, 08:55
- - lizbaker   Hello Judi, This is a lovely poem. I'm a novic...   Sep 6 07, 13:27
|- - Judi   hmmmmm....I may be wrong, but this is how I scan i...   Sep 6 07, 15:00
- - lizbaker   I'm sorry that I'm not familiar with that ...   Sep 6 07, 16:11
|- - Judi   Hello again, Liz.. I want it in the form it is now...   Sep 6 07, 17:22
- - lizbaker   Judi, I sincerely hope you find the help you need ...   Sep 6 07, 18:13
|- - Judi   Thanks Liz...It is also being reviewed on Sonnet C...   Sep 6 07, 18:23
- - lizbaker   ...QUOTE It is also being reviewed on Sonnet Centr...   Sep 6 07, 18:30
|- - Judi   Liz, I want you to know that I appreciate your com...   Sep 6 07, 19:32
- - Merlin   Coming in be request – and this may be a good time...   Sep 6 07, 20:47
|- - Judi   Merlin... Thanks so much for jumping in...I appre...   Sep 7 07, 06:25
- - heartsong7   Judi... You have charming premise in this but if y...   Sep 6 07, 22:38
|- - Judi   Sue.. Thanks so much for your help...I was really...   Sep 6 07, 23:45
- - Nada Lott   QUOTE .i am waiting for someone who is familiar wi...   Sep 6 07, 23:00
|- - Judi   QUOTE (Nada Lott @ Sep 7 07, 00:00 ) 1020...   Sep 6 07, 23:21
- - Aggiel   Hi Judi, I see you have piece of work written in...   Sep 7 07, 00:09
|- - Judi   Thanks for your suggestions Aggie...I am sure I wi...   Sep 7 07, 00:27
- - JustDaniel   Well, I ain't one o' yer ex-purts, but I...   Sep 7 07, 08:26
|- - Judi   Oh Daniel...This is lovely..a definite considerati...   Sep 7 07, 09:00
- - heartsong7   QUOTE I can write a new sonnet in strict IP, but t...   Sep 7 07, 11:28
|- - Judi   Dear Sue... It wasn't just Daniel who helped ...   Sep 7 07, 13:40
|- - Judi   QUOTE (heartsong7 @ Sep 7 07, 12:28 ) 102...   Sep 12 07, 10:44
- - Merlin   Hi Judy, Coming in on my quick lunch hour - I hav...   Sep 7 07, 14:49
|- - Judi   Merlin,,,, This was published 8 years ago in an a...   Sep 7 07, 16:29
- - Nada Lott   Yeah, full moon I guess. That sounded more curt t...   Sep 7 07, 16:35
|- - Judi   Idid need you...I wan't sure what to call it.....   Sep 7 07, 16:57
|- - JustDaniel   Greetings again, Judi (and Mary)... I have only b...   Sep 7 07, 17:29
- - Cleo_Serapis   Hi Judi, Before I jump in with a crit - I'm ...   Sep 7 07, 18:13
|- - Judi   Hi Lori, I hope that you see the brand new Revisi...   Sep 8 07, 09:51
- - Nada Lott   Judy, I think something has gone astray here. As ...   Sep 8 07, 11:33
|- - Judi   QUOTE (Nada Lott @ Sep 8 07, 12:33 ) 1021...   Sep 8 07, 12:11
- - Nada Lott   Yes, I read it; hence my comment about overworking...   Sep 8 07, 12:18
|- - Judi   [quote name='Nada Lott' date='Sep 8 07...   Sep 8 07, 12:30
- - heartsong7   judi... Just to say, if you want strict iambic, it...   Sep 8 07, 13:45
|- - Judi   Thanks Sue...I appreciate your time...at this poin...   Sep 8 07, 13:50
- - AMETHYST   Hi judi, There is such gentleness in this poem. ...   Sep 13 07, 23:43
|- - Judi   QUOTE I read a bit of the replies and responses bu...   Sep 14 07, 06:06
- - AMETHYST   Hi Judi, I like the original too and I know how...   Sep 14 07, 08:32
|- - Judi   Thanks Liz...I appreciate your support and suggest...   Sep 14 07, 18:13
|- - Judi   QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Sep 14 07, 09:32 ) 1024...   Sep 29 07, 19:20
- - AMETHYST   Hi Judi, Yes this surely has its own merits and ...   Sep 29 07, 19:48
- - Cleo_Serapis   Congrats Judi on your (first) wizard award winning...   Nov 4 07, 10:06

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