 Just Leaving, twilight zone challenge |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
| Guest_Zeus²_* |
  Dec 21 03, 09:50
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#1
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Just Leaving
On Thursday we leave for home, a stopover in a quiet town we lived in the valley of the shadows just the two of us Cæsar and me. One curiosity about that place one had to worry about the encounter always a question of the mind and the matter there was this problem of the masks and a thing about machines. As usual, the passerby who was indebted to the little people, whose endless sounds and silences wailing about the new exhibit, never ceased. He would emerge from the shelter, timing the arrival just as the monsters are due on Maple street. Would approach the both of us…muttering.. come wander with me. His famous line.. “I am the night- color me black” here to serve man and all who come with the gift I possess, It’s a good life. Even that little girl lost, who thinks she is queen of the nile sees me in the eye of the beholder whispering, no time like the past for us all to meet. After all, it was.. in his image he portrayed us all the doppelganger... from the other side.. “There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition”. Rod Serling |
  
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Dec 21 03, 16:42
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#2
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 Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 1,547 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia Member No.: 13 Real Name: Daniah Writer of: Poetry |
Larry,
I so enjoyed reading this... Now you've made ponder on taking on the challenges... I'll see if I will decide... Daniah ·······  ·······Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
"A good book is not read and forgotten. It lingers in the mind of the reader, reshaping thoughts, asking new questions, revisiting ancient ones." MM Award Winner     |
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| Guest_Jox_* |
Dec 21 03, 20:25
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#3
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Larry,
Hi, Do you think you could kindly explain some of the references in this please? I'm having trouble getting it properly. Cheers, James. |
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Dec 22 03, 14:33
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#4
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Ornate Oracle  Posts: 4,592 Joined: 31-October 03 From: New Jersey Member No.: 39 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Larry Carr |
Larry, you always seem to make ice cream out of spoiled milk.....nice use of the snippets.....you correlate them quite well.
······· ·······Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner          |
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Dec 22 03, 20:07
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#5
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Lar!
Ahhh - I love your responses to the challenges! I just put that Twilight Zone one up a few days ago too! :huh: Now, before I crit, must your snippets remain, or can I crit them too? Cheers! ~Cleo ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner  |
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| Guest_Zeus²_* |
Dec 23 03, 07:31
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#6
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Ahhhhh, Dani,
yes it would be great for you to put your special touch onto one of these challenges. Thanks for stopping by and your kind comments. Larry 
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| Guest_Zeus²_* |
Dec 23 03, 07:38
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#7
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James,
glad to see that you went to the original thread for an explanation. These TV programs were quite good, and did offer some great imaginative themes. Now join in and give us something from the "other side". Or as Rod Serling also is quoted as saying "It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. Rod Serling Larry :holly:
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| Guest_Zeus²_* |
Dec 23 03, 07:41
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#8
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John,
This is ice cream, 5th dimensional style, really wont know the taste til I try it. Thanks for our comments. Larry :snowflake:
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| Guest_Zeus²_* |
Dec 23 03, 07:43
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#9
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Hi Lor,
you wrote the rules, so it's now fair game, once posted in the crit forum. Be gentle  or I will place you in the TZ.  Have fun. Larry :snowflake: :holly: :ornament: :blueorn:
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Dec 23 03, 20:32
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#10
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
QUOTE(Zeus² @ Dec. 23 2003, 07:43) Hi Lor, you wrote the rules, so it's now fair game, once posted in the crit forum. Be gentle or I will place you in the TZ. Have fun. Larry     Hey Lar! The secret's OUT! I've been to the TZ (several times)! Can't ya tell? Muahhhh muahhhhhhhhhhhh...  My favorite one: To Serve Man... I love the ending 0 what a twister! LOL! Ohhhh, and what about that one with the woman in the cabin in the 1700's and the aliens land in her attic? AWESOME! Ohhhh. and the one about the banker in the vault at lunch who just wanted to read his books and then BOOOM -nuclear bomb - now he's at one with the library...until the end when he breaks his glasses!  I'll be back! 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Jox_* |
Dec 23 03, 20:53
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#11
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Larry -
In the Fifth Dimension it is the loo rolls which dance and sing about the bunnies. I thought you knew that? James. |
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