 ~ Theories and Rules ~, tried and true |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
| Guest_Zeus²_* |
  Aug 8 03, 17:50
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#1
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Theories and Rules € = (2=4-y+7)-1x/2y-ab°>~)¥=/(75a@=+ 33±) ³þ÷+л¤(a-b-c)> =Š=[x²-y³)=‡^=Œ§†=¿€9(£Øø>=+‰) This poem has been written whilst' I was here sittin', contains all the logic and meter never seen anything sweeter, at times got a bit terse but it's all in free verse, could also say a rhyme just a matter of keepin' time. No, I am not a cheater when writing, never did teeter. Formulas do not lie would never dare imply I could and would, comply. So if you feel the structure is long maybe, just maybe, the theory is wrong. |
  
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| Guest__* |
Aug 9 03, 10:53
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#2
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ummmmm, what can I say lol, I don't understand it but it sounds great read out loud
Miranda |
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| Guest__* |
Aug 9 03, 13:10
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#3
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A nice movement in the "theatre of the absurd."
My compliments -H |
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Aug 10 03, 07:03
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#4
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Larry! :)
This is a fun, creative one you've penned! I like the 'theme' you've applied here as well! Very clever and imaginitive! B) Love your 'theories' presented in the intro as well. :) Please take or toss my suggestions below.. Cheers! Lori Theories and Rules (with new suggested variations) € = (2=4-y+7)-1x/2y-ab°>~)+=/(75a@=+ 33±)³þ÷+л¤(a-b-c)> =Š =[x²-y³)=‡^=Œ§†=¿€9(£Øø>=+‰) Very interesting opening. Makes us say 'What's this?' with a curiosity to read on. This poem has been written whilst' I was here sittin', contains all the logic and meter never seen anything sweeter, at times got a bit terse but it's all in free verse, could also say a rhyme just a matter of keepin' time. I would break this into 2 separate stanzas: This poem HERE was written whilst' I was JUST sittin'. IT HAS all the logic and meter, HAVE YOU ever seen anything sweeter? At times IT got a bit terse, STARTING AS SIMPLY free verse. YOU could say THERE'S ALSO a rhyme, IT's just ALL a matter of time. No, I am not a cheater when writing, never did teeter. Formulas do not lie would never dare imply I could and would, comply. NoW, I am not a SCRIBE cheater; when writing, I never did teeter. THOSE formulas HERE do not lie, OR would never dare TO imply; I could and would GLADLY comply. So if you feel the structure is long maybe, just maybe, the theory is wrong. If you feel THAT the structure is long, maybe, the theory's ALL wrong. ·······  ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
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| Guest_Zeus²_* |
Aug 11 03, 18:39
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#5
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Miranda,
what can I say , it speaks for itself. Glad you enjoyed. z2 a/k/a Larry :love: |
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| Guest_Zeus²_* |
Aug 11 03, 18:41
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#6
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hqe,
My thanks for your compliments. Just some fun I like to have. z2 (Larry) |
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| Guest_Zeus²_* |
Aug 11 03, 18:42
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#7
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Lori, knew you would get a kick out of this. The theory is ok, its the words that need some reworking. Thanks for your input
Larry 
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Aug 11 03, 19:41
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#8
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 Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 1,250 Joined: 2-August 03 From: USA Member No.: 7 Writer of: Poetry |
QUOTE(Zeus² @ Aug. 08 2003, 17:50) Theories and Rules € = (2=4-y+7)-1x/2y-ab°>~)¥=/(75a@=+ 33±) ³þ÷+л¤(a-b-c)> =Š=[x²-y³)=‡^=Œ§†=¿€9(£Øø>=+‰) This poem has been written whilst' I was here sittin', contains all the logic and meter never seen anything sweeter, at times got a bit terse but it's all in free verse, could also say a rhyme just a matter of keepin' time. No, I am not a cheater when writing, never did teeter. Formulas do not lie would never dare imply I could and would, comply. So if you feel the structure is long maybe, just maybe, the theory is wrong. Hello my friend, Larry~ I enjoyed your math/writing lesson as only you can bring the right and left brain centers together in melodic harmony! A very nice job, and I love the clever heading with the equations! (Einstein has nothing on you) Thanks, for sharing your poetic charm and wit! Take care~ Lindi  :love:
······· ·······"Imagination is more important than knowledge and encircles the world"
Albert Einstein MM Award Winner   |
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| Guest__* |
Aug 16 03, 01:58
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#9
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Dear Larry
Great fun ! Tiny point on physical appearance - verse 1 is 8 lines, v2 is 5, v 3 is 2. Almost sonnet form. I'd add a 6th line to v2, or do as suggested above, and split v 1 in half, then add a line in v2, combineand split v 2 and 3, to end up with 4 x 4 line verses. I'm equally untrained on poetry as you mention elsewhere you are, but I have an eye for form and neatness, but then, that might not matter to you, and that is OK too ! Love Alan |
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