Ae freislighe Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi all.

John (Arnfinn) has enlightened us with his poem, Soul Songs, which was written using some of the parameters of the poetic form, Ae freislighe (pronounced ay-freshly).

In Irish prosody, each line of the Ae Freislighe has seven syllables, with lines one and three ending in triple rhymes and two and four with double rhymes. The poem must also end as it began, either with the first syllable, word, phrase, or line. The technical term for this ending is dunadh, and it occurs in all the Gaelic forms.
xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)
xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)

My quick attempt:

Respond with sheer excitement
when critiquing goes beyond
refuse to think: incitement
and whole-heartedly respond.


John's (revised) attempt (without the triple and double rhymes):

Soul Songs

Afloat within dark redoubt,
Thrush’s melodic soul note;
pure velarised songs ring out-
through forest Kurrajongs afloat.

His original (not with all params of form):

Afloat within dark redoubt,
Thrush’s melodic soul songs;
pure velarised notes ring out-
afloat through forest Kurrajongs.
Methinks he thought the last line had to start with the same word.

Why not give this form a try (any of its variations) and post yours here?

Good luck and thanks John!
Cleo

[JustDaniel]

Aye, Freshly

Ae freislighe's complexity
takes extra concentration…
and mayhap perplexity
while grasping its formation.

In Gaelic, it's dignified
to write a wee bit gaily;
patience would be signified
by penning these things daily.

To wend with the beginning
where'er, yet note rhyme's end-width,
you'll know you won't be sinning
by using it to end with.

Since Gaelic, you're not stunads,
so you'll practice ways to make
your freislighes with hot dunadhs
until it's a piece o' cake.

You'll need some propensity
for playing… and especially
if you want intensity,
which could shine forth… aye, freshly.

© MLee Dickens'son 01 August 2006
Vss 3 & 4 added 14 August

[Cleo_Serapis]

Greetings Lori and John.

I've just looked at this form with interest, as you might imagine. I do note a few further details you may have overlooked. Though the form "pronounced "Ay Freshly" is written in quatrain, I think that it normally has multiple quatrains... and that the final line of the poem (not the stanza, unless, of course the poem is one stanza long) should end (not begin) with the same first syllable, word, or line with which the poem begins...

as, in one example that I read, a three stanza ae freislighe begins

Seven veils...

and ends

... denies the seven veils.

so that John's might then be:

Soul Songs

Afloat within dark redoubt,
Thrush’s melodic soul notes;
pure velarised songs ring out-
through forest Kurrajongs afloat.


Oh, and there is another feature, evidently, that is a little different from anything I've yet encountered:

In each stanza, not only is each line seven syllables long, but L1 & L3 end in triple rhymes, and L2 & L4 end with double rhymes, thus:

xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)
xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)

Yes, this is what I have just researched as well:

Each line of the Ae Freislighe has seven syllables, with lines one and three ending in triple rhymes and two and four with double rhymes. The poem must also end as it began, either with the first syllable, word, phrase, or line.
xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)
xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)

I'll post a revised sample.

Thanks!

[AMETHYST]

Ok, I am in love with this Form, but I am FRIGHTENED by it as well... Let me give this a go...



I saw an evening pixie
beneath the moon; slow dancing
as if she'd been in Dixie
the sight of her, entrancing.

She waved a wand of magic
and changed the Southern viewing
from mem'ry of love's tragic
days, lover's now persuing.

Tomorrow brings enjoyment
to heal the hurting once more
and strengthen our deployment,
hope for the future; I saw.


Ok, this isn't the greatest, but I plan on practicing this form... it is lovely and challenging.

Hugs, Liz

[JustDaniel]

Super, Liz! It's wonderful to see you jump into Lori's new thread here!

It seems to me that you already have a handle on the form, and I like your enjambement in S2... I can't see a thing that should frighten you about this. All the poetic tools that you have mastered can only blossom in such a flower bed as this.

I'll be looking forward to your placing this one for crit... both to see some further work on it and to foster interest of others in it. At first I thought you'd missed the rhyme scheme in the last stanza... but then I remembered that so many of our participants here are from the UK and (very foreign to me) pronounce 'saw' as though it has an R in it -- which would make 'more' rhyme perfectly with 'saw'. Right?

I'm not quite sure of the meaning of your last line yet, but I'm sure that will be clarified in time.

deLighting to see this, Daniel

P.S. If you don't mind a tongue-in-cheek ending non-suggestion:

'preventing future eye-sore' [ which creates UK homophone for the opening 'I saw'. ]

[AMETHYST]

Hey Daniel,

I am not from the UK, but my Brooklyn accent rhymes it with more/sore/saw/door ... unfortunately, that is one thing my ear and tongue cannot get rid of... However, it is only with saw and a couple of other words...

I do like this and will be posting it for critique in 2 days! LOL As I just posted another in Herme's before.

You've done a wonderful job as well getting this form under hand. You are quite creative so you add some very wonderful aspects to the form.

I look forward to learning, practicing and creating this form with you...

Best Wishes, Liz

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Liz,

A lovely poem! It has a mystical appeal.

I too would say saw as in flaw, withdraw or awe.

I look forward to trying this one soon.

[Arnfinn]

Ha,


Just a word>


I'll come back and judge the poetry later.


My understanding of 'ae freislighe' is the interpretation by C. E. Preston the revisionist for the late J. A. Cuddon.

Quote, [ In Irish prosody (q.v), a quatrain (q.v.) of seven-syllable lines, rhyming abab. The poem should end with the same first syllable, line or word with which it begins.]

Now my friends, what does END mean?

I'm not going to search the net to find out...Nooooooooo. So perhaps you can do the walking and update 'ae freislighe'. I agree, the form makes for a good poem if you extend the stanzas.


John.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi John.

I'll see if Ivor can help us - I cannot find examples of this form by the 'bards of yore' online.

I did find a poem Ivor (poeticpiers) wrote to explain the form here:

http://p206.ezboard.com/fthepeacefulpubfrm...opicID=18.topic

I think 'end' means that the ending of the poem (last line, word) must be the same as the first line or word. "The poem (not the stanza) ends with the first syllable, word or phrase with which it commenced."


We'll need to investigate more methinks.

~Cleo

[Arnfinn]

Hi All,

Yep, I checked out Ivor's 'a' f' poem, Re:


In each stanza, not only is each line seven syllables long, but L1 & L3 end in triple rhymes, and L2 & L4 end with double rhymes, thus:

xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)
xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)

The line 1,3 triple rhyme and 2, 4 double rhyme are parts of the form that I wasn't aware of: these rules make the poetry much more appealing.

The part of the form that I still don't understand is?

should end (not begin) with the same first syllable, word, or line with which the poem begins...

I checked Ivor's 3 stanza poem and could not reconcile the [end rule] with the his poem.

Maybe it's me... I'm a bit thick sometimes.

As I don't have permission to copy Ivors poem, so I can not replicate the lines in question.

Meanwhile, I think I'll go and check-out the form again.Hmm... The late J. A. Cuddon's reference papers at Cambridge University, Cambridge, England would be a good place to start.



Be back, John.

[Arnfinn]

Ha,

I found this interesting

This site explains all the old Irish poetry

About the end part.

The last requirement is called a 'dunadh'

The requiremen is that the poem end as it began, either with the first syllable, word, phrase, or line.

I still don't know what it means?

Daniel to the rescue Please!


http://www.poetryrenewal.com/forms/000/5.shtml




John


Geeze I'm DUMB, yyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.



I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaas looking at the end of each STANZA

I've Just checked out a poem that was five stanza's long and the first word in the first stanza and the last word IN the last stanza were the same.





BACK TO CHECk the site again tomorrow.



JOHN

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi All,

Yep, I checked out Ivor's 'a' f' poem, Re:


In each stanza, not only is each line seven syllables long, but L1 & L3 end in triple rhymes, and L2 & L4 end with double rhymes, thus:

xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)
xxxx(xxa)
xxxxx(xb)

The line 1,3 triple rhyme and 2, 4 double rhyme are parts of the form that I wasn't aware of: these rules make the poetry much more appealing.

The part of the form that I still don't understand is?

should end (not begin) with the same first syllable, word, or line with which the poem begins...

I checked Ivor's 3 stanza poem and could not reconcile the [end rule] with the his poem.

Maybe it's me... I'm a bit thick sometimes.

As I don't have permission to copy Ivors poem, so I can not replicate the lines in question.

Meanwhile, I think I'll go and check-out the form again.Hmm... The late J. A. Cuddon's reference papers at Cambridge University, Cambridge, England would be a good place to start.



Be back, John.

Hi John.

In Ivor's example poem the first line starts with the word "Love."

The very last word in the poem is also "love". In his example, he ends the poem with the same word he beginned it with.

Thus, "The poem must also end as it began, either with the first syllable, word, phrase, or line."

[JustDaniel]

Greetings, Lori and John!

I hope John doesn't have a headache from doing so much head-beating! I've been there myself. I frequently have to ask questions multiple times and be given the answer several different ways before I get things!

I've just added a new third verse ( plus a fourth, making the original one to become V5) to my Aye, Freshly above, which was my own first ae freislighe, written to both describe the poem and to help me figure it out. Do note that it includes my penchant for word-twists. Of course a given stanza need not do what I did with this one, since the beginning/end requirement refers to the whole poem, not the stanza... yet I thought it would be a fun thing to provide a demonstration of it in this third verse as well. I hope it doesn't confuse someone in the process.

deLighting in the process, Daniel

P.S. If you don't have permission to use someone's poem, you can always give a link to it, as I will here with an interesting note on the dunadh

[Arnfinn]

Aye, Freshly

Ae freislighe's complexity
takes extra concentration…
and mayhap perplexity
while grasping its formation.

In Gaelic, it's dignified
to write a wee bit gaily;
patience would be signified
by penning these things daily.

To wend with the beginning
where'er, yet note rhyme's end-width,
you'll know you won't be sinning
by using it to end with.

Since Gaelic, you're not stunads,
so you'll practice ways to make
your freislighes with hot dunadhs
until it's a piece o' cake.

You'll need some propensity
for playing… and especially
if you want intensity,
which could shine forth… aye, freshly.

© MLee Dickens'son 01 August 2006
Vss 3 & 4 added 14 August

Hi Daniel,

Got to hand it to you.

You've picked up the rhythm and set about utilizing the the basics. Your poem reads very well.



I'd say...aye, yes, very well done mate.

Aye, parable.


John

[Arnfinn]

Ok, I am in love with this Form, but I am FRIGHTENED by it as well... Let me give this a go...



I saw an evening pixie
beneath the moon; slow dancing
as if she'd been in Dixie
the sight of her, entrancing.

She waved a wand of magic
and changed the Southern viewing
from mem'ry of love's tragic
days, lover's now persuing.

Tomorrow brings enjoyment
to heal the hurting once more
and strengthen our deployment,
hope for the future; I saw.


Ok, this isn't the greatest, but I plan on practicing this form... it is lovely and challenging.

Hugs, Liz

Day, mate,

Ya getting into the swing of things Liz. Whooo... those Southern Pixie belle's. Something's a bit magical in the concept.

I'm like you, I think this is a great form to have some fun with. Ae freislighe-- the form evolved from the bablins of young maidens singing while they cut peat in the peat bogs of Ireland.

Sorta got a muddy down-earthy feeling bout it, doncha think...Sorta Barry Fitzgeraldish.

A good facsimilie of the faery Irish in you poem Liz.


John

[Peterpan]

This is what is so great about this forum. I so enjoyed reading all the posts .
Worth a bag of Irish gold!

Thank you for the entertainment.

I am sick in bed with a horrible virus. Feeling very grotty.

PP



P.S. But, hey I have poetry to write, to read, and the is shining outside.

[Arnfinn]

This is what is so great about this forum. I so enjoyed reading all the posts .
Worth a bag of Irish gold!

Thank you for the entertainment.

I am sick in bed with a horrible virus. Feeling very grotty.

PP



P.S. But, hey I have poetry to write, to read, and the is shining outside.

Hi Bev,

What a great endorsement.


Sorry about your indisposition

I was crook for about eight months...now I'm coming good.


Take a couple of Asprin n' get a writing pad and jot ya thoughts down.




When ya start to feel a bit better, youll have some amunition to write some poetry.


Hope your a lot better soon.

Regards,


John

[Peterpan]

This is what is so great about this forum. I so enjoyed reading all the posts .
Worth a bag of Irish gold!

Thank you for the entertainment.

I am sick in bed with a horrible virus. Feeling very grotty.

PP



P.S. But, hey I have poetry to write, to read, and the is shining outside.

Hi Bev,

What a great endorsement.


Sorry about your indisposition

I was crook for about eight months...now I'm coming good.


Take a couple of Asprin n' get a writing pad and jot ya thoughts down.




When ya start to feel a bit better, youll have some amunition to write some poetry.


Hope your a lot better soon.

Regards,


John

Hello John

No, I am not so bad. And anyway I have my poetry...what else could one wish for?

Thank you for the wishes. Glad you are on the mend!

Keep writing.

PP

[Cleo_Serapis]

This is what is so great about this forum. I so enjoyed reading all the posts .
Worth a bag of Irish gold!

Thank you for the entertainment.

I am sick in bed with a horrible virus. Feeling very grotty.

PP



P.S. But, hey I have poetry to write, to read, and the is shining outside.

Awe Bev - thanks for the kind words! I like the diversity that each member brings. I wish you a speedy recovery! Take some , rest and read..... Maybe your muse will come to life?

Cheers
~Cleo

[Peterpan]

This is what is so great about this forum. I so enjoyed reading all the posts .
Worth a bag of Irish gold!

Thank you for the entertainment.

I am sick in bed with a horrible virus. Feeling very grotty.

PP



P.S. But, hey I have poetry to write, to read, and the is shining outside.

Awe Bev - thanks for the kind words! I like the diversity that each member brings. I wish you a speedy recovery! Take some , rest and read..... Maybe your muse will come to life?

Cheers
~Cleo

There are always benefits to ills!!!!

I feel shocking. Horrible headache.

Been on all day! Had huge fun.

Bev more like