Rondel (from 13th Century), Poetic form Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi all.

John (Arnfinn) has enlightened us with his poem, Thirty One in Darwin, which was written using the parameters of the poetic form, Rondel. There are a few different variations of the form so I will first post John's definition and the one he used when writing his poem.

The Rondel is a fixed form of considerable antiquity and known from the 13th century. In it's earliest form it appears to have been an eight-line poem rhyming ABaA abAB (A and B represent repeated lines - as is Arnfinn's poem). A variation was the rondel double rhyming, ABBA abBA abba ABBA. The most unusual rondel form consisted of three stanzas working on two rhymes, thus: ABba abAB abba [B]. A thirteen-line poem in which the refrain came twice in the first eight lines and the opening line was repeated as the last line. If it was of fourteen lines, the refrain was repeated three times.


Thirty one in Darwin

Thirty one in Darwin today;
down to twenty six at Yeppoon.
The Winter's Sun - a grown bouquet…
thirty one in Darwin today.
White clouds drift; downy parfait;
whipped shapes, by a sky-blue spoon.
Thirty one in Darwin today;
down to twenty six at Yeppoon.

Why not give this form a try (any of its variations) and post yours here?

Good luck and thanks John!
Cleo

[JustDaniel]

A Round to Work

I find it hard to work today
with no one here to urge me on.
I’m glad the air conditioner's on,
but summer lures me out to play

or dawdle in the garden, pay
a pool-side visit, mow the lawn.
I find it hard to work today
with no one here to urge me on.

The blacks-on-whites of notes turn gray,
ooze down the page I'm writing on
to ocean sands I'd walk upon…
I think my mind has fled. Let's say
I find it hard to work today.

© MLee Dickens'son 14 July 2006

[Arnfinn]

I find it hard to work today
with no one here to urge me on.
I’m glad the air conditioner's on,<<< Is the syllable count out mate?
but summer lures me out to play

or dawdle in the garden, pay
a pool-side visit, mow the lawn.
I find it hard to work today
with no one here to urge me on.

The blacks-on-white of notes turn gray,
ooze down the page I’m writing on
to ocean sands I walk upon…
I think my mind has fled. Let’s say
I find it hard to work today.

How are you Daniel. You have turned out A Rondel in the unusual form. Very good effort, indeed. I attempted one of these, my opinion is that the unusual form is more of a poetic exercise. My attempt was not up to your standard, mine turned out flat and clumsey. I found the original 13th century form much better.

Thought I'd just drop bye to comment.

John

[JustDaniel]

I'm doing reasonably well, John... in fact I may read this piece at an open mic tonight -- the first on at the store of a friend of mine... after my brand new rider mower died in the middle of the job and having to finish it with a Lawn Boy in sweltering heat... I'm appreciative of your noticing the unapostrophized word that doesn't do that well, so perhaps you could let me know if you know a way!

Thank you, Arn, for dropping by
with your meter-sensing ear...
made my air-condish'ner cry.
Thank you, Fin, for dropping by
'postrophizin' that word... Try!
...always comes out lookin' queer.
Thank you, John, for dropping by
with your meter-sensing ear.

Unusual Rondel

Unusual fits best on me;
it's flexible and lets me stray
from norms... allows my mind to play
with words, as anyone can see.

It's strange how form can set one free
inside the lines -- a theme buffet.
Unusual fits best on me;
it's flexible and lets me stray.

That it makes sense... no guarantee...
some orderly... some disarray...
but hear it form a fine bouquet
creating my own bourgeoisie;
unusual fits best on me.

© MLee Dickens/son 29 August 2006


Lightly, Daniel

[Arnfinn]

[quote name='JustDaniel' date='Jul 29 06, 14:57 ' post='79877']
I'm doing reasonably well, John... in fact I may read this piece at an open mic tonight -- the first on at the store of a friend of mine... after my brand new rider mower died in the middle of the job and having to finish it with a Lawn Boy in sweltering heat... I'm appreciative of your noticing the unapostrophized word that doesn't do that well, so perhaps you could let me know if you know a way!*

Thank you, Arn, for dropping by
with your meter-sensing ear...
made my air-condish'ner cry.
Thank you, Fin, for dropping by
'postrophizin' that word... Try!
...always comes out lookin' queer.
Thank you, John, for dropping by
with your meter-sensing ear.

Hi Daniel,

* No I dont Mate. Your 13 c Rondel is a humorous play on words. And in my eyes...perfect.

What I'm trying to impart in an imparting way is, three or four verses of the above may turn out an elaborate poem



Unusual Rondel

Unusual fits best on me;
it's flexible and lets me stray
from norms... allows my mind to play
with words, as anyone can see.

It's strange how form can set one free
inside the lines -- a theme buffet.
Unusual fits best on me;
it's flexible and lets me stray.

That it makes sense... no guarantee...
some orderly... some disarray...
but hear it form a fine bouquet
creating my own bourgeoisie;
unusual fits best on me.

© MLee Dickens/son 29 August 2006


Hey, you've excelled here Daniel. As you say a delight. Read this aloud in contrast to your last piece and this poem wins hand down. loved 'bouquet n' bourgeoisie.' Wow, has that ever been done before. Nah, I think it's a first mate.

Hmmm... Delighted by Daniel.


John