 Haiku exercise #1, distant thunder |
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 Jun 6 07, 03:25
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#21
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
Hey -- this is fun!
I'll take my recent revision from shogun running along the cliff edge -- my alarm clock rings and it becomes running along the cliff edge -- distant thunder a completely different perpective -- I like it! also running away from big waves -- my alarm clock rings becomes running away from big waves -- distant thunder Snow 
·······  ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner            |
  
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Jun 6 07, 04:45
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#22
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Kathy and Lary.
Yes, I see what you mean - the 'hopscotch' is the idea that comes to mind because they leaped off them when startled. Well, when I saw it, we were in a canoe gliding along the water. The frogs were hanging on the lily pads and then leaped off them as we got closer. So, I'll assume they were startled by our approach. Summer heat is not exactly it as it was our approach that caused their reaction, so more like 'summer intrusion', LOL! I'll need to think on this further, perhaps mention canoe or the paddles in the water but that wouldn't seem like the right fragment to me? I'll be back (CRAZY busy at work).... Lori ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner   |
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Jun 14 07, 00:34
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#23
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 Babylonian  Posts: 103 Joined: 18-April 07 From: British Columbia, Canada Member No.: 421 Real Name: laryalee fraser Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Kathy Earsman |
Snow, sorry I didn't stop to comment earlier...
I love the way you grasp the idea... and also that you're having fun!  Cleo, I like the idea of adding a canoe to the scene... a moment well worth working on!  Lary |
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