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The Braeburn Tree ** |
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May 27 17, 17:03
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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The Braeburn Tree
Mother-like it stoops, watching Sheba’s endless sleep, drapes its blush pashmina over her in spring.
Its body inclines across the slender path to bask in solar warmth; arms grasp us as we grapple to pass.
After harvest, we shovel it out, abandoning windfalls to compost the ground, around a gaping cavity.
Repositioned by the wishing well, we pamper it, hope sap will course through veins again and the chasm left
will not be needed very soon. In February’s gloom, we wait for the man trapped in traffic, carrying a mercy-potion.
It takes seconds. Max is swallowed by the void as soil shrouds him. We replant nearby bulbs, in memoriam.
I first perceived Max in a dream-chase, the tabby scurries from Sheba’s umbrageous grave. Now he rests beside her.
Today, seedtime rays and drizzle foster apple blossoms to unfurl; narcissi gently waver where heads once bowed.
--------------------------------------- St2 was in solar warmth; arms grasp us as we grapple passed.
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Jun 1 17, 09:26
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,497
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Eira,
I don't have any nits or crits; just a few tears. I've had too many pets pass away in the last few months so your post affected me. I just wanted to pen a sonnet for you and your loved ones. This is not for critique or anything else. It is my gift to you.
Larry
Max and Sheba
for Eira
I see where soul’s bright diamonds etched the page with sad cathartic words wrenched from the heart to ease the pain. Loss, filled with helpless rage, will soon abate and memories impart remembered love once found within a dream. Your litany of loss is eulogy to life’s companionship but it would seem that each demise is like the apple tree.
They’re planted in your life with love and hope to grasp at your emotions every day. Although you know the brevity and scope of that allotted time they must obey. In losing them, your grief the chasm fills as they both rest beneath the daffodils.
thx Daniel!
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Jun 14 17, 17:14
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,117
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Dear Eira... I've hesitated to comment because of the subject matter. I'm clear that Sheba and Max are your deceased pets and that Sheba seems to have predeceased Max, but I'm unclear about the digging, leaving a hole, filling one of them so long after... and what the 'mercy-potion' might be. Please forgive my ignorance. Also wondering if last word of S2L2 is "past". So sorry for your loss, my friend. Larry, you've again written a beautiful and almost flawless sonnet. I'd only ask you to consider something like 'chasm' to replace your otherwise accurate word 'void' at the end of S2L5. deLighting in both of you, Daniel
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Jun 15 17, 14:13
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,497
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hey Daniel,
I probably shouldn't be carrying on the string in Eira's absence but from what I figured out, the "chasm left" is from digging up the apple tree and with the stated hope that it wouldn't be needed (for a burial) anytime soon. The mercy-potion was, I believe, for Max.
Sorry Eira! Hope I surmised correctly. Hope you and yours are doing okay and I look forward to your return to MM.
Larry
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Jun 18 17, 20:15
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 250
Joined: 1-November 15
Member No.: 5,282
Real Name: richard chase
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Rhapsody
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Eira - I'm not too clear on the movements and mechanics of the situation but am very clear on the emotion and feeling behind them. My sister and brother and I held a solemn march across a broad field and over the tracks to bury our first dog - Ouija - My condolences - and best - RC
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Jun 26 17, 17:06
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Hi Larry, Daniel and Richard, Thank you so much for offering your thoughts here. I will return and answer you individually tomorrow as it's my bedtime now and I'm too tired to collect my thoughts. See you soon Eira
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Jun 26 17, 18:59
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Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 102
Joined: 22-June 17
From: Arizona, USA
Member No.: 5,325
Real Name: Ali Zonak
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:none
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Eira, please accept my condolences on the passing of your beloved pets. A friend of mine just buried her companion, an old dog, also named Max, and I cried with her. I have written poems about my deceased pets, but cannot bring myself to compose any more. I still have two dogs and two cats that--most likely--will outlive me. Fortunately, I have family that will take care of my friends. Pardon me, if I don't offer crits on a poem written in sorrow. I had to Google "Braeburn Apple Tree, a tree that was propagated (grafted) by an Australian arborist of that name. Be well, Eira. Ali
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~~~~ It is a poem’s absolute perfection that can lead to its imperfection. ~~~~
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Jun 29 17, 16:50
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Hi All,
Thank you for your various comments and Larry for your beautiful sonnet.
I felt perhaps I should explain the poem as it is rather complex.
Our collie Sheba was buried under the tree many years ago now and I have written many poems about her. I had a dream (mentioned in St 7) not long after she died about a Dalmatian chasing a cat from Sheba's grave, To cut a long story short, we adopted a Dalmatian, Max, 4 years later and when studying his birth certificate I found that he was born (near enough) on the night I had my dream. Spooky, eh?
In recent days the tree grew over the path and we decided to move it to another part of the garden, leaving the chasm as we knew that Max was ill and might be buried there. (It would be difficult digging frozen ground)
The mercy potion, Daniel, was the medication to 'put him to sleep'
I hope that answers any questions.
Eira
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