Will Shakes His Peers Options

[RC James]

What a rascal you were, in the guise
of a wit-riddled playwright inventing
realities above the din of lesser men,
shallow in their contumely for you.

Ah, but you veiled in a maze of rhyme
contempt for worrisome detractors each,
covered the field in glory manifest above,
with music of language alone, mannered
where necessary, but always, with reason.

How we lack a visage akin to yours nowadays,
how thirsty we are for wit perched upon
the brink of danger and hoary escapades.

We missed by centuries the opening when Juliet
wakes to find Romeo’s still body next to her;
the silence, beyond applause, at the curtain.

Now, let us bend a knee and issue praise,
this, your world, above all others, holds sway
with us today, no other work shines just so.






What a rascal you were, to be precise,
a godly apparition spouting verities
heard above the din of lesser men,
shallow in their contumely for you.

Ah, but you veiled in glissading rhyme
contempt for worrisome detractors each,
covered the field in glory manifest above,
with music of your fulsome brow, mannered
where necessary, but always, within reason.

We missed the first night’s fervent hush
when Juliet wakes to find Romeo’s still body,
and the silence, beyond applause, at the end.

We lack a visage akin to yours nowadays.
We are thirsty for wit perched upon
the brink of danger and hoary escapades.

Now, let us bend a knee and issue learned praise,
this, your world, above all others, holds sway
in our minds and hearts, no other shines just so.




(0rig.)
What a rascal you were, to be precise,
a godly apparition spouting verities
heard above the din of lesser men,
shallow in their contumely for you.

Ah, but you veiled in glissading rhyme
contempt for worrisome detractors each,
covered the field in glory manifest above,
with music of your fulsome brow, mannered
where necessary, but always, within reason.

How we lack a visage akin to yours nowadays,
how thirsty we are for wit perched upon
the brink of danger and hoary escapades.

How we missed by centuries your entertainment,
live from the pits, soaring above the galleries.

Now, let us bend a knee and issue learned praise,
this, your world, above all others, holds sway
in our minds and hearts, no other shines just so.

[Critter]

Good treatment of a monumental subject. Learned a new word (contumely)...but I did not follow the link...I have no nits...yet. it seems well done but I hope someone will be more constructive. This probably deserves some fine tuning because it is potentially great. It brings the reader in...we know the subject but perhaps we feel tentative...perhaps that is what the poem needs...the immediacy of theatre...perhaps the reader must be taken there rather than just the address to the bard...don't know, just a suggestion.

[RC James]

This is re-worked with a stanza added following Critter´s suggestion. R

[Eisa]

Well done, Richard!

It's good to see you revising a poem first written in April. I think your following Critter's advice has been successful here. No nits.

Eira

[Psyche]

Wow, Richard, this is splendid. I'm so glad to find you back in full form again. I've no nits at all, just amazed.

This poem could be written as a ballad, perhaps with metre. As I read it, it appears to sing to me, it contains several rhyming words that make it so musical.

How about it?

Syl
PS: Forgot to say that I totally agree with you, we lack Will's incredible talent to transcend the ordinary and get away with it. No poet has surpassed him, nor playwrite.
At least, that's what I feel. Others may differ. Bye!